Part 20 (1/2)

”I understand that Willoughby was half seas over at the Sneerwell dinner.” ”Oh, no. He was sailing into the port when I left.”

BACON--What's that thread tied about your little finger for?

EGBERT--Oh, that's just to remind my wife to ask me if I forgot something she told me to remember.

HE--You saw some old ruins while in England, I presume? SHE--Yes, indeed! And one of them wanted to marry me.

CHOLLY--Ethel Knox told me last night I wasn't over half-witted.

SUSIE--I shouldn't feel badly about that; she never did know anything about fractions.

MRS. SWELLERY--What is the matter with my husband, doctor?

PHYSICIAN--Appendicitis, madam.

MRS. S.--I am so glad. I was afraid he might have something unfas.h.i.+onable.

A man who drives away customers--the cabman.

CLEVERTON--Miss Cutler tells me she has been putting quinine on her face lately for her complexion.

DASHAWAY--I guess I'll go around there. I have a touch of malaria.

MAUD--How do you define love?

MARIE--Love is the life of illusion.