Part 11 (1/2)

So gloom and sadness shall retreat, And peace and joy return; For while you sit at Jesus' feet, Your heart with love will burn.

”Saw a letter from dear little John, informing his sister that he, with others of his school-fellows, has entered the Methodist Society.

He is just about the same age I was, when I received my first ticket; and from connexion with this people my name has never been erased, though hundreds of times I have not deserved the privilege of members.h.i.+p; but the people have borne with me, and more than this, G.o.d has borne with me, even till now. Glory be to G.o.d for ever!--Some struggle through life, and through successive years, are tossed on stormy seas; others more calmly pa.s.s their appointed time; but such as die in infancy, fly as a bird to its rest, and are privileged with an early entrance into glory. So happy was James R., who careless of all below, smiled, and bid the world adieu.--Had an interview with Mrs.

B.A. We found it good to be at the feet of Jesus. I told her that I thought of resigning my Sabbath cla.s.s, that I might turn my attention more fully to the village. We agreed to bring it before the Lord for a fortnight, to ask his direction.--I have written eight copies of Mr. Stoner's 'Rules for Prayer-Meetings.' and given them to our prayer-leaders. At the time of distribution, a circ.u.mstance occurred, which, though distinct from them, yet happening at the same time, will possibly be connected with them in my future recollections, and occasion mingled feelings.--Delivered my Sabbath cla.s.s-book to Mrs.

A., who, in connexion with Mrs. C., has kindly relieved me, for the present, of a responsibility, which, under existing circ.u.mstances, I feel it right to decline.

”Acomb.--Accompanied Mrs. E----n to see several of the friends, who were sick. Called upon Mr. M., whose housekeeper died suddenly the night I came; he seemed pleased with, our visit, and promised to join the people of G.o.d. Lord, help him to perform his promise, by taking possession of his heart.--I got to the morning prayer-meeting, and was unusually drawn out in prayer as I went, that the Lord would he with us and bless us; and not in vain. It was a blessed season, and I believe others felt it also. O that the Spirit from on high may be poured out, that Satan's kingdom may have a mighty shake this Whitsuntide!--I felt it my duty to call upon a neighbour or two, who, as I am informed, think themselves insulted by some, who wished faithfully to discharge their duty, in a matter of church discipline.

I went in the character of a peacemaker, and after conversing with them on the necessity of seeking a higher state of feeling, we prayed together, and felt liberty. O that in good earnest, they may begin to seek the Lord! I told them that, in my poor way, I should remember them. Lord, lay them upon my heart, that I may not forget. To-night my soul is truly happy in G.o.d. I feel much drawn out in prayer that Satan's kingdom may fall, and the religion of Jesus prevail in this village.--I felt it unusually sweet to bow before the Lord in secret, and bear up my neighbours at His throne, I felt

'The speechless awe that dares not move, And all the silent heaven of love.'

”My best seasons have been in retirement. Called upon some of my sick neighbours, and aimed to please G.o.d in all my visits. O Lord, follow with Thy blessing my weak efforts! Quicken the lukewarm, and pardon the guilty. I was glad to see some new faces at the evening preaching.--Met with my friends in band, and proposed meeting every day at two clock, to entreat the Lord to deepen His work in our souls; and especially, to hear us on behalf of our friends.--My soul was blessed, while bowed before the Lord with my little John. Surely the Spirit of prayer was poured upon us.--Went to J.S. to tell him of his faults, which, I am sorry to find by his own confession, supply just ground for censure, though exaggerated by report. Yet I did not feel that sweet Christian pity, which I have felt to others in similar circ.u.mstances. O for that yearning charity, that endeavours to draw out of Satan's snare the souls entangled by him!--Called to see my much esteemed friend, Miss C., who is sinking through decay of nature.

She says, 'I look for the accomplishment of the promise _now_;'

and speaking of the Lord's Supper, she said, 'I do not think any particular preparation is necessary; because, if we do not always live ready to communicate, we are not living as we ought.' When prayer was proposed, she said, 'Pray that I may have increase of faith, patience, and resignation.'--I addressed a note to Richard on the subject of salvation, and placed it where he might find it accidentally. Asked Mrs. R. to let me have a prayer-meeting in her house on Sabbath afternoon; she readily consented. O that G.o.d would meet us there!--With a feeble body, I set forward to the prayer-meeting; inviting as I went some, who seldom attend. Met with one whom I had never seen before, who seems desirous of salvation, and was glad to accompany me. There the Lord met with us. One soul was made truly happy, and another rejoiced in the Lord, having received good the week before. It was indeed a blessed season; but my poor body was pressed down with pain, which rendered it necessary for me to lie in bed till Monday evening.--The two who have lately found peace, came to our house; we conversed, prayed with them, read the rules, and gave them each a copy. O bless my feeble efforts!--In answer to prayer, I awoke at five o'clock and arose, and though my body is weak, my spirit is alive.--I am this day going to attempt the formation of a new cla.s.s, having secured a place in the village to meet in. I leave the result with the Lord, who knows my heart, and the hearts of the people. Empty me of self, and if Thou canst, use me for Thy glory, and give me a proof that I am not going a warfare at my own charge. Visiting some of the villagers, I felt that I was on the Lord's errand, and think I lost sight of self. O might it never more steal in! At half-past three, I went to friends R., who have kindly offered a room to meet in, and have also given in their names to meet with us. The two young women, who have lately witnessed a good confession, also joined with us, making four in all. O write each name in heaven!--This evening thirty new members were admitted on trial. What a privilege to be numbered with G.o.d's people! But when I remember that the Lord is a wall of fire round about them, I wonder that I am not more in earnest.--I found the throne easy of access. I believe the influence in our little meeting was general. What enjoyment has the world to equal communion with G.o.d?--Increased communion with G.o.d. I was at the prayer-meeting in the morning, and afterwards called upon several persons, to whom I endeavoured to speak faithfully; but who regards it? Lord, I leave my feeble efforts with Thee. I write, and why?

because the review of G.o.d's mercies proves a stimulus; and often, while committing to paper the Lord's dealings with me, His love flames brighter on my heart.”

ALL SHALL BE WELL.

If Jesus be with me, when sorrows a.s.sail, And floods of affliction against me prevail; His countenance lifted, my pa.s.sions shall still, And all shall be well, while I suffer His will.

If crosses perplex me, and perils surround, Repose in my Saviour, my foes shall confound; No weapon shall prosper, or cause me to fear, But all shall be well, while His presence is here.

I repaired to Mrs. R.'s to meet the dear people; every part of my way seemed doubtful, but the Lord was graciously with me. We were eight a.s.sembled, and a blessed influence rested on us. Some were earnestly seeking pardon.--Had a deeply interesting interview with Mrs. B., who is depressed on account of worldly circ.u.mstances, and wants confidence in Him, who has commanded us to cast 'all our care upon Him.' I felt a spirit of sympathy, and the Lord poured upon us the spirit of prayer; our hearts melted, and our months were filled with arguments.--Prayer has been very sweet to me; I have increased power to rest upon the promises, and through Christ to claim them. Yet in myself, I discover such a depth of vileness, that, when I think of the amazing love of G.o.d to me, my soul is humbled and adores. Tears of grat.i.tude overflow my eyes, that G.o.d--the G.o.d of G.o.ds, should condescend to such a worm as I.--By a letter from my Richard to his father, I am encouraged to believe the Lord is again working upon his mind. It caused tears of joy to run down my cheeks, and on our knees we united together to thank the Lord. May the good be permanent.--At my own bedside the spirit of prayer was so abundantly given, that I could scarcely cease pleading for my children, _especially Richard_,--I welcome the return of the Sabbath. Nature, even at this advanced season of the year, exhibits an unusual degree of verdure; and invites me to adore the Ruler of times and seasons, who confers such rich and ceaseless blessings on rebellious man,--even upon me, the most undeserving; for by divine light I see that everything I do is defective; yet, by simply venturing upon Christ in prayer and faith, I receive peace and power. I have received a very pleasing communication from _Richard_, describing the anguish of mind through which he has pa.s.sed on account of sin; and informing me, that he has come to the cross and obtained deliverance through believing. He says, 'Whereas I was once blind, now I see.' On this account my soul rejoices. 'O for a heart to praise my G.o.d.' Our removal to York is now fixed to take place in three months (G.o.d willing). So uncertain is everything upon earth. Fix Thou the bounds of our habitation, and encamp round about our abode, and all shall be well.

XV.

THE RETURN.

”TO SEE THY POWER AND THY GLORY, SO AS I HAVE SEEN THEE IN THE SANCTUARY.”--Psalm lxiii. 2.

Of all deprivations, none is so great, or as painfully felt by a truly devout soul, as the loss of religious ordinances. With what deep pathos does the Psalmist lament his long exile from the scene of solemn rites and holy sacrifice!

'How amiable are Thy tabernacles, O Lord of Hosts!

My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth For the courts of the Lord; My heart and my flesh crieth out For the living G.o.d.'

He envies the birds of the air, that free and unfettered, build their nests hard by the temple of his G.o.d, while he, a banished man, must seek a refuge in the wilderness.

'Yea the sparrow hath found an house, And the swallow a nest for herself, Where she may lay her young; Even thine altars, O Lord of Hosts, My King and my G.o.d.'

Mrs. Lyth loved the habitation of the Lord's house, and deprecated the prospect of separation from its privileges, which was rendered extremely probable by her increasing weakness. Eastfield House was about a mile from the village, and between three and four from York.

In case of decided failure of health, she would not only have been cut off from active usefulness in which she delighted, but entirely excluded from christian ordinances. With the view of a little relief, she had already relinquished one of her cla.s.ses in the city, and turned her attention more exclusively to the village; but now there was every likelihood that she must soon give up the other. These circ.u.mstances, with some others of less moment, determined the propriety of a removal back to York. Shortly before this took place, in one of her walks thither, for the purpose of meeting her cla.s.s, a circ.u.mstance transpired which is worth relating. She met on the road an odd old man, whose extraordinary appearance made him, at that time, well known in York and its vicinity. At one time above the average stature, he was now bent nearly double with age, and hobbled along with two sticks. A huge bunch of the old fas.h.i.+oned matches, attached by a string to his neck, hung down before him, and was sufficient sign of his occupation; while a long white beard, reaching well nigh to the ground, completed the singularity of his appearance. This latter appendage was, however, conveniently made to take off and on at pleasure. He was fabulously reported to be a hundred and twenty years old; and there was little doubt that he, and also his wife who sometimes accompanied him, were on the eve of celebrating their centenary, if they had not already done so. When Mrs. Lyth met him, she was strongly impelled to speak to him on the subject of religion; but being alone, and a little timid, she pa.s.sed on. When she had proceeded about a hundred yards, she felt so much pained with the omission of her duty, that she hastened back, and faithfully discharged her conscience. We need only add, that the old man and his wife began to attend the chapel, and ultimately became members of Mr.

Lyth's cla.s.s. The old man got rid of his beard and his sins together, and, about two or three years later, both died in the hope of eternal life.

”1834.--Able to go to the village. Called to see Mrs. B., who seems to have a desire to be saved, but has to contend with great affliction.

Another proof of the importance of seeking the Lord in health. Poor old Mrs. L. is much altered, and did not recollect me. So mutable and peris.h.i.+ng is man. On reviewing the day, I think I have been aiming to please G.o.d; but my performances are so poor, that I have need to humble myself before G.o.d.--I got to see Mrs. R., most probably for the last time. She is apparently near the close of life, and patiently waiting the will of G.o.d. From thence I went to visit M.H. in the county hospital, but as dinner came in, I left her to see Mrs. W., who is in a precarious state, and much enc.u.mbered with worldly care. Here the Lord gave me power of utterance, and the spirit of prayer.--After six days spent at Acomb, I returned home much out of love with myself.

My visit on the whole has been pleasant. With and without my friends, I have visited many of the inhabitants. In some cases I have derived profit; but in others, I have had to take up my cross: yet I have had but one aim--to do, and get good.--I went to meet the dear people, but I was so overwhelmed by a dull pain in my head--accompanied with drowsiness, that I thought, how shall I speak to them? but the Lord graciously removed the indisposition, and blest my soul.--The Rev.

Daniel Isaac departed this life, after a lingering illness. He preached his last sermon in Haxby, and paid his last visit to our house; but the place that knew him shall know him no more for ever. So will it soon be said of me.--Jesus hath broke the bars of death, and opened paradise. In visiting, I was much refreshed. Tears of contrition rolled down the face of Mrs. L. and Mrs. E. One was added to the little cla.s.s. All were present, and I felt loath to take leave of them; but so it must be. Thos. Y. will now take charge of them.

Thus ends my career in Haxby. And after the toil and trouble of removing, I am now comfortably seated at Grove Terrace. To Thee, the blessed Donor of all I enjoy, would I render thanks. I have written an address to my Haxby members.--The division of my little cla.s.s seems now to be working well. O Lord behold and come, visit this vine; let its young and tender branches twine round about Thee; yea, let the whole be baptized with the Holy Ghost!--The last moments of this beautiful month (May) will soon have past for ever; but the record will remain, when the angel shall stand, 'one foot on the sea and the other on the land, and swear that time shall be no longer.' Solemn thought! I feel the importance of it, and the necessity of being clothed upon, with the righteousness of Christ. Well, I have got into the stripping-room. O for a full abandonment of self, a full giving up! Praise G.o.d, my heart yields, and distrusting itself, lays hold of Jesus by faith. I feel solicitous for the spiritual and temporal welfare of my family, especially my two eldest sons. My resolve is to cast my care upon G.o.d. I feel power to leave them in His hands, and believe He will work on their behalf.--I opened my Bible, and my eye was caught by the words, 'Can G.o.d furnish a table in the wilderness?