Chapter 31 (1/2)

Ugh, I love this slow and delicate chapter of Lost You Forever way too much. So little action but so much richness in important details. Xiao Yao moves back to Sheng Nong Mountain and finds her true calling after a walk down memory lane. She reads the former Flame Emperor’s medical journals and really understands what being a healer means and that motivates her to become a doctor in spirit as well as in skill. Xiao Yao will never know that her own mother actually met the Flame Emperor in the last days of his life and he pa.s.sed on his life’s work to her. Not to mention the former Flame Emperor being platonic best friends with Xiao Yao’s grandmother Empress Lei Zhu as well as Xiao Yao’s master the Royal Mother. It’s so apropos that Xiao Yao carries the mantle now. Medicine becomes also her distraction from the surreal quality of her life, engaged to Feng Long but doesn’t love him, recovering from Jing’s broken promise which felt like pouring salt on her lacking in trust heart, and wondering what the heck is really between her and Xiang Liu.

Okay, she doesn’t ever wonder but she does something that I’m so happy to see from a girl who never ever wants to take the first step and make the first overture. She sends Xiang Liu the most obvious and undeniable message of what is in her heart towards him. She pleads wordlessly for him to take her hand, for him to take her away from it all, for them to forget that he’s the General of the Sheng Nong resistance army and she’s the cousin of Emperor Zhuan Xu. Even with everything she went through with Jing, he was always the one who made the effort, the one who bared his heart to her, the one who extracted a promise from her. For the first time we see Xiao Yao dare ever so little to hope. My heart bleeds for her as it does for all the male leads in this novel. Who will be the one to break free of their fate and find long lasting happiness? I don’t know but can’t my woobies stop hurting me so much with their inner angst? I don’t know how I can translate through the tears to come.

Chapter 31 – Chasing Past Memories, Empty Hopes and Disappointed Visage:

Life on Xiao Yue Summit was very languid and lazy.

Zhuan Xu said Sheng Nong Mountain was the same as Five G.o.ds Mountain but that wasn’t true. Five G.o.ds Mountain had no memories but Sheng Nong Mountain, Zhi Yi, Zhe Province, it all had lots of memories in each place.

Xiao Yao didn’t know if she purposely didn’t want to face the past or really was lazy, but she didn’t want to go anywhere. When Zhuan Xu suggested she open a medical clinic like she did on Five G.o.ds Mountain, Xiao Yao wasn’t interested.

Every day Xiao Yao woke up after noon and then flipped through her medical books. Only when making poisons did she perk up slightly.

The Yellow Emperor saw her so withdrawn and suggested “That boy from the Fang Feng family, his name is Fang Feng Bei, right? I see you guys get along well, how come he hasn’t come play with you these past few years? You can ask him to hang out together.”

It was better the Yellow Emperor not mention that because afterwards Xiao Yao got even more uninterested even in making poisons. She spent every day sitting in a daze in the corridor.

One day the Yellow Emperor summoned Xiao Yao and took her into a wooden hut. It was spa.r.s.ely decorated with only a jade box on the pallet that caught the eye. The Yellow Emperor said “This was the residence of the former Flame Emperor.”

She knew which former Flame Emperor he was referring to but couldn’t help but confirm “The Flame Emperor that is regarded as the founder of medicine?”

“Yes, the one who wrote the Sheng Nong Herb Manual, that Flame Emperor.”

Even though she never met him, Xiao Yao remained curious about him after memorizing the manual so she quietly looked around the hut.

The Yellow Emperor walked up to the pallet and pointed to the jade box “This contains all the notes written by the Flame Emperor when he was doing his medical research. You can read it.”

Xiao Yao wasn’t very interested and murmured “Sure.”

The Yellow Emperor added “Whether he was still alive or after he died, the entire world respects the Flame Emperor more than me. After uniting the Middle Plains and to sooth the people’s will I had no choice but to venerate him, but in truth I never felt he was worthy until I settled at Xiao Yue Summit and chanced upon his handwritten notes. After reading it carefully I finally conceded that I could never match up to him. At least the me of the past couldn’t! Xiao Yao, I have only ever respected myself, the Flame Emperor is the only other person I ever respected and admired in my life.”

Xiao Yao stared in shock at the Yellow Emperor, unable to believe that such an ambitious, brave, and proud Yellow Emperor could have just said that.

The Yellow Emperor said “The Sheng Nong Herb Manual is something you’ve long memorized but no matter how much you know it front to back you have never truly understood it. Don’t look at me like that, after you read it then you’ll understand what I mean.”

Xiao Yao opened the box and picked up the first scroll and started reading.

Once she started she was mesmerized and didn’t even know when the Yellow Emperor left.

From morning until evening, from evening until morning, Xiao Yao didn’t sleep or eat and just kept on reading.

The notes started with the Flame Emperor writing that he personally tested hundreds of plants and herbs to understand what its effects were. He discovered that he was being poisoned by the testing so he started to cure himself with antidotes.

The Flame Emperor carefully wrote down in detail every type of medicine he took.

He needed to catalog the effects of each medicine before and after, and then carefully write down how it affected him after he took it: weakness, pain, deafness, vomiting, spasms, heart murmurs, seizures, frothing at the mouth…..

The notes were detailed and calm without a shred of emotion. Xiao Yao read in it the cold stark words but knew behind it was real pain that a body had to endure. In the beginning Xiao Yao didn’t understand why the person who could write the Sheng Nong Herb Manual didn’t know how to lesson his own pain? But the more she read led her to understand that he knew how but didn’t want to help himself. He wanted to give the people of the world a manual that listed the first reaction to a plant or herb exactly as it was ingested.

Until the end, when the Flame Emperor knew there was no cure for his poisoned body, he still used his body to test all sorts of medicines not to cure himself but to catalog more and more to leave behind.

This could cure heart attacks but would leave nerve damage; that can lessen retching but will cause sleeplessness; that could help bodily pain but might lead to blindness…..

In these cold words, how deep was the love for the world, how magnanimous was the sacrifice, how brave and resilient was the determination.

An Emperor for the ages was willing to endure such pain and agony just to leave behind knowledge to help the humans lesson pain. But the lifespan of the G.o.ds was so long that to devote it to experiencing agony willingly required how vast a heart full of courage.

These notes were just a portion of what the Flame Emperor wrote but contained some plants not included in the Manual itself likely because he didn’t have time to test it repeatedly to confirm. The knowledge included in the Manual was so detailed and precise, how much repeated testing did it take to create one such Sheng Nong Herb Manual?

After Xiao Yao finished reading the handwritten notes she sat there in a daze for some time before finally leaving the hut.

The Yellow Emperor stared at her quietly and she said “I was wrong! I never truly read and understood the Sheng Nong Herb Manual!” In the past she heard people talking about how the Manual was the life’s work of the Flame Emperor but she never truly comprehended what that meant. Now she understood that what she had casually learned was not just a medical text but the blood and guts of an Emperor’s entire life.

The Yellow Emperor nodded “If you’re wrong, how will you fix it?”

Xiao Yao didn’t have an answer.

The Yellow Emperor said “The Flame Emperor didn’t have time to collect his final notes. He likely doesn’t care whether I am venerating him during official prayer ceremonies, if I could present the world with the final collection from his notes and help the people, it would be the best tribute to him. But I don’t know medicine.”

The Yellow Emperor took his hoe and headed for the fields.

Xiao Yao sat down crossed legged and slowly contemplated.

Zhuan Xu came in the evening and she said to him “I want to learn medicine.”

Zhuan Xu was perplexed “Don’t you already know medicine?”

Xiao Yao said “I learned my accident.” She learned by trying to poison people and lacked the fundamentals. She didn’t even know how to treat the most basic ailments so she could never be considered a real doctor.

When Xiao Yao was running the medical clinic in Yin Province she actually discovered this limitation but she didn’t care to fix it. She never intended to help the people of the world with her healing so if there were ailments she couldn’t treat then another doctor could deal with it. But now she faced her limitations and decided to conquer it. She wanted to forget everything she learned and start learning medicine from scratch.

Zhuan Xu asked “How do you want to learn medicine? Want me to order Dr. Zhen to teach you?”

Xiao Yao shook her head “Right now I’m not worthy of him teaching me.”

“Whatever you want to do, I will support you.”

There were medical schools in Zhi Yi Castle so Zhuan Xu ordered royal physicians to take turns teaching courses there. Xiao Yao covered her face with a veiled hat and pretended to be a regular medical student and started learning medicine from the bare basics.

Xiao Yao stopped sleeping in and got up early every day to take cla.s.ses at the medical school. The Yellow Emperor also got up early every day and went to tend the fields and read up on medical texts. One old, one young, the days pa.s.sed peacefully on Xiao Yue Summit.

Every day Zhuan Xu would come have dinner with them rain or s.h.i.+ne. After years of testing Zhuan Xu finally understood that the Yellow Emperor had let everything go with no intention of ever going back to rule. Zhuan Xu also gained experience with ruling Xuan Yuan and didn’t need his advice as much so he stopped telling the Yellow Emperor every detail of what went on in court and only shared the critical issues with him.

Most of the time Zhuan Xu never talked about politics or Zhi Jin Palace. He discussed the land with the Yellow Emperor and asked Xiao Yao what she learned today, the new friends she made in cla.s.s, or whether anything interesting happened.

Sometimes Zhuan Xu would linger after dinner to accompany Xiao Yao to swing or help her do little ch.o.r.es or even take a walk with her in the phoenix tree forest.

Xiao Yao felt nothing changed between her and Zhuan Xu, he was still her closest person. But everything was still not the same. He never let her go to Zhi Jin Palace so she felt that he placed her outside of his normal daily life. But Xiao Yao didn’t have a problem with that since he didn’t need her anymore now.

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Winter left and Summer came, time pa.s.sed swiftly and Xiao Yao had been learning medicine for two years in the medical school.

One afternoon Xiao Yao walked out of the school and found Feng Long waiting for her. She smiled “How come you have time today?” Feng Long smiled “I’ll take you back.”

In the last two years, when Feng Long was in Zhi Yi Castle he would find time to visit Xiao Yao in Xiao Yue Summit and also chat with the Yellow Emperor. After Zhuan Xu arrived the four of them would then have dinner together.

Xing Yue only visited once after Xiao Yao came to Xiao Yue Summit. Due to the Yellow Emperor, everyone avoided Xiao Yue Summit, especially Xing Yue. She was a hostage in Xuan Yuan Castle from birth so the Yellow Emperor represented the spectre of death to her. Her fear of him was ingrained since childhood so even if she was now the Empress of Xuan Yuan and the Yellow Emperor could not harm her anymore, she still felt very awkward whenever she saw him. So she intentionally avoided it and if she had her way she would have sent the Yellow Emperor back to Xuan Yuan Mountain already.

In her one and only visit, Xing Yue was very formal and stayed only briefly before departing.

Feng Long was vastly different than Xing Yue, he was taken at birth by the Chi Sui clan leader and grew up in his grandfather’s protective care without any worry. After he grew up he understood that the Yellow Emperor caused his family to be split into three places but by such time it was already over. He might’ve been angry before but he didn’t blame the Yellow Emperor anymore nor was he scared of him. He was actually rather in awe of him, the type of feeling a man with great ambition would have for another who succeeded. Like a beast’s natural admiration for another powerful beast.

The other government officials were wary so kept their distance from the Yellow Emperor to avoid the awkwardness of one nation with two rulers and lead to Zhuan Xu’s suspicion of their allegiance. Feng Long was as smart as any when it came to politics yet with this he was completely candid and forthright, he never avoided the Yellow Emperor and even used Xiao Yao to spend more time with him. He liked to talk with the Yellow Emperor, to learn from him the historical events that the Yellow Emperor lived through and had greater understanding of. Feng Long wanted to learn such wisdom and knowledge from an elder, such an opportunity people dreamed of and might never experience once, but because of Xiao Yao he had many opportunities.

Xiao Yao and Feng Long returned to Xiao Yue Summit and Feng Long immediately ran off to find the Yellow Emperor. He excitedly used his water power to draw a map to show the army formations and discussed the attack strategy with the Yellow Emperor who listened patiently. When Feng Long was done talking, the Yellow Emperor swapped a few formations and Feng Long was rendered dumbstruck. He furrowed his brows in deep thought and then excitedly bowed to the Yellow Emperor in appreciation.

Xiao Yao sighed and shook her head, she wondered if Feng Long was visiting her not because he missed his fiancee but because he missed the Yellow Emperor. She ignored that pair of young and old and went to the dummy to practice her acupuncture.

Zhuan Xu arrived to find Feng Long and the Yellow Emperor still discussing army strategy and he listened for a bit before walking over to watch Xiao Yao poking needles.

Likely she practiced archery for so many years, she integrated the technique into her acupuncture so the way she wielded needles was very different than other doctors.

Even though it was just a dummy, Xiao Yao treated it as a real person so she didn’t dare slack off and was covered in sweat after her practice session. Zhuan Xu handed her a handkerchief to wipe her face and tenderly said “There are many doctors in the palace, why are you spending time learning such detailed skills?”

Xiao Yao laughed “If I work hard during the day I can sleep better at night.”

“Is your sleeplessness better?”

“Since starting to learn medicine, it’s gotten a lot better.” She still had a hard time falling asleep but she woke up less during the night. Because she slept better, her heart pain problem also lessened.

Zhuan Xu’s expression was conflicted – Xiao Yao’s illness was caused by Jing and she never mentioned him now, but after so many years she still hadn’t forgotten him.

Feng Long saw Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao chatting in front of the dummy and called over “Your majesty, can you work a little harder please? Can’t you see me discussing army strategy with your grandfather over here? Of course with me around you’ll never end up on the battlefield, but you should come learn it!”

Zhuan Xu walked over and moved the formations and immediately destroyed Feng Long’s side. Feng Long stared slack-jawed in disbelief.

Zhuan Xu scoffed “Since I was small I was already learning such things with my grandfather. He acted out all the battles he fought and back then it was during the height of the Sheng Nong and Xuan Yuan war so I heard so many battles firsthand. Many times Grandfather took me to the battlefield and said that only by standing in the middle of the fallen corpses can I experience the heat of the blood and understand the sacrifices of the soldiers.”

Feng Long’s emotions flitted from envy to jealous to anger and finally to pity. When he was playing pretend war with his friends, Zhuan Xu was stepping over corpses to walk forward.

Real battle, real death, such things even an adult would have a hard time enduring, yet a very young Zhuan Xu was standing there in the battlefield.

Feng Long sighed “For sure an Emperor isn’t a position that just anyone can possibly occupy.”

Shan Hu announced dinner and the four sat down to eat. Feng Long awkwardly stood up and started toasting each person individually. He then stammered and looked at everyone until Zhuan Xu impatiently asked “What do you want to say?”

Feng Long chuckled “That….I was thinking…..my wedding to Xiao Yao ought to be scheduled. My grandfather wants to see great-grandchildren and I’m sure your grandfather does as well.”

Xiao Yao’s heart dropped with a thud, like a person walking on the edge of the cliff suddenly stepping on empty. Her hands started to shake and she quickly clenched into a fist and looked down.

Feng Long stared at the Yellow Emperor who smiled “I have no opinion, you youngsters decide your own matters.”

Feng Long relaxed and immediately looked at Zhuan Xu who smiled and slowly sipped his wine. Feng Long kept staring pitifully “Your majesty, you have a gaggle of women so you ought to pity a brother. I promised Xiao Yao I would only have her as my one woman in my entire life. I don’t have a problem with it and am willing to do so, but my family is anxious that I get married.”

Zhuan Xu finished his wine and smiled “This is Xiao Yao’s matters so everything according to her wishes.”

Feng Long sighed and turned to Xiao Yao and wheedled “What do you think?’

Xiao Yao bit her lip and said nothing, she didn’t sense anything when she and Feng Long were coming back but he clearly came prepared. Sometimes he wasn’t as clueless as he appeared.

Feng Long softly said “If you like living on Sheng Nong Mountain, let’s ask His majesty to give us a peak since there are so many palaces uninhabited. If you like Zhi Yi, the Chi Sui clan has a big residence in Zhi Yi and you can renovate it. If you find both places too hectic and want quiet then we can go to Chi Sui. Have you been there? There are lots of rivers and lakes, like Gao Xing, so you’ll like it a lot. The Chi Sui residence is very lovely centered around a lake and especially beautiful in the Summertime.”

Feng Long looked at Xiao Yao’s expression and continued “If you like medicine, you can keep learning and even if you want to become a practicing doctor I would fully support you.”

Xiao Yao felt that if her life was exactly as Feng Long offered then it was already such a good life. Chi Sui castle wasn’t very big and was beautiful and serene. Perhaps she can open a medical clinic in Chi Sui Castle, there might not be blissful happiness but there also won’t be gutwrenching sadness. The days would pa.s.s in mellow calmness. She wanted to say yes but the word was stuck in her mouth and she couldn’t bring herself to actually say it out loud so she nodded her head.

Feng Long asked “So you agree?”

Xiao Yao nodded again “Yup.”

Feng Long was so happy he couldn’t barely contain his smile. He scooted back to his seat and said “I’ll write a letter to my grandfather tonight and have him send an envoy to discuss wedding details with the His majesty the Grand Emperor.”

With this matter decided the four of them resumed eating. Xiao Yao was silent while Zhuan Xu smiled but said very little. The Yellow Emperor chatted a bit with Feng Long but it was all Feng Long talking and being so happy.

After dinner Feng Long didn’t stuck around like he used to and spend more time with the Yellow Emperor but instead immediately bid farewell and rushed off in excitement on his winged ride.

Xiao Yao walked back into the hut to write a letter to her dad and ask him to pick an auspicious wedding date for her.

After she wrote the letter and summoned the messenger bird, she tied the letter on its leg and was about to release it when Zhuan Xu reached out and captured the bird in his one hand and grabbed Xiao Yao’s hand in his other hand.

Xiao Yao looked quizzically at him as he asked “Are you absolutely sure?”

Xiao Yao said “We’ve been engaged for a long time and I have to get married sooner or later. Since Feng Long wants to get married soon then might as well get married soon!”

Zhuan Xu said “You’re not going to consider anyone else?”

Xiao Yao laughed “To be honest you have plenty of talented men reporting to you and Feng Long is just one of them. But his personality is open and easygoing and he isn’t too into romance, plus he’s willing to accept all my quirks. When I agreed to get engaged to him years ago, you were the one who said there couldn’t be a better option than him.”

Zhuan Xu remained silent.

Xiao Yao “Gege!”

Zhuan Xu said “I don’t want you to get married!” His hand was cold and his fingers were shaking.

Xiao Yao patted his hand “I understand.”

“You don’t understand!” Zhuan Xu’s eyes were trained on his feet and his eyes were filled with abject sorrow and despair.

Xiao Yao said “I understand! Years ago when you married Xing Yue, I also felt very upset like she was taking you away from me, that we would be like outsiders from then on.”

Zhuan Xu looked up and stared at Xiao Yao “You were upset when I got married?”

Xiao Yao laughed at herself and nodded “I really felt so awful back then, so angry like something that was mine was being stolen by another. Later I realized I was being petty, you’ve been married to Xing Yue for three years but you’re still my Gege. You didn’t get stolen by Xing Yue. Later when I marry Feng Long, you’re still my closest, most trusted person.”

But he didn’t want just that, he wanted more…… Zhuan Xu could only smile as his heart fell. Xiao Yao didn’t want anything and only asked for her man to have only her. He no longer had the right anymore.

It wasn’t that he didn’t have a chance with her, he actually had more chances than any of the men in her life. When they were working hard to get close to her, he was already deep inside Xiao Yao’s heart. If he but reached out then no one else would ever have a chance. But he needed those men’s help so time and time again he pushed Xiao Yao towards them.

When Xuan Yuan Castle was dangerous to him, he got Jing’s help. When he arrived in the Middle Plains and it was dangerous in Sheng Nong Mountain, he got Feng Long and Jing to unite and back him. Then the entire Middle Plains backed him. But now that he didn’t need help from either of them anymore, Xiao Yao had already given her heart to Jing and pledged her body to Feng Long.

In Xuan Yuan Castle, he knew that night Jing stayed all night in Xiao Yao’s room. But he could only pretend not to know. He stared at the map of the entire vast wilderness all night until sunrise. On Zhi Jing Summit, he knew Xiao Yao went to visit Cao Ao Peak to meet Jing and didn’t come back until the next morning but he could only pretend not to know anything. He tensely studied his work all night. When he was in the most dangerous moment, he knew Xiao Yao agreed to marry Feng Long just for him but he could do nothing to stop it……. Back then he couldn’t even protect himself. A woman who claimed to love him was too scared to even meet with him, but Xiao Yao agreed to marry another man for him.

Zhuan Xu gripped Xiao Yao’s hand tighter and the messenger bird started to cry out trying to escape his hand.

The Yellow Emperor suddenly appeared and yelled “Zhuan Xu!”

Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao looked over at him and the Yellow Emperor said very gently “Zhuan Xu, release the bird and let it go.”

Zhuan Xu gradually released his hand and the messenger bird took fight towards Gao Xing.

Xiao Yao rubbed her hand and said “This matter is a bit abrupt, Feng Long can be very random when he does things.”

Zhuan Xu turned to leave and his voice was dark “Random? He calculated this better than anyone!”

Xiao Yao watched Zhuan Xu disappear into the clouds and asked the Yellow Emperor “Does Zhuan Xu and Feng Long have a conflict I don’t know about?”

The Yellow Emperor smiled “A liege and his subordinate will always help each other but at the same time be wary of each other.”

Xiao Yao wanted to say more but the Yellow Emperor added “Nothing to worry about, Feng Long is a smart man and he will plan what’s best for him but will never cross the line with his liege. But people have tempers so if Zhuan Xu needs him then he also needs to give him some leeway. As the ruler Zhuan Xu needs to have this magnitude.”

Xiao Yao sighed “After the wedding I think it best if I go to Chi Sui Castle. It would be too complicated to stay here!”

The Yellow Emperor smiled and then sighed. Feng Long really was the man most suited for Xiao Yao, he can’t give her deep pa.s.sion but he can give her a calm uneventful life.

The Yellow Emperor walked off but then turned back to see Xiao Yao sitting beside the window staring into the dark night in a daze. He coughed lightly and Xiao Yao appeared to wake from a trance “Grandfather, you haven’t gone to sleep?”

The Yellow Emperor suddenly said “I asked Zhuan Xu to find any way possible to get Nine Lives Xiang Liu to turn his allegiance to us.”

Xiao Yao bolted upright and stared at the Yellow Emperor.

The Yellow Emperor said “All these years, using any method, any persuasion, any means available, he turned it all down.”

Xiao Yao looked back out into the dark distance and her face showed no emotion, no joy and no sorrow.

“Zhuan Xu ordered that two peaks in Sheng Nong Mountain be designated as off-limits and he has his own personal soldiers guarding it. You ought to know why he did that. Even though Xiang Liu saved your life, but you don’t owe him anything.”

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Zhuan Xu went to Xuan Yuan Castle to handle some matters and didn’t come to Xiao Yue Summit for ten plus days.

It was instead Xing Yue who never came that decided to pay a visit.

Last time Xing Yue saw Xiao Yao was when she just returned to Xiao Yue Summit and after that visit she invited Xiao Yao to visit Zhi Jin Palace to see her. Xing Yue was now the Empress and she loved the adulation and respect her position earned her. She liked everyone bowing before her, even Yi Yang who used to give her att.i.tude now had to lower herself before her. But Xiao Yao remained the exception.

Xiao Yao was very respectful to her but never bowed her head to her. From birth until now, Xing Yue never encountered a girl like Xiao Yao. She never looked down on people below her nor did she pander to those with more power than her. She wanted for nothing and wished for nothing.

Xing Yue liked Xiao Yao because she was so different than the other girls, she had this carefree aura about her. But Xing Yue hated Xiao Yao also because she was so different than the other girls, all the things the girls valued became insignificant when it reached Xiao Yao.

Xing Yue was hiding a secret fear deep inside her. When she married Zhuan Xu, he had a smile the entire time but her womanly intuition told her that Zhuan Xu was in the worst mood possible. She actually felt that Zhuan Xu wearing all black was a declaration to the entire world that he was not happy. On their wedding night Zhuan Xu didn’t sleep with her and she endured her anxiety and tried to be nonchalant about it. She turned over to get closer to him but he turned over and was further from her. Xing Yue didn’t know why but the entire night she was in a state of abject worry. She told herself over and over that Zhuan Xu was simply too tired. The next morning she got up and put on a happy face to head out and receive the people’s well-wishes.

The second night Zhuan Xu still didn’t want her. Xing Yue worried the entire night and by morning even her makeup couldn’t mask her dark circles under her eyes. Thank goodness Zhuan Xu was as sweet to her as always during the day and it even led to the people jumping to the wrong conclusion and joking about how Zhuan Xu was going to wear his Empress out if he didn’t control himself.

By the third night, Xing Yue pushed aside her fear and nervousness and took off her robe and embraced Zhuan Xu from behind. She wasn’t as pretty as Jin Xuan or as seductive as Xiao Xiao, she wasn’t as gentle as Shu Hui or as alluring as the Wan Lei Consort….but she was always very certain that she could give Zhuan Xu something none of them could. Yet right now she was frightened.

Zhuan Xu didn’t turn around and was so cold like a rock. Xing Yue’s tears fell and she pressed forward to kiss him.