Part 18 (1/2)

”You're too young. That is a bar, Emily.”

”Oh, come on, Monica. You can't tell me that you can't get me in?” she stood, crossing her arms over her chest, chewing on one side of her lip. Finally nodding, as if she had come to some sort of decision.

”Okay. We'll go to Campy's.” I smiled. This should be interesting.

As I dressed I thought of where we were going. It had occurred to me what kind of place that bar had been, later. I wasn't sure why it hadn't that day. I had heard of places like that before when I had been in school, but it had never really registered, and I had never paid any attention. I felt a surge of energy, and curiosity, and figured what the h.e.l.l. I was out of Pueblo soon anyway.

I decided to dress conservatively in lose-fitting blue jeans and a T-s.h.i.+rt. I wore my hair back in a ponytail. I looked into the mirror, and realized I looked like I was twelve. With a sigh, I pulled the band out of my hair, and combed it all down around my shoulders. It helped a bit. I looked fifteen instead. I sat on my bed to put my shoes on, and my mind drifted to Beth. I wondered if she had ever been to Campy's. Wouldn't surprise me. Part of me, a large part, actually, wished that she were going with us. Or with me. I missed her so much. After seeing her twice in the last couple weeks, after not seeing her at all for seven months, I was craving that which only she could fill. I knew that it was crazy of me to wish for something that was just not going to happen. I was far too logical for that. But all the same. I wondered if she was still with that pretty redhead from the theater. Had she been another actress? I didn't recall seeing her in the play. Maybe just a fan. Like me.

”Okay. You're sure about this?” Monica asked as we sat in her Cherokee outside of the bustling Campy's. I stared at the building at the end of the parking lot, and listened as the heavy beat of music pounded out of the open door. I nodded. ”Okay. Let's go.”

My eyes took in everything as we walked through the door, Monica having to do some pretty smooth talking to the bouncer so I could get in. It certainly looked different than it had with all the lights on. The air was filled with a smoky glow as all the thousands of twinkling lights caught cigarette smoke. It also seemed to vibrate with the beat from the music which was Motley Crue, the heavy guitar and vocals almost deafening. Faces were hard to make out in the red hue of the place, but I could see tables jam-packed with crowds of talking, drinking, laughing people. Mostly women, but men were wondering around, too.

”Do you want something to drink?” Monica asked, leaning in close so I could hear above the noise. ”Non-alcoholic.” She said pointedly. I shrugged innocently.

”A c.o.ke?” she smiled, and headed toward the bar. I started to follow, and nearly ran smack into someone, or did they nearly run smack into me? I looked up, startled, to see short, curly blonde hair, and half-lidded brown eyes.

”In a hurry?” she asked.

”Sorry.” I said. She shrugged bare shoulders, and looked over to Monica who stood at the bar.

”What're you two doing here?” Lee asked.

”I'm leaving tomorrow, so I wanted to check the place out. When it's open.” I explained, though I don't know why I was bothering. She nodded, and walked away. I stared after her, shaking my head. What a strange woman.

”What?” I turned to see Monica standing next to me, her brows drawn as she looked to see what had caught my attention, and had me frowning. I nodded with my head toward the table where the blonde sat with a large group of women. ”Oh. I'm not surprised. She's here all the time. That was part of the problem.” She muttered. I turned to her, curious.

”Part of the problem?” then it dawned on me, making me want to whack myself in the forehead. ”You two were together?” I asked, my voice a whisper. She grinned with a nod. ”Oh.” I looked back to the blonde, new understanding. I felt so thick. ”So you are, well, into....this?” I asked, my hand out to include the whole room.

”Have been for almost ten years, now.” She smiled. I nodded dumbly. ”Come on.” She chuckled, walking toward an empty table in a corner. We sat, me with my c.o.ke, Monica with her beer, which I eyed. ”You like beer?” she asked, taking a sip. I scrunched up my face, shaking my head.

”Tastes like carbonated horse p.i.s.s.” She set the bottle down, and threw her head back in a howl of laughter.

”Something you've tried recently?” she asked as she calmed, an amused smile planted on her face. I stuck my tongue out at her.

”Good evening, ladies.” My head snapped up as a woman with a tray walked up to our table. ”For you.” She set another beer on a small, round cardboard coaster in front of Monica.

”Who?” my friend asked, glancing around the bar. The waitress pointed to a table three tables down, and walked away. Monica strained her neck to look behind her at the table, seeing a woman raise her gla.s.s in salute. Monica smiled, and raised her beer. I watched, fascinated. The woman was attractive with long, brown hair. The bar was too dark to see any of her features very clearly. ”I'll be right back, Emily.” Monica said, turning back to me. ”You be okay for a sec?” I nodded.

”Yeah, go ahead.” She chugged her beer, taking the new one with her. I sat back in my chair, watching as couples stood from their tables and headed toward the dance floor that was already filled with a steady throng of dancers. It was such a new experience for me to see a woman leading another woman to the dance floor, or back to their seats, talking close, leading to a kiss. It was almost an overload of images, and my body was thrumming with the new knowledge opening to me. How had it happened so suddenly to me? Like a brick falling out of the sky, thumping me on the back of the head? I suppose I just wasn't ready before. Everything happens in its own time.

”You look lost.” My head snapped up to see Lee standing at the table, an amused grin on her face. G.o.d knows I certainly felt lost in a way at that moment, but I did not want the blonde to know that. I shook my head.

”Just thinking.” She pulled out a chair, and plopped down in it, sipping from her water.

”Penny for your thoughts?” she said, leaning back in the chair, bringing her booted foot up to rest on the chair next to her. I studied her for a moment, wondering what she wanted. Seeing nothing but genuine curiosity, I decided what the h.e.l.l.

”I've never been to a place like this before.” I said, my voice almost shy. I felt really young at that moment. She nodded.

”Kind of interesting, isn't it? Whole new world, kid.” I nodded, she smiled. ”Monica teaching you the ropes?” she wiggled her brows, and glared, catching her obvious meaning.

”She's my boss.”

”All the better.”

I rolled my eyes, and looked out toward the dance floor. She chuckled.

”I'm just kidding, Emily. Hey, just a joke.” I glance back at her, annoyed. ”Come on. Let's dance.” Fear gripped me immediately, and I shook my head. ”Come on, I won't bite. Let's go.” She stood, scooting her chair back under the table. I glanced over to see Monica talking to the woman who had bought her a drink, then looked up to see Lee patiently waiting for me. On shaky legs, I stood, and slowly followed the blonde to the dance floor. The song was fast paced, and bodies were thras.h.i.+ng about. I tried to be careful not to get smacked in the face by a weaving hand or arm. Lee found us a place near the edge of the floor, and began to move. I watched her for a moment, then began to dance myself. I loved to dance, and so decided to just let go. The blonde smiled, and I smiled back Maybe this wasn't so bad.

The song ended, and another began, Cyndi Lauper, ”Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”. I giggled as Lee joined in to help Cyndi along, her voice often getting lost in the loud volume of the music, her movement wild and silly to match the song. I was having a ball when I turned around and noticed Monica sitting at our table. She was watching us, an unreadable look on her face. Lee noticed where my attention had gone, and turned back to me.

”She tell you we used to date?” she asked, moving a bit closer to be heard above the beat. I nodded. ”What did she tell you?”

”Not much.” I answered with a shrug. Part of me wanted to ask questions, but then I thought better of it. Any questions I asked should be to Monica, not her ex.

”We lived together.” She continued. I just watched on, quietly hoping she'd tell me more. ”For just over a year.” She turned, grinding with a friend of hers who danced next to us. I watched them as they laughed, and hugged each other. That had been interesting. I had a feeling the new world I had become a part of would bring forth many new discoveries. Lee turned back to me and inched her way to me until next thing I knew, she was behind me, her hands on the sides of my thighs as she hunched down, taking me with her, her front grinding into my rear-end. I wasn't sure what to do, but realized that just underlying the uncomfortable surface was a complete sense of being turned on. Just a bit disconcerted, I scooted away from her, and turned to find her grinning at me.

”Why'd you break up?” I asked, just this side of sarcastic.

”I like to have too much fun.” She said with a shrug. I couldn't believe she was so nonchalant about it. I glanced back over in my boss' direction to find her still staring at us, the slightest pained expression on her face. ”But,” I turned my attention back to her. She had dropped the careless smile, was looking at Monica. ”I do have my regrets.” I was surprised at the wistful tone in her voice. The blonde seemed to shake herself out of her reverie, and smiled at me. ”Come outside and have a smoke with me.”

”I don't smoke.” I said.

”Well I do. Come on.”

I followed Lee off the dance floor, and out the front door of the club. She walked us over to a large Ford, and yanked the tailgate down, hopping up onto it. I did the same, our legs dangling back and forth. Lee took a pack of Marlboro's out of her s.h.i.+rt pocket, and stuck a slim, white cigarette into her mouth. She offered me the pack.

”You sure?” she asked when I shook my head. With a shrug, she stuck the pack back into her s.h.i.+rt, taking a lighter out, flicking the wheel to release the small, yellow flame. I stared out into the night as she took a deep drag, expelling the smoke from her nose and mouth with a sigh. ”Gets so crowded in there.” She said, putting her hands on the cool metal of the gate on either side of her legs.

”You come here a lot?” I asked, glancing at her. She nodded, taking another drag.

”Few times a week.”

”Don't you work?” I asked, incredulous. She chuckled.

”Sure do. This is how I relax.” She explained. To me it seemed far more stressful than relaxing, but to each her own. ”So, you like working for Monica?” I nodded. That seemed safe enough territory. ”She a good boss?” again, I nodded. ”Good.” She took another, long drag, staring off at the cars that drove by on the highway. ”She seeing anyone?” I glanced over at her, not comfortable with the question at all.

”I really don't think that's any of our business, Lee.” She nodded.

”Fair enough. I'm sorry. Don't mean to get you involved.”

”S'okay.” I said with a small smile. I understood. If I had run into that little redhead that had been with Beth at the theater, I would have picked her brain, too. Does she talk about me? Does she think about me? Does she miss me? All questions that I would probably never know. Never get to ask or find out.

My head drooped slightly as I thought about the ramifications of those thoughts.

”You okay, kid?” I glanced over to see Lee staring at me, her dark blonde brows drawn as she studied me. I nodded.

”Yeah.”

”You're kind of new to this world, aren't you?” she asked, indicating the building to our left. I nodded again. Was it stamped on my forehead? I couldn't help but wonder, was there some sort of right of pa.s.sage I was supposed to take? What was this new world she spoke of? Was it like its own community, or could you just continue to be you? It was all very confusing for me then. I sighed.