Part 5 (2/2)
Who was Jonah's tutor? The whale that brought him up.
Wherein did the prophet Jonah differ from the modern theologians?
Because while he disagreed with the whale, they disagree about him.
Why was John the Baptist like a penny? Because he was one cent (sent).
Who won the first horse race in the Bible? Herodias' daughter when she got a head of John the Baptist on a charger.
When is a policeman like the good Samaritan? When he comes out of some area (Samaria).
Which are the two smallest things mentioned in the Scripture? The widow's mite, and the wicked flee.
Why is a good wife like the devil? While the husbandman sleepeth, she seweth (soweth) tears (tares).
CHAPTER IV
HISTORICAL CONUNDRUMS
There has been but one king crowned in England since the conquest.
What king was he? James I. He was King of Scotland before he was King of England.
When Louis Philippe was deposed, why did he lose less than any of his subjects? Because, while he lost only a crown, they lost a sovereign.
Why is a portrait of Queen Elizabeth like a wager which is neither lost nor won? Because it is a drawn Bet.
What Egyptian official would a little boy mention if he were to call his mother to the window to see something wonderful? ”Mammy, look!”
(Mameluke).
What young ladies won the battle of Salamis? The Miss Tocles (Themistocles).
Who was the most wretched of all the murderers of Julius Caesar? The miserable Cinna (sinner).
What is the difference between the Emperor of Russia and a beggar?
One issues manifestoes; the other manifests toes without 'is shoes.
Why is the Emperor of Russia like a greedy schoolboy on Christmas Day? Because he's confounded Hung(a)ry, and longs for Turkey.
Why is chloroform like Mendelssohn? Because it is one of the great composers of modern times.
Why was William Tell like a post? Because they couldn't get a bough out of him.
The name of what character in history would a person mention in asking the servant to put coal on the fire? Philip the Great (fill up the grate).
Why are volunteers like Lord Nelson? Because the last thing he did was to die for his country, and that is about the last thing the volunteers intend doing.
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