Part 51 (1/2)

”After all, you know,” said Mr. Oldbeau, ”a man is only as old as he feels”----

”Yes,” said Miss Pepprey, ”but some old men make the mistake of thinking they are as young as they think they feel.”

At a West End hotel one of the party asked:

”Have you got any celery, waiter?”

”No, sir,” was the significant answer; ”I relies on me tips.”

YEAST--Did you ever try to dye eggs?

CRIMSONBEAK--No, I never did; but I've tried 'em after they were dead.

A dude from St. Louis named Crute Had a habit of saying, ”Oh, shoot!”

He said it one day To a man in Ouray, And that was the finish of Crute.

”How is your house heated?”

”By hot air.”

”Hot air?”

”Yes--the landlord's.”

”I want to get a head of cabbage,” said the man who had been sent to market.

”Large or small head?” asked the grocer.

”Oh, about 7 1-4,” said the man, absent-mindedly.

”I'll pa.s.s the b.u.t.ter,” said he, while trying to pa.s.s the browsing goat.