Part 20 (2/2)
”No.”
Jill didn't like what she was thinking. Even if Neil wasn't a suspect, he could be in danger, too, if he and William had been involved in anything crooked. Either way, Abby could be in danger if she was with him.
”Jill-” Victoria hesitated.
”What?”
”I'm worried she could do something to herself, if you know what I mean.”
”No. What do you mean?”
”I mean, like, suicide.”
”Don't be silly. She'd never do anything like that.”
Victoria fell silent a moment. ”She already has. She tried it once, before.”
Jill thought she'd heard Victoria wrong. ”What?”
”Abby tried to kill herself, before.”
”No!” Jill cried out, reeling. ”When? How?”
”A while ago, about three months after we left the house. I was at school, and she called me and told me that she and Dad had a big fight.” Victoria hesitated. ”She was telling him that you guys should get back together. He said no, that the marriage was really over, and never to answer your emails. The next day, she tried to, you know, commit suicide.”
Jill's heart broke. ”How?”
”Pills. She took the whole bottle.”
”What pills?”
”Lexapro. She was on it, for depression. She still is, that's why she shouldn't drink.”
Jill didn't have to ask when Abby's depression had started, because she could guess.
”I found her. Dad had left that morning on business. I stopped home, just by chance. I thought she was taking a nap, but she wouldn't wake up. If I hadn't come by, she'd be ... gone.”
Jill visualized the scene, horrified. After a bottle of Lexapro, Abby would be almost comatose. It wasn't a suicidal gesture, it was a bona-fide attempt.
”That's why I've been so mad at you.” Victoria's tone softened, just a little. ”I blamed you for her trying to kill herself, and deciding to be a screw-up, the rest of her life. If you hadn't left, she'd be fine, and I wouldn't have to act like her mom all the time.”
Jill listened, and her head dropped into her hands. She never would have believed Abby would do anything like that. Abby's pain must have been so deep, like an agony.
”So that's what's worrying me, now. I try not to worry about her, and I don't want to worry about her, but I do, all the time, like if she does it again, it'll be my fault...” Victoria's sentence trailed off.
”I'm so sorry, Victoria.” Jill's head was still in her hands, and she let all of her regret and anguish flow. ”I'm so sorry for what happened to Abby, and for what you had to deal with. I never wanted it to be-”
”Whatever,” Victoria interrupted, cool again. ”You see the problem now. I'm not worried about somebody hurting Abby. I'm worried about Abby hurting Abby. That's why we need to find her, fast.”
”Okay, right.” Jill rubbed her face, straightening up. She willed her emotions under control. ”I know what to do. I need to go back to the police and light a fire under them. It's been another whole day, she's still missing, and they should know all the facts, especially this one.”
”No, I'll go instead. I can do it. It's my place.”
”Can we go together?” Jill asked, hopeful. ”I've been there before, and they know me. I can meet you there, it's Central Detectives, on 21st Street.”
”No, I'd prefer it if you didn't go. I'll go with Brian.” Victoria's tone was final, and Jill could feel her maintaining the wall between them.
”Why don't we just go together?”
”Jill, you have to respect what I'm saying. Can't you do that, please?”
”Okay, fine, if that's what you want.” Jill surrendered, tired of fighting and getting nowhere. ”Ask for Detective Reed. He's the one who handled the investigation of your father's death. Detective Pitkowski is the one I spoke with, because Reed wasn't there.”
”Got it.”
”Please call me and let me know how it went?”
”If I have time. I have a brief due, for legal writing.”
Jill bit her tongue. ”Please let me know if Abby calls you then, okay?”
”That, I'll do.”
”I think I'll go up to Manhattan tomorrow and stop by Neil's apartment, to see if they'll tell me anything they wouldn't tell you.”
”Okay, whatever. Knock yourself out.”
”Thanks, bye. Love you,” Jill said automatically, hearing herself end the call the way she always used to, with Victoria.
Love you.
”Babe, you okay?” Sam asked, from the threshold of the kitchen.
Jill pressed END. She didn't know if Victoria heard her, or how long Sam had been standing there.
And she didn't like the look in his eye.
Chapter Thirty-one.
”Did you say that Abby tried to commit suicide?” Sam asked, quietly.
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