Part 5 (1/2)
”Are we going upstairs soon?” I whispered into his ear.
”Why would we do that, sweetness?” he murmured back, sliding his hands down my rump to press me against the iron of his erection.
”I thought we came here to have s.e.x for the first time.”
”Everything we do is s.e.x, sweetness,” he chided.
”You know what I mean. What you've been building me up to all this time.”
”I know.” He spun us in a circle, making me slightly dizzy. ”But we don't have to go upstairs for that.”
He lifted me up so that I was straddling him, my legs locked behind his back. In real life the ball gown would have made that impossible. In the dream, though, it magically parted so that my p.u.s.s.y was rubbing his fly... then his c.o.c.k. I held tight around his neck while he ground against me, the length of him growing slick from my juices and running up and down over my c.l.i.t.
I knew we were on a dance floor with tons of other people. I knew that didn't matter. I wiggled, trying to get him inside me. That only made him tease me more, backing his hips off and pressing my c.l.i.t with short thrusts of the tip.
”Put it in. Put it in!” I demanded.
”Hush. Who's in charge here?”
”Please put it in,” I tried.
”Nice try, but that's not the magic word.”
I racked my brain, trying to think of what the magic word could be. Sorry? No. I had nothing to apologize for. f.u.c.k? Doubtful. Wait. I had an idea. This had to be it. I kissed him first while I worked up the nerve to say it.
”I love you.”
That was it. He thrust inside me, searing me with the sudden intrusion and burst of ecstasy that filled me as he drove all the way in. I clung to him, squeezing him inside and out, unable to speak, barely able to breathe from the bliss and pleasure and intensity of it all. And relief, a huge sense of relief that we were together again...
That was when it hit me that it was a dream and the relief was fake. We weren't together. This wasn't happening.
I woke with a start to a rumble of summer thunder and the sound of water pouring off the roof as the rain overwhelmed the gutters. One of my hands was in my panties. Despite the strangeness of the dream, I was as wet as the weather. The clock read three a.m., and I guessed Jill had let me sleep through dinner.
A brilliant flash lit up the pull shade in the window, followed by a closer crack of thunder, and I slid my fingers into myself with a stifled moan. My only chance to get back to sleep and get onto a regular schedule was to hope that if I came, I'd drift off again. The rain pelted down outside and I let my fingers slide back and forth as I rocked my hips, unable to stop myself from imagining James watching, whispering to me, teasing me... and telling me to come.
I woke in the morning to a frantic e-mail from Becky, wanting to know what was going on. I ended up calling her and trying to bring her up to date on my mother, her skeevy boyfriend, and James, but I had to cut it short when Jill was ready to leave for the hospital.
We had a brief meeting with Dr. Mukherjee who had already examined Mom, and then got drilled on home care instructions by the staff. They seemed most concerned that we not let her do too much walking on her tender ankle, and told us how to keep the wrist splint dry while she bathed. I was more concerned with the warning signs to look for in case something more serious developed with the blow to her head. Fortunately, they'd already scheduled a follow-up appointment with Dr. Mukherjee for that. Now, if only I could be sure, with her memory problems, that she would remember to go.
We went into the room to find Mom had gotten dressed in clothes Jill had brought yesterday. She was out of bed and sitting in a chair, ready to go. When we came in, she hopped to her feet. ”Karina! I'm so glad you're still here.” She kissed my cheek, then looked past me at Jill. ”Jill. Have you been taking care of your little sister?”
Jill looked surprised; this was the first time in days our mother had addressed her by name. ”Of course I have.”
Mom reached up and rubbed Jill's hair. ”A shame they had to cut your hair so short, though, when you fell and hit your head.”
Jill and I looked at each other.
”Doctors have to do that sometimes,” Jill said carefully. ”But hair grows back.”
”I know it does.” Mom's hand fluttered by her own ear, and she forced it down. ”It just takes time.”
Jill nodded, poker-faced. ”I kind of like my hair this way, though, Mom. I think I'll keep it.”
”Really? Well, to each her own. Come on, now, girls. Let's get moving.”
The nurses were there with a wheelchair. Mom said that she could walk, but they insisted that leaving the hospital by wheelchair was how it was done. My mother, never wanting to seem like she was bucking tradition, relented and sat in the wheelchair.
I pushed it down the hall myself. Now I could see Mom had a large shorn patch of hair on the back of her head where they put in st.i.tches after her fall.
Jill drove, Mom sat in the pa.s.senger seat, and I rode in back. Mom put on the radio and hummed along with the song that came on. At least she was cheerful, I thought. She was easier to deal with, though being cheerful didn't make her any less critical or judgmental.
”Oh, look at that ugly new building,” she said, as we pa.s.sed what might have been new construction. I couldn't tell. ”Why the city felt the need to put that monstrosity in, I'm sure I'll never know.” Once she got going, her monologue turned into a steady stream of judgments about the way people kept their lawns, the clothes they were wearing, the cars they drove. I hadn't sat in a car with my mother in a long time, and hearing it this time shocked me a little. This was normal, I realized. Whenever she drove us anywhere-school, the store, dance lessons-she had kept up a running commentary. Once upon a time I'd been so used to it I could tune it out, but I no longer had that immunity.
A Lord Lightning song came on the radio and I braced myself for her to say something cutting about it. But she didn't seem to notice the music now and was more interested in telling us about the landscaping the Rosemonts were doing to their property and how scandalously expensive it was. ”A thousand dollars for that sad little tree in the front alone! Couldn't you find something better to do with a thousand dollars? Goodness. Give it to a charity if all you're going to get out of it is a pathetic thing like that.”
”I'm sure they're hoping it'll grow up to be a beautiful tree someday,” Jill murmured.
”The Ugly Duckling of trees?” Mom sniffed. ”I suppose it could happen, but I won't hold my breath.”
When we drove past the house, I could see what she meant about the tree, though. Did that mean her memories were up to date now? Once we were inside the house, Jill put the central AC on and the three of us made lunch. After we ate, we sat down in the living room to talk.
”Mom,” Jill began, ”you know you had a fall and hit your head, right?”
”Oh, I know. They told me at the hospital. But I'm fine now, dear. How are you doing?”
Jill sighed, defeated. ”Look, Mom, there's one thing we haven't talked about yet, and I want to make sure we do before I head back to the city.”
”What's that, dear?”
”We're concerned that your boyfriend may have stolen from you.”
Mom sat very still for a moment, then merely said, ”Oh?”
She doesn't even remember him, I thought.
Jill plowed ahead. ”Yes. In fact, we're concerned he might have been the one who pushed you down the stairs in the first place.”
”That would have been absolutely terrible!” Mom put a hand to her cheek.
”Yes, it would. The fact that you can't remember anything about the fall, well, that's one reason we're worried.” Jill must have been thinking the same thing I was. ”Mom, do you remember your boyfriend?”
”Oh, of course I do. I could never forget someone I cared about,” she said, but something about the prissy way she said it made me think she was bluffing.
”Do you remember his name?” I asked.
She looked at me, then at Jill, then back at me. ”Names are very important, Karina, honey. People make judgments based on names.”
”I'll take that as a 'no' then?” Jill said. ”It doesn't matter anyway, Mom. We think the name he gave you was a false one anyway.”
”Really!” Mom looked and sounded scandalized.