Part Ix Part 140 (1/2)
The driver of the Rolls got out and knocked on the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer, he knocked and knocked, and eventually the owner stuck his head out, soaking wet.
”I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce,” the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly.
The driver of the Yugo looked at him and said, ”You got me out of the shower to tell me THIS?!?!
Ugliest Baby.
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, 'That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen.'
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
'The bus driver insulted me.' she fumed.
The man sympathized and said: 'Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult pa.s.sengers.' 'You're right.'
She said. 'I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.'
'That's a good idea,' the man said. 'Here, let me hold your monkey.'
A Smart Pilot.
During a transcontinental flight, a pa.s.senger looked out the window and noticed that two of the jet's engines were on fire. He began shouting that the engines were on fire, and pretty soon the rest of the pa.s.sengers were in the throes of panic. Whereupon the pilot appeared in the doorway to the pa.s.senger compartment with a parachute strapped to his back.
”Don't worry, folks,” he said cheerfully. ”I'm going for help!”
Foreign Exchange Rate.
A beautiful young lady having just returned from a magnificent week long vacation in a South American republic, walked into the local bank & asked about exchanging currency. The teller said he would try to help her.
The la.s.s plopped a huge wad of bills onto the counter & the teller then counted it, made a phone call, and returned to count out $27.18. The wide-eyed woman gasped. ”You mean to tell me that's all I get for that mountain of bills ?”
”I'm afraid so, Miss.” replied the teller, ”That's the current rate of exchange according to our foreign exchange section.”
”d.a.m.n.” she hissed, ”And I gave that cheap s...o...b..breakfast too.”
Hotel Bill.
A traveler and his wife leave their hotel room and go to the lobby to check out. The traveler puts down a $50 bill and asks for a receipt.
The clerk says that his total bill is $75. The traveler explains that the sign advertises all rooms $50/night, tax included. He insisted that his bill is only $50 since he didn't make any telephone calls, didn't charge anything in the restaurant and didn't use the mini bar.
The clerk advised that it's for the food that comes with every room.
”But we didn't consume any of the food”, said the traveler.
”Well that's too bad. It was there and we charge for it”, said the clerk.
”Well then, you owe $75”, said the traveler.
”What for?” said the clerk.