Part 5 (1/2)
Why do we a.s.sume that Moses wore a wig? Because sometimes he was seen with Aaron (hair on), and sometimes without.
If you were to throw a white stone into the Red Sea, what would it become? Wet.
Who were the first mathematicians mentioned in the Bible? The Children of Israel, who multiplied upon the face of the earth.
What is the difference between the ancient Israelites and modern washstands? The former had hewers of wood and drawers of water; the latter have ewers of water and drawers of wood.
Why would it be impossible to starve in the desert of Sahara? Because of the sandwiches (sand which is) there.
How did the sandwiches get there? When Ham was sent there with his followers, who were bred (bread) and mustered (mustard), and when Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of salt, all but-ter (but her) went into the desert.
Who was the oldest man that ever lived, yet who died before his father did? Methuselah: his father Enoch did not die, but was translated.
If Richard Jones were milking a cow too quickly, what ancient name would that animal mention? Melchisedek (Milk easy, d.i.c.k).
What man had no father? Joshua, the son of Nun.
Who took the first newspapers? Cain took A-Bell's Life, and Joshua countermanded the Sun.
Why was the giant Goliath very much astonished when David hit him with a stone? Because such a thing had never entered his head before.
How many soft-boiled eggs could the giant Goliath eat upon an empty stomach? One, after which his stomach was not empty.
What ancient king was often literally in his contemporaries' mouth?
Agag.
What is the difference between Solomon and Rothschild? The one was king of the Jews, the other Jew of the kings.
Where did the Witch of Endor live--and end-her days? At Endor.
Who was hanged for not wearing a wig? Absalom.
In what tongue did Balaam's donkey speak? Probably in he-bray-ic.
Why would Samson have made an excellent actor? Because he could so easily bring down the house.
Why is the gla.s.s I drank out of yesterday like Nebuchadnezzar in his debased condition? Because it was my tumbler (might humbler).
What is the difference between Nineveh and a donkey-boy? One is in a.s.syria, the other is an a.s.s-hurryer.
Who was the first unfortunate speculator? Jonah, because he got taken in.
What did the whale gain in the little transaction between him and Jonah? The whale got all the prophet.
Why was the whale which swallowed Jonah like a milkman who has retired on an independence? Because he took a great profit (prophet) out of the water.
How did Jonah feel when the whale was going to swallow him? Down in the mouth--as if he was going to blubber.
What divine law did the whale obey when he swallowed Jonah? Jonah was a stranger and he took him in.