Part 4 (1/2)

G.o.d doeth nothing in vain. Cloud and suns.h.i.+ne, stormy winds, and steeping rains, have each their appointed purpose; and in their season contribute to bless, and refresh the earth; that it may bring forth its increase for the service of man and beast. You have often seen, how after a shower in the cheerful spring-time, the green meadows have suddenly put on a fresher and livelier hue; and the tender gra.s.s seemed to grow before your eyes. Just so, in the higher economy of grace, seasons of trial and affliction have their definite design; only here the effect is not determined by an irresistible law; but suspended upon the conduct of man. The heart must be open to receive the genial influences, which are thus mysteriously communicated; the will must submissively bow under the dispensations of an allwise Providence; and, especially, seasons of affliction should be seasons of earnest prayer. Then will they be followed by a marked increase of spiritual life and power. Mrs. Lyth benefitted by her afflictions; and although she more frequently mourns over her own unprofitableness, her growth in grace is clearly apparent in her journal, which we resume.

”1820.--Although I have the victory I cannot yet say the old man is dead; some seeds of peevishness yet remain to be destroyed. Praise G.o.d, I hate the garment spotted by the flesh. 'All peace, all love,'

is the desire of my heart, and the longing of my soul.--A day of fasting and prayer; but separation from every thing that defileth is what is pleasing to the Lord. May this be my continual abstinence.

Amen.--Not able to procure a subst.i.tute to meet my husband's cla.s.s, I ventured myself, sensible of my own unfitness, and earnestly begging G.o.d to speak by me. One person went out, but whatever was the cause, thank G.o.d, I felt that my work was with the Lord.--Went to see poor old Sarah; found her confined to her bed but happy in the Lord: nature was fast sinking. I wished her to have a nurse, but she thought she could do alone, as she had a candle, and the Lord was with her: left her, but found means to procure a nurse for the night.--A few days ago I was awoke with the words, 'What shall I do for thee?' My answer was, 'Lord, that I may live more fully to Thee, and for Thee.' Unutterable sweetness filled my soul, and now, while I write, I feel it still.

Glory be to G.o.d, His love is ever new. To walk with Him, transcends all earthly enjoyment.--During the last week I have learned my own weakness. Unaided by divine grace, I have no power to check trifling conversation among professors; especially such as are older than myself. Teach me how to act, when to speak, and when to be silent.

To-day felt it my duty to visit a neighbour, and met with a more favourable reception than I expected. He has long been ill, and is now in trouble. I told him that I had come to bring him good news, that 'Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners;' and while conversing with him on the necessity of an interest in the Redeemer's blood, in order to forgiveness, he seemed to listen with attention.

May the Lord make him a witness of the saving power of the Gospel, Some little matters, which require a patient and forgiving spirit, have occurred to fill up my character as a Christian. Lord, help me and give me that spirit which in Thy sight is of great price.--Thirty-eight years old! How short the time appears! yet how varied the scenes through which I have pa.s.sed! and how different the views I have had. Praise the Lord. With respect to the soul, I have clearer views than ever. My feet are upon the rock. When I look over my life, how blotted it appears! am lost in astonishment, that G.o.d, who made all things, and upholds all things by the word of his power, should stoop to such a wretch as I. O the depth of the riches of His mercy to me!--I have received a letter from Cousin Ann, in which she boldly confesses the cleansing blood. Hope it will prove a lasting blessing to me; feel ashamed that I have not more openly acknowledged what the Lord has done for my soul. By this omission, have clipped the wings of my faith, and encouraged a diffidence, which I long to have removed; have hesitated upon the plea, that I would wait and see whether the work was genuine or no. O my Saviour forgive, and condescend to teach one of the dullest scholars in Thy school.--Have found the five o'clock prayer-meetings very profitable, and cannot be thankful enough that I have health to go. At the prayer-leaders'

Lovefeast, said I could give up all for G.o.d, but have since asked myself, Is this true? Lord, Thou knowest it is the desire of my heart to give myself to Thee without reserve: accept the offering. I feel Thee now pouring in Thy ineffable peace. My soul has but one object, inward and outward holiness. O make me quite clear.--The intercourse is open between my soul and G.o.d, but yet I have had to struggle for it. O save me fully. This is what I want. Last Tuesday I felt I could not doubt. Stamp me, Saviour, with Thy seal, and keep me ever Thine. I again met Mrs. G.'s cla.s.s. I feel myself more fit to sit at their feet and be taught; but O Thou, who usedst clay to open the eyes of the blind, use me for Thy glory.--Some keen things uttered by a relative have wounded me to the quick. I feel innocent, yet, Lord, how little I can hear! Give me the love that hopeth all things, endureth all things, which rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.--Kirkby. I am reading Fletcher's Life. How it excites holy desire! My earnest aspiration is after perfect love. When shall it once be? Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly.--We went to Ribstone to see Mrs. R. but did not pray at the close of the visit; my mind was wounded on this account. The Lord pardon all my offences.--Cousin and I found it good to pour out our souls before G.o.d, alone. At first my mind felt hard; but by and by, the veil was drawn aside, and I enjoyed a sweet manifestation of the Lord;--a settled peace but no overflowing joy. My earnest wish is to be quite clear, for I am more than ever convinced of the reality of the blessing. The cleansing power of G.o.d puts us in a capacity to 'grow in grace,' and live to the glory of G.o.d.--We walked to Barrowby, and took tea with Miss H. She is a friendly girl, possessing the advantage of a polite education, but wants the main accomplishment--vital G.o.dliness: she wept while I talked with her. O that it may not pa.s.s away as the morning cloud! On our return we had a blessed meeting with our G.o.d. I felt the power to cast myself by faith upon the Lord; but still do not perceive the direct witness of the cleansing blood: am resolved not to give up the point until I obtain my suit.--I left Kirkby,--a place so congenial to my inclinations, secluded from scenes of noise and excitement,--and had a pleasant journey home, where I found all well. Praise G.o.d.--Returning from the Lord's house, a beautiful rainbow attracted my attention, and preached a second sermon to me; putting me in mind of the covenant which the Lord had made with His people.--I am aiming to keep the prize in view. I see lengths and breadths before me; and my heart, thank G.o.d, is bent to pursue that which to me is most desirable, viz., holiness. But I need stronger faith to enter in by the blood of Jesus. Union with Him is sweet. This makes one thirst for more. Many temptations a.s.sault me, but the reading of Fletcher's Polemical Essay on Christian Perfection has been of advantage to me. I am learning the method of bringing to G.o.d those evils and besetments, which seem to be the main hindrances to my progress. I have much cause of humiliation before the Lord, and wish to attain that sweet spirit of abas.e.m.e.nt, which not only confesses its unworthiness, but _feels_ willing, that others should be preferred before me. I have need of vigilance; my enemy is ready to seize upon the least advantage. To Thee, O G.o.d, my soul looks up.--A dream, I had this week, powerfully impressed me with the necessity of being faithful with our relatives, and of living near to G.o.d ourselves. Private prayer has been profitable, but do not know that I was ever so much beset with peculiar temptation. Since I have become acquainted with the devices of the enemy, have found another errand to the Lord.--Spent the forenoon with some of the friends of G.o.d, and the poor. On attending one of the women's prayer-meetings, find my name, has been omitted, but believe it is for the best.

'Make me little and unknown, Prized and loved by G.o.d alone.'

Last night I was troubled in my sleep, but it was sweetly suggested; 'G.o.d is our refuge--a very present help in trouble.' Glory be to G.o.d for His promises; may I hang upon them more firmly than ever. To-day my soul has been drawn after G.o.d; but when shall I be able to say with Mr. Wesley, 'Now I have lived a day.'--Find patience a grace.

I especially need, both with respect to myself, my children, my domestics, and the world. Had not the sacred Scriptures declared 'ye have need of patience,' I should be more ready to reason with the enemy than I am. But the word of G.o.d is a strong tower against the a.s.saults of the devil; here the righteous find a refuge and a hiding-place.--What a poor unprofitable creature I am! Lord, I cast myself upon Thee. Save a helpless soul, that feels no merit but in Jesu's atoning blood.”

”1821. Am ashamed to acknowledge I have felt a little impatience, because my hands through stiffness, occasioned by cramp, have refused to perform their ordinary duty. Forgive me, O my G.o.d; nor ever let me repine at any of Thy dispensations to a worm, loaded with benefits as I am. I seem a poor piece of useless lumber, but Thou bearest with me.

Let me ever live to Thee.--Although I usually sleep well, last night I lay awake for some time, but my meditations were sweet; they turned upon Peter's advice to those who had received like precious faith, viz.; 'Add to your faith virtue, and to virtue knowledge, and to knowledge temperance, and to temperance PATIENCE,' &c. I have felt its influence to-day. Praise the Lord for so divine an admonition; my soul needs it.--The debt of grat.i.tude I owe to Thee, 'O Thou Preserver of men,' I feel glad to acknowledge, though I am unable to pay. Glory be unto Thee for Thy renewed mercy to a worm. Help me to repeat my vows to Thee, who hast graciously protracted my life, and through another seeming death delivered me. Let the babe, thy love has given me, be unreservedly dedicated to Thyself. But oh! how shall I tell of Thy unbounded love to a worthless creature! My soul longs to be wholly Thine. Help my feebleness; let me turn neither to the right hand nor the left, but teach me all Thy will.--I am blessed with health, surrounded by friends, and encompa.s.sed by mercies. How infinitely poor is my grat.i.tude to the Lord, when all these are considered! How is it, Lord, that my affection for Thee is so cold, and my faith in Thy infallibility so weak? Quicken me, animate my drooping powers, and let me every moment live in Thee.--I have the witness within me, but daily feel my own weakness. All my good comes from heaven, and requires constant renewal. I have faith in G.o.d, but thirst for more. I want to be deluged with the love of G.o.d.--A trivial circ.u.mstance has been a source of mental exercise; but thank G.o.d, have had power to keep my tongue. Let the issues of my heart be kept by Thee.”

ON THE DEATH OF NAPOLEON BUONAPARTE, MAY 5TH, 1821.

He falls! Napoleon Buonaparte is gone: Who conquered thousands, conquered now by one: His strength diminished, and his glory fled; His kingdom taken, and his honour dead.

Though clad in warlike state,--without command; A captive buried in a foreign land: Oh! might we hope the captive now is free, Escaped from bondage into liberty.

”In private I have been greatly blessed; but, oh! the sense of ignorance I feel makes me ashamed: yet I know not that I ever felt a deeper thirst for all that G.o.d can give. Come, Lord, and diffuse Thy presence through my soul. I have been reading Bramwell's Memoir; how desirable his life! How enviable his death! Help me, Lord, to follow after, and to walk in close communion with Thee; that I may apprehend that, for which I am apprehended in Christ Jesus.--At. St Michael's Church the Rev. John Graham improved the death of the Rev. William Richardson, who for half a century has laboured in York, and been much esteemed on account of his ministerial usefulness. He gave a concise account of Mr. R.'s literary and spiritual attainments. His Christian character was excellent. His chief joy was in Christ crucified; and his constant prayer, that he might not live longer than he could be useful. His labours continued up to his last illness, which lasted only a week, and his last words were, 'My pleasures are to come.' Thus died this eminent minister of Jesus Christ, aged 76. To me it was a season of especial profit; angels seemed hovering around.”

REFLECTIONS.

Returning seasons bid reflection wake, And o'er the past a winding pa.s.sage take: Ah! what a scene of change arrests the mind, Within the compa.s.s of five months behind!

In many a home is hushed the voice of mirth, And sorrow, as a flood, o'erflows the earth.

Here one, by sad misfortune followed fast, In hopeless indigence is plunged at last.

Another, by disaster thrown aside, Has got a crippled limb to prop his side.

There, death has made a breach, and left forlorn The widowed mother, and the babe unborn.

Here, weeps the father o'er his orphan child, Who thinks it strange, for formerly he smiled: Oh! who can tell the sorrows of his breast?

'Tis sad experience must reveal the rest.

A few days since, a mournful crowd appeared, In sable garb, and to the church repaired; Ask you the reason of their measured pace, Why silent all, and tears on every face.

Alas! the Pastor's dead, who, fifty years, The Gospel tidings sounded in their ears:-- A man of G.o.d, endued with purpose strong, Who lived the truth he taught, and hated wrong, Full thirty years, the schools enjoyed his care; The sick, the poor, the Missions claimed a share.

But now, we hear his friendly voice no more; His course is finished, and the fight is o'er.

Come, hear the accents of his flying lips, ”My pleasures are to come;”--the curtain slips, And hides what follows from our curious eyes: Enough! he joins the chorus of the skies.

Another scene, and melancholy too; The bridegroom widowed, ere he pleasure knew; His hopes of bliss had soared unduly high, And little dreamt he there was danger nigh; But see! the throes of death his bride arrest, The barbed arrow strikes her beating breast: His hands have touched the cup, but ere he sips, The wine is hurried from his burning lips.

Such are the sorrows which around I find, Diverse, and manifold as human kind.

Let these suffice my grat.i.tude to fire, And with unfeigned praise my tongue inspire.

That I, so undeserving, still possess Unnumber'd mercies, through redeeming grace.

Let each vicissitude my soul prepare, By patience here, for endless glory there; Where sickness ceases, and where sorrows end, Where no misfortune can the bliss suspend; Where death is banished, for the curse is o'er, And love unrivall'd reigns for evermore.

”I have greater pleasure in visiting the sick, and the poor, than in visiting those who, as far as this world is concerned, are better circ.u.mstanced; in the former case, my object is simply to do or get good, but in the latter, I find it is in danger of being mixed with other motives. Christ is the end as well as the source of my happiness. Oh! to be saved in every word and thought, this is what my soul covets. I feel I am getting firmer hold of Christ.--I have been tempted to a spirit of fretfulness and ill-nature; praise the Lord for the victory. I was enabled to come to him for help, and power; and by ejaculatory prayer, found sweet access to the Throne. I can say it is my chief study to live to please G.o.d, and to obtain a complete victory over myself, which I find is no small conquest.--The prospect of my children's return from school has supplied me with another subject of prayer. I have asked for patience, perseverance, and firmness to guide them aright. By simply coming to the Lord, I obtain help; and am sure, that while I continue to act faith in His power, I _shall_ be helped.

Then help Thy servant evermore to trust in Thee.--Had purposed going to the Prayer-meeting, but was prevented; I believe Providence guided me, and appointed me another work. In talking to my family at home, I felt great liberty; the Lord loosened my tongue. Oh! that the seed may spring up, and bear fruit. I endeavour to pour out all my grievances before the Lord. I know that He hears my prayer, and am resolved to tell Him the worst of myself, as far as His grace enables me to discover it. I am decidedly resolved to be the Lord's, for I can obtain solid happiness from no other source; but the name of Jesus is a cordial to my soul. More faith, and more love, is all I want.--How frail I am! Conversing with a friend as I returned from the house of G.o.d, I uttered an unnecessary word, and immediately felt that I had grieved the Spirit of G.o.d. As soon as an opportunity of retiring presented itself, I poured out my soul before the Lord, ashamed that I should so often offend Him, whom I desire to love and obey above all things.--In my cla.s.s I professed the enjoyment of the sanctifying influences of the Holy Spirit; and, blessed be G.o.d, though I hold the blessing feebly, I do hold it; but the cry of my soul is, fill me with all the life of G.o.d.”