Part 65 (1/2)
”Very hard to say. One isn't behind the scenes. But I'm inclined to think I do. Oh, ecstasies aren't for this world, you know--not permanent ecstasies. You might as well have permanent hysterics! And, as you're aware, there are no marriages in heaven. So perhaps there's no heaven in marriages either. That would seem to be plausible reasoning, wouldn't it? But they'll be all right; they'll learn one another's paces.”
”I can't help wis.h.i.+ng she seemed more in love.”
”Perhaps she will be when she flirts with somebody else. Don't frown!
I'm not a pessimist. If I don't always look for happiness by the ordinary roads, I often discern it along quite unexpected routes.”
”It's pleasant to see people start by being in love.”
”How eternally sentimental we are! Well, yes, it is. But capacities differ. I daresay she doesn't know she's deficient, and she certainly won't imagine that her mother has given her away.”
”I suppose I deserve that, but I had to talk to somebody. And really it's best to choose a man; sometimes it stops there then.”
”Why not your husband? No? Ah, he has too many opportunities of reminding you of the indiscretion! You were quite right to talk to me.
We shall look on at what happens with all the greater interest because we've discussed it. And, as I've said, I'm decidedly hopeful.”
”We might have developed her affections when she was a child. I'm sure we might.”
”Oh, I shall go! You send for a clergyman!”
Mrs. Selford shook her head sadly, even while she smiled. She could not be beguiled from her idea, nor from the remorse that it brought. The pictures, the dogs, and sentimental squabbling with her husband had figured too largely in the household; she connected with this fact the disposition which she found in Anna.
”Being a bit hard isn't a bad thing for your happiness,” Caylesham added as a last consolation.
Anna herself came in. No consciousness of deficiency seemed to afflict her; she felt no need of a development of her affections or of being more in love with Walter Blake. On the contrary she exhibited to Caylesham's shrewd eyes a remarkable picture of efficiency and of contentment. She had known what she wanted, she had discerned what means to use in order to get it, and she had achieved it. A perfect self-confidence a.s.sured her that she would be successful in dealing with it; her serene air, her trim figure and decisive movements gave the impression that here at least was a mortal who, if she did not deserve success, could command it. Caylesham looked on her with admiration--rather that than liking--as he acknowledged her very considerable qualities. The thing which was wanting was what in a picture he would have called ”atmosphere.” But here again her luck came in, or, rather, her clear vision; it was not fair to call it luck. The man she had pitched upon--that was fair, and Caylesham declined to withdraw the expression--at the time when she pitched upon him, was in a panic about ”atmosphere.” He had found too much of it elsewhere, and was uneasy about it in himself. He was not asking for softness, for tenderness, for ready accessibility to emotion or to waves of feeling.
Her cleverness had turned to account even the drawback which made Caylesham, in the midst of his commendation, conscious that he would not choose to be her husband--or perhaps her son either.
”You'll make a splendid head of the family,” he told her cheerfully.
”You'll keep them all in most excellent order.”
She chose to consider that he had exercised a bad influence over Walter Blake, and treated him distantly. Caylesham supported the entire injustice of her implied charge with good-humour.
”You're not fond of excellent order, I suppose?” she asked.
”In others,” said he, smiling. ”May I come and see it in your house sometimes? I promise not to disturb it.”
”I don't think you could.”
”She taunts me with my advancing years,” he complained to Mrs. Selford.
Anna's disapproval of him was marked; it increased his amus.e.m.e.nt at the life which lay before Walter Blake. Blake would want to disturb excellent order sometimes; he would be indulged in that proclivity to a strictly limited extent. If Grantley Imason were a revengeful man, this marriage ought to cause him a great deal of pleasure. Caylesham, while compelled to approve by his reason, could not help deploring in his heart. He saw arising an ultra-British household, clad in the very buckram of propriety. Who could say that morality did not reign in the world when such a nemesis as this awaited Walter Blake, or that morality had not a humour of its own when Walter Blake accepted the nemesis with enthusiasm? Yet the state of things was not unusual--a fair sample of a bulk of considerable size. Caylesham went away smiling at it, wondering at it, in the depths of his soul a trifle appalled at it. It seemed to him rather inhuman; but perhaps his idea of humanity had gone a trifle far in the opposite direction.
And, after all, could not Walter Blake supply the other element? There was plenty of softness about him, and the waves of feeling were by no means wanting in frequency or volume. Considering this question, Caylesham professed himself rather at a loss. He would have to wait and look on. But would he hear or see much? Anna had evidently put him under a ban, and he believed that her edicts would obtain obedience in the future. So far as he could see now, he had a vision of the waves stilled to rest, of the gleam of frost forming upon them, of an ice-bound sea.
Now he felt it in his heart to be sorry for young Blake. Not because there was any injustice. The nemesis was eminently, and even ludicrously, just. He felt sorry precisely because it was so just. He was always sorry for sinners who had to pay the penalty of their deeds; then a fellow-feeling went out to them. Of course they were fools to grumble. The one wisdom he claimed for himself was not grumbling at the bill.
He paid another visit that day, under an impulse of friendliness, and perhaps of curiosity too. He went to Tom Courtland's, and found himself repaid for his trouble by Tom's cordiality of greeting. The Courtland family was in the turmoil of moving; they had to go to a much smaller house, and to reduce the establishment greatly. But the worries of a move and the prospect of comparative poverty--there was very little left besides Harriet's moderate dowry--were accepted by Tom very cheerfully, and by the children with glee; they were delighted to be told that there would be no more menservants and fewer maids, and that they would have to learn to s.h.i.+ft for themselves as much and as soon as possible. They were glad to be rid of ”this great gloomy house,” over which the shadow of calamity still brooded.
”The children don't like to pa.s.s Lady Harriet's door at night,” Suzette whispered in an aside to Caylesham.
Tom himself seemed younger and more sprightly; and he was the slave of his little girls. His grey hair, the lines on his face, and the enduring scar on Sophy's brow spoke of the sorrow which had been; but the sorrow had given place to peace--and it might be that some day peace would turn to joy. For there was much youth there, and, where youth is, joy must come, if only it be given a fair chance.