Part 35 (1/2)

Everybody knows a woman is hard to please. She likes the matrimonial harness, but doesn't like to be hitched up with a man who is strapped.

”I wonder why blondes are always anxious to be wedded?”

”I guess it is because they're naturally light-headed.”

Each evening a good-looking Mr.

Comes around for a visit to my Sr.; One night on the stairs, He, all unawares, Put his arm round her figure and Kr.

”Do you know the nature of an oath, ma'am?” inquired the judge.

”Well, I reckon I orter,” was the reply. ”My husband drives a ca.n.a.l boat.”

BROWN--”Young Dudel's body has been recovered.” ”Why, I didn't know he had been drowned.” ”He hasn't. He merely bought a new suit of clothes.”

”Yes, I have seen the day when Mr. Hart the millionaire, did not have a pair of shoes to cover his feet.”

”And when was that, pray?”

”At the time he was bathing.”

”Widowhood makes a woman unselfish.” ”Why so?” ”Because she ceases to look out for Number One and begins to look out for Number Two.”

The judge asked an Irish policeman named O'Connell, ”When did you last see your sister?” The policeman replied: ”The last time I saw her, Judge, was about eight months ago, when she called at my home, and I was out.” ”Then you did not see her on that occasion?” ”No, Judge; I wasn't there.”

If Broomstick, as rumored, is in a woman's hands, he may be booked to beat the favorite.

Torchlight and Igniter, coupled should prove a red hot combination, but with Extinguisher in the race might not bring in any money to burn.