Part 4 (2/2)
”It appears so. Under his alias I found one restraining order against him, and at least two joint bank accounts with women's names. All three women are widows or divorcees. I'd say that looks like a pattern, and I haven't even dug much deeper.”
”Maybe he just likes older women,” I said, to be contrary.
”Or women appropriate for his age are better targets and better camouflage than younger ones,” he said. ”Please don't get mixed up with him, Karina.”
”Is he dangerous?”
”The woman who took out the restraining order certainly thought he was.”
We were silent a moment while I mulled that over.
”Karina,” he said suddenly, ”I worry you're not safe if he's there.”
”You weren't so concerned for my safety when you sent Damon George to try to get into my pants.” So much for tamping down my anger. ”Where was your protective instinct then, James?”
He said nothing, and I wondered if he was trying to think up a justification or an apology. If he came out with a justification, I thought I might throw the phone across the room.
”I'm sorry,” he said, almost a whisper. ”That was one of the stupidest things I've done in my life. I... I don't even know what I was thinking.”
You weren't thinking, I almost said, but I realized it was more than a snappy comeback. It was true. He had acted scared and hurt. He had tried to rea.s.sert control even while running from me.
”I'm sorry,” he said again.
”You don't make the best decisions when you're afraid,” I said.
”No, I don't.”
”And you're scared for me now, aren't you?”
”Yes.”
”Don't get any bright ideas,” I warned.
He had clearly been thinking about it, because he immediately said, ”At least let me send Stefan to protect you.”
”I don't need a limo driver.”
He bristled. ”Stefan is far more than a driver-!”
”I know. I know. Just busting your chops,” I said, calming down now that the wave of anger had ebbed. ”You'd really do that? Send him here?”
”Your mother has been severely hurt, possibly by a con man intent on getting her money. I don't even want to contemplate whether he's desperate enough to hurt you, too. If Stefan's mere presence is not enough to deter him, he is more than capable of defending you, as well.”
I couldn't help it. Hearing how James's way of speaking grew more and more precise the more emotional he got made me miss him terribly. I wanted to give him a chance to explain, but I wanted to be sure I was ready for it. You didn't chase him all the way to England so you could slam the door in his face, I reminded myself.
I stood and looked out the window at the front yard. ”You said you wanted to explain yourself to me in person.”
”Yes. I... I feel that's best.”
”So you can put your dom aura on and make me believe you?”
”No, Karina. I don't trust any other kind of communication. Not only for secrecy, but if we're going to trust each other, we need to be in the same room. You need to see my face, hear my voice. You need to read me as much as I need to read you.”
Well, that was probably true. ”And you aren't afraid I'm going to strip-mine your soul?”
”Of course I am. That's what I've been trying to tell you, Karina. You're the one with my heart in your hands. I let that fear drive me away from you and let it spur me to some terrible decisions. I'm done with letting fear rule me, though. I want...”
I could hear him struggling to compose himself.
”I would rather be ruled by love than fear,” he finally said. ”And even if you turn me away, at least I will have conquered fear.”
Knowing that he was as afraid of his feelings as I was of mine made me feel calmer. And determined. ”When can you be here?” I said.
”We'll drive all night if you want us there by morning.”
”No. Stefan is as jet-lagged as you. I don't want him driving off the road into a ditch.” I did the math in my head. Ten-hour drive, eight hours' sleep, some time to pack or stop to eat. ”How about tomorrow night?”
”We can be there by seven. We'll set up a security-”
”No.” I cut him off before he could get that ambitious. ”Get a hotel. Stefan can stay here, but you...” I felt my heart squeeze in my chest as I gathered the nerve to say it and stand firm. ”You get one shot at being honest with me. No dom bulls.h.i.+t. No holding back. If that goes well, then maybe I'll consider seeing you again.”
”I understand.”
You better do your d.a.m.nedest to fix this, James Byron LeStrange.
”Give me a chance, Karina,” he said then, as if he read my mind. ”I'll make things right between us.”
”Tomorrow,” I said.
”Tomorrow,” he agreed.
I hung up before I could lose my nerve and sank back down on the bed. It was too early to go to sleep for the night, but maybe if I just closed my eyes for a little while...
I let a wave of drowsiness submerge me as I lay my head down on the pillow.
We were dancing. I could feel his hand at my waist as we swayed across the ballroom floor and when I looked, we were at a ball. The ball that changed everything between us.
The music s.h.i.+fted to something warm and slow, and I pressed close to him like it was a slow dance at the prom. The heat of his body seemed to seep into me, desire kindling. As our hips gently rocked in time with the music I could feel the reaction he was having at being pressed so close.
It was a dream, but I hadn't realized it yet. I was caught up in the moment, part memory, part imagination. He had brought me to a kinky party where all the rich people used aliases-my BDSM debutante ball!-where we had s.e.x for the first time. I had coerced his name out of him, though, the price for getting between my legs. To James it must have been like his fairy-tale princess turned into the troll under the bridge.
But in my dream world that hadn't happened yet. Everything was still storybook perfect.
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