Part 12 (1/2)
Ten minutes past midnight.--To put me in remembrance,--my two friends at a quarter before two every day. My one friend at three every Wednesday.”
”1836. Awoke with, 'Reckon yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto G.o.d;' and 'Be ye not of a doubtful mind.' I feel resolved henceforth, thus 'to reckon.' I have been too long dying--not dead, and dishonouring G.o.d by 'a doubtful mind.' I now enjoy peace, with a firm determination to keep His commandments, which are not grievous; but I feel my weakness such, that I cannot trust myself. O my G.o.d, help me to keep my covenant vows!”
Look high, look low, look far and near, Changes in every scene appear; The blossom fades, the day is gone, And night succeeds the morning sun.
The clear blue firmament is seen.
But gath'ring clouds soon intervene; The sun, resplendent, hastes away, To give to other lands the day.
The vig'rous youth to manhood grown, Becomes a h.o.a.ry sire anon; The blooming maid becomes a bride, A loving consort by her side, The zenith point of earthly bliss,-- But ah! a changing scene is this: The fairest prospects earth can boast, Are poor, and transient at the most; And closest ties of friends.h.i.+p fail To stay the bliss, we smile to hail.
”After a fortnight's suffering, my dear little grandson, Edward, left our dark abode for everlasting day. Separation is painful, but the prospect of eternal happiness brings sweet consolation. A little before death he said, 'kneel down.' He was three years and ten months old--a child of much promise--but is now safely transplanted to nourish in a healthier clime.--Death strikes again--the infant, and only surviving child of my Eliza, has escaped to glory. Several other afflictive occurrences have been permitted, I am confident for my good: yet I have better health than usual, and the consolations of my G.o.d are not withheld. The Lord can make hard things easy, and mingle the bitter cup with sweetness. O that I could make better returns!--Thirty years ago, I gave myself to my husband with mingled feelings of hope and fear. The words, 'thy Maker is thy husband,' have been impressed upon my mind.”
Endearing t.i.tle! wilt Thou be A husband, O my G.o.d, to me?
Then, let me never grieve Thy love, Nor ever disobedient prove; Watchful Thy pleasure to obey, Thy precepts study night and day; Thy will at all times gladly do: _I will_. Lord help me to be true.
”Had all the preachers to breakfast with a friend or two beside,--hoping the hour might be spiritually improved. Singing and prayer were sweet, but I was disappointed in the conversation, which was turned by two individuals upon a point that profited little; one thing I learned, to expect profit in the creature is not right,--Tried to bring about, and by means of another, effected a reconciliation between two opposing parties.--'Who will this day consecrate his services to the Lord?' was a question put to me this morning before I awoke, and has been urged upon me since. Thank G.o.d, my heart responds--_I will_. As I was walking, musing, and praying, it was whispered to my soul, 'My G.o.d shall supply all your need.' It is enough.--Again privileged to hear the Rev. Robert Newton. I sat in my Father's banqueting-house with delight, and His banner over me was love.--Fifty-four years this day, I have proved the sustaining power of G.o.d; and forty-two or nearly so, have enjoyed His redeeming love. O what a debter am I! Here will I give myself away--'tis all I can do.”
This day of consecrated rest, Proclaim within my longing breast 'I am the Lord thy G.o.d;'
Here dwell and reign without control, Sole monarch of my willing soul, According to Thy word.
XVI.
THE SACRIFICE.
”I HAVE LENT HIM TO THE LORD; AS LONG AS HE LIVETH, SHALL HE BE LENT UNTO THE LORD.”--1 Sam. i. 28.
”Neither will I offer burnt-offerings to the Lord of that which cost me nothing,” said David, when he purchased the thres.h.i.+ng-floor, and the oxen of Araunah the Jebusite, that he might rear and altar, and offer sacrifices, and peace-offerings: and yet it was a n.o.bler act of sacrifice, when he poured out before the Lord the crystal draught which three of his mighty men had procured from the well that was by the gate of Bethlehem, at the peril of their lives, and for which he had so earnestly longed. In the one case he gave what he could well afford; in the other, he consecrated what his soul desired. The preciousness of the gift is to be estimated, not by its intrinsic value, but by the amount of sacrifice which it requires; hence, some who bring much, offer little, and some who give but little, offer much. Genuine love to G.o.d brings of its choicest and dearest, and the sacrifice is accepted accordingly. To give money as far as she had ability, was to Mrs. Lyth no sacrifice. Through life she practised a rigid economy, that she might have the more to employ for G.o.d; and during the last few years, when she had an ample income at her own disposal, after her few and extremely moderate wants were met, the whole was sacredly consecrated to public and private charities.
She saved nothing. Her estimate of the riches of this world may be collected from the following, communicated by a friend:--”She was much saved from the love of money. I called upon her one day for advice and sympathy, when I was in great trouble in consequence of a loss which I had sustained. She very affectionately encouraged me to bear up under the trial, and said, the Lord had some better thing in store for me;--that I must set my affections on things above, and then, to show that I was not alone, told me that a thousand pounds had been left to her mother by a deceased relative, which she had fully expected would revert to her, as it was the intention of the testatrix; but it proved to be a lapsed legacy. She added, 'The Lord so graciously sustained me, that the loss never deprived me of a single hour's sleep. He knows what is good for us, and If it had been His will, I should have had it.' Mr. Lyth, who was in company with us at the time, said, 'So you see my wife turns all to gold,' which it is well known she did. Oh! I wish I was like her.” But if she estimated worldly wealth only so far as it afforded her the pure gratification of doing good, and it was therefore no sacrifice to her to give of her earthly substance; she also gave that which cost her something. Her eldest son, Richard, whom she prized above gold, and all the more, because of the tears and solicitude which she had expended upon him as a sickly and delicate infant, was at the Conference of 1836 appointed to a distant and perilous sphere of missionary labour. This was a demand upon her feelings, which severely tested her love to Christ and His church; but the spirit in which she made the sacrifice, is best displayed by her own private record.
”1836. A letter from brother John Burdsall, who is at the Conference, informs me, that he had some conversation with Dr. Bunting respecting my Richard and the Friendly Islands. I feel as a mother, yet a.s.sured that G.o.d is alike in every place, my prayer is for resignation.--Oh!
the rapidity of time, conference has commenced and will, I suppose, appoint my Richard somewhere; only be it the place a.s.signed by Providence--my will submits, though nature would rebel.--My desires tend upward, but oh! my wayward heart still clings to the creature--my children lie near my heart. But, do I wish to withhold my son from Thee? no; my heart says no;--only let holiness be stamped upon his heart and character: send him where holiness will be the most earnestly sought, and will make the most powerful impression. My will does yield, but nature feels. The solicitude I feel for my children depresses my spirit: yet am comforted by the promises of G.o.d, and increasingly resolved to roll my every care at the foot of the Cross; where, like pilgrim, I often find the strings of my burden unloosed, and by faith beholding my unfailing Friend, am encouraged to believe the G.o.d who cares for _me_, will care for _mine_. In the face of my fears, O Lord, I trust in Thee. My Richard is appointed to the Friendly Islands.--The cases of my three sons press upon my spirit; but Thy aid, O Lord, I seek and ask and _have_.--It is the Sabbath morn. I am fully bent to give myself and my family to G.o.d. But now it is come to the point, how weak I feel! Well, but I will resign--Richard is Thine; I will through grace, give him up to Thee.
The time of his departure is at hand; tidings have reached us that he is expected to sail in the 'Royal George,' on the first of October.
O may He who sitteth above the water floods, and reigneth a King for ever, take charge of him; and so succeed his errand, that thousands may add l.u.s.tre to his crown!--At half-past six Miss B. and Mrs. A. met me, and Hannah S. who was seeking pardon. After we had pleaded for a time, the Lord came down in power, and she cried aloud, 'I can believe, I do believe.' We all shared the baptism. My dear family all took tea together, perhaps for the last time. Thank G.o.d, we are a united family, though we may separate wide from each other in our pilgrimage through the world.--While pouring out my soul for my dear Richard, I felt the hallowing power; I believe the Lord will be with him and the people also. Things very painful to nature are now my frequent lot; but through these, the Lord seeks to purge, and knit me closer to himself. Lord give me grace to bear the sacrificing knife, and let 'Thy will be done,'--Had a few friends to breakfast to commend my dear Richard to G.o.d: it was a profitable hour, but I should have liked more prayer.--My soul was much refreshed, especially in cla.s.s.
What a fulness is treasured up in Jesus: and yet I only sip. In visiting the sick, and seeking out the wanderers, feel I am right, but seem to have little time for this work.
”Apperly Bridge. My Richard's wedding-day. While the bridal couple went to church, I retired to plead a blessing on their union. On their return, I met them with lines which were on my mind--
'Blest in Christ your union be, Blest to all eternity.'
And so it will be, while they cleave to Jesus. After breakfast we proceeded to Leeds, where we dined, and took an affectionate leave of each other. I then retired with the female part of the company to commend them to G.o.d.” [Her parting counsels, which were inscribed in my brother's alb.u.m, were as follows:--]
”My dear son,--'Be strong through the grace, which is by Jesus Christ, and the things, which thou hast heard before many witnesses, commit to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also. Endure affliction as a good soldier of Jesus Christ, and the Lord give thee understanding in all things. G.o.d is my witness, how I long for you, that your love may abound more and more, in all knowledge and spiritual understanding; that you may try the things that are excellent; that you may be sincere, and without offence, unto the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are through Jesus Christ, to the praise and glory of G.o.d. And when the Chief Shepherd shall appear, you shall receive the crown of glory which fadeth not away.' This is the earnest prayer of your truly affectionate mother.”
”Mr. Burrows came, and talked sweetly to me of my privilege as a christian in giving all to G.o.d, and prayed with us; else, during this week sorrow and joy have mingled in my breast, but now I feel to rise.--Mrs. R. having agreed to meet with me to intercede for my dear Richard and Mary Ann, I went up accompanied by Mrs. W.--the Lord blessed us together.--I feel encouraged.--A very stormy morning. This led me to my knees, to pour out my soul for my son and daughter: O keep them in the hollow of Thy hands! William has not yet returned from seeing Richard off; I want to hear and know--yet am encouraged to hope all will be well.--Days of suspense--but the thought, 'all is well,' encouraged me; this was realised, when William returned in the afternoon. 'Bless the Lord, O my soul,' and praise His adorable name. My dear Richard sent me a letter, written when sailing down the Thames, in which he says, 'The Lord is with us, we will not fear.'
”Sinnington. After the morning prayer-meeting, I called upon several of the villagers, who kindly welcomed our visit. Prayed with every family but one, and in each case felt the softening power. Spoke plainly with Mr. B. respecting the alienation existing between him and ----. O that they would seriously resolve!--A very stormy day, but braving the blast, I visited two or three friends, to have a last interview with them; in one case to invite a person to join the people of G.o.d; in another, to urge the necessity of family-prayer; a third was a young person apparently in dying circ.u.mstances, and a fourth was a quaker friend, whose disinterested friends.h.i.+p endears her to me.--Visited the Lady Mayoress at the Mansion House, and felt quite at ease. Had an opportunity of dropping a word in her ear, which she seemed to receive kindly.”
The noontide hour is wont to be A blessed means of grace to me; When met, the hallowing power to share, In the sweet intercourse of prayer.
”Was drawn out in prayer for myself and others until a late hour, and was much blest. After I had retired and had been asleep, I awoke with these lines:
'Soft and easy is Thy pillow, Coa.r.s.e and hard the Saviour lay; Since His birthplace was a stable, And His softest bed was hay.'