Part 15 (2/2)
After tea I met Mrs. J.'s cla.s.s. The Lord was with us; several were in tears, conscious of their distance from G.o.d. The Lord a.s.sisted me in speaking to them, and blessed my own soul.--Death is common. The cholera prevails. May this awful visitation be sanctified to us! I was sent for to see Mrs. P.; she expressed her confidence in G.o.d, and this morning died of cholera.--I felt impressed to visit the adjoining neighbours, and having bowed before the Lord, to ask his blessing and help, I went; and, as the Lord enabled me, conversed and prayed with two families. In one of them, the wife, who is much afflicted, pressed me to go again, and her husband seconded the request.--Several circ.u.mstances which have occurred in our Society, painful in themselves, have turned out to my benefit, destroying my dependance on man, and pointing me to the Rock which is higher than I. In an unexpected trial I was divinely supported. I went to see ----, and there I met with his friend, to whom I spoke plainly; my heart was pained.--Instead of going to the house of G.o.d, I was painfully exercised at home.”
Opprest, I lift my heart to Thee, Thou soother of my care; Oh! let Thy ear attentive be, To this my heartfelt prayer.
Thou seest my heart's desire, to live Obedient to Thy will; Help me, to Thee, my all to give, With love my bosom fill.
”Whate'er in me is wrong remove, Whate'er is dark illume; Search, try, and purge me, but in love, Lest Thou Thy dust consume.
To Thee is all my sorrow known, No secret would I hide; The enemy his tares hath sown, Oh! let him not divide.
Thou only canst my burden move, The woful breach repair; Oh! send us succour from above, And hear my instant prayer.
”I am resolved, through grace, to seek a closer walk with G.o.d, and sweeter communion by the Holy Ghost. I want constancy, and more faith.
I am convinced of my cowardice in not confessing the sanctifying grace of G.o.d which I enjoy; and thus insensibly lose sight of it. I desire continually to be led by the Spirit. I went to converse with a neighbour about having family-prayer. The mother is an old Methodist. Saw another person, who is a widow, and in trouble; both heart-touching visits.--In visiting, I met with the son of one of my members, whom I requested to read six verses of scripture every day; got the whole family together, and prayed with them. There was considerable feeling among them.--I am now entered upon the last hour of this eventful year, in which thousands have been swept away by cholera, and many by sudden death; but it has not come nigh me. I began it with the fixed purpose of living to G.o.d; but Thou, Lord, knowest how often and wherein I have failed. I feel I can plead nothing but the blood of atonement, to which I come; I want stronger faith, and more love. The unhappy divisions in our Connexion have rather done me good; for I feel a hungering after Bible Christianity, and more of that love which 'never faileth,' and which 'thinketh no evil.'”
XX.
THE STORM.
”THE LORD HATH HIS WAY IN THE WHIRLWIND AND THE STORM, AND THE CLOUDS ARE THE DUST OF HIS FEET.” Nahum i. 3.
The storm, that spreads ruin and devastation in its path, is no less a proof of a wise and overruling Providence than the gentler phenomena of nature, which, with such constant and unvarying regularity, refresh and bless the earth. It cleanses the atmosphere, and sweeps away the poisonous miasmata, which have been engendered during a period of quiescence, and which must, if not removed, prove prejudicial to human life. A similar effect is exerted by those painful dissensions which too often arise in religious communities. G.o.d permits them for the purification of His church. What is useless or injurious is swept away; what is good is confirmed; and if unhappily many, that are weak, are injured, it is because they do not seek shelter in Him, who is a hiding-place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest. During the fierce agitation, which swept as a whirlwind over the Methodist societies in 1849 and 1850, Mrs. Lyth never lost sight of the great purpose of life. She stood faithful and unmoved at her post; and meddled no further with matters of strife than positive duty required.
The questions which many loved to discuss, and thought themselves quite competent to settle, were never willingly the topic of her conversation. They were the subjects of her prayers. She retired to her closet; she wept in secret over the breaches of Zion; she sought her refuge from the surrounding excitement in the secret place of the Most High, and hence that, which in itself was a serious evil, became to her a source of personal benefit. Happy would it have been for many, who needlessly exposed themselves to the fury of the storm, if they had been like minded.
”1850.--Several perplexing circ.u.mstances have conspired to disturb the quiet of my mind, however, they could only ruffle the surface. Through Christ, I enjoy settled peace.--In the course of discussion in the Leaders' Meeting I was given to see the amiableness of the meekness of wisdom, which was exhibited by one of our leaders. I came home praying for more of it, feeling greater love for the Lord's people, and thankful that I am united with them. O what a privilege!--Twenty-seven years since my dear father entered into rest; and I am yet alive, to see and hear of more discord among the professed followers of Jesus than ever I saw. Nevertheless, the 'Word of G.o.d is sure, the Lord knoweth them that are His.' I praise G.o.d my heart is fixed, let others do as they may; yet it is painful to me to see them leaving the people of G.o.d. 'I know in whom I have believed,' and in Jesus I have peace.
”Copy of a letter written to a member, late of my cla.s.s:--
”MY DEAR MRS. ----, My heart yearns over you; and, having been your Leader, I feel a responsibility resting upon me, of which I cannot acquit myself, without warning you of the danger, to which you are exposing your own soul, by giving place to a spirit not of love.
”You have been offended; go to the offender, that the breach may be healed; do not make the rent wider. Read carefully and with prayer, our Saviour's directions in Matt. 18th; and submit yourself at the feet of Jesus, who has said, 'Learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart.'
”O my dear friend, an enemy has gained an advantage over you; and on cool reflection you will have cause to mourn.
Suffer not this evil to rankle in your breast; but go directly to Jesus for power to forgive, that you may be forgiven.
”My love for your eternal welfare, prompts me thus to write to you, and I remain,
”Your sincere friend, &c.”
”My husband is gone to New Street Chapel, the Trustees having been summoned on the 'Delegate' affair. The Lord reigneth.--The past has been a week of painful disunion and insubordination in oar Society.
Alas! Yet, through mercy, my peace of mind continues. My resolve to live for Him, who gave himself for me, is more firmly fixed than ever.
While sitting under the word, my mind was impressed to go and speak with M.R.; I scarcely indulged the thought, but when I returned home, it still pursued me. I took it to the Lord, and asked for wisdom, courage, and a plain path; and then set forth. My path was made plain, courage was given, and the spirit of meekness and love rested upon me. The word of admonition was kindly received; may it be as a nail fastened by the Master of a.s.semblies.--The adjourned Missionary Meeting was held in the Centenary Chapel, and concluded the annual services. The collection was nearly 10 in excess of last year.
Messrs. E. and G. were present. Three cheers, accompanied by the waving of hats, &c., were given by certain persons for the 'expelled.'
The like I never saw before, nor ever wish to see again.--My son preached in New Street. In his first prayer he was much drawn out. The divine power reached my heart. I felt it truly precious, glory be to G.o.d, who in mercy has called my children to spread the savour of his grace. O that the prayer I have often presented for this son, may be answered, that he may be blessed to thousands who may sit under his ministry.--Collected for the Missions. Several refused to give; but a widow increased her subscription from two to ten s.h.i.+llings.
”Harrogate.--A pleasant walk alone; my meditations were sweet.
Endeavoured to induce a few to go to the Prayer-meeting, but only prevailed upon four. Called on Mrs. B. Our conversation turned upon the present unhappy divisions. How much are we in danger of getting wrong! O Lord, let me be guided by Thy Spirit, and if I err put me right. In family prayer I was drawn out for each by name. After retiring to rest my little grandson David got up, and came to my bedside to ask me to pray for him. May the Lord make him a man after his own heart; and, if he live, a preacher of righteousness. I dreamt I was taking a long journey, and felt the rolling of rough waters under me, but was fearless. When I awoke, this stanza was on my lips,
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