Part 13 (1/2)
An Irishman was planting shade trees when a pa.s.sing lady said:
”You're digging out the holes, are you, Mr. Haggerty?”
”No, mum. Oi'm diggin' out the dirt an' lavin' the holes.”
Irish foreman, to gang of men in a sewer: ”How many men is down in that hole?”
Voice from the sewer: ”Three, sorr.”
Irish foreman: ”Then lave half of yez c.u.m up.”
TRAMP--”Can't you give a poor man something to eat? I got shot in the war and can't work.”
Woman-”Where was you shot?”
”In the spinal column, mum.”
”Go 'way! There was no such battle.”
”I suppose Barnum went to heaven when he died?”
”Well, he certainly had a good chance. In fact he had the greatest show on earth.”
”Why do all bank cas.h.i.+ers run to Canada?”
”Give it up.”
”Because that's the only place Toronto.”
”Were you attached to the place?”
The actress laughed bitterly.