Part 18 (2/2)

For a fleeting moment, I wondered if I could ever learn to bless the Lord in the way King David intended. To trust in him. Though he smite me, to cling to him and believe in his goodness. To rest in him though weariness overwhelmed me. If I could learn the secret of such a faith, then even if I lost Joannas companions.h.i.+p, I could hold on to G.o.d and know his encompa.s.sing peace.

The next day, a note arrived from Chuza. I collapsed on my cus.h.i.+on when I read the contents.

Joanna had lost her baby.

He did not say so in the letter, of course, but I knew that his family blamed me for the loss. The curse of my illness had somehow caused Joanna to miscarry the babe.

I wept bitterly for the first time in months, knowing how keenly Joanna would feel this loss. I was impotent to bring her the smallest measure of comfort while bound by my own illness. From that time, Chuzas mother forbade my sister to set foot inside my house. Her animosity made me more determined to find a cure.

Siras next remedy required that I walk outside the city and stand at a crossroads. He would not tell me what I was to do there. We left at noon, when the heat drove most people indoors. Sira had chosen a specific spot, though I did not know the significance of it. At the intersection of two small roads, both unfamiliar to me, he came to a halt.

Stand here, he said, pointing at the center of the road. Thankfully, there were no animals or pedestrians in the way. I took my place where he indicated. He took out a wooden chalice from his sack and filled it with wine.

Handing me the chalice, he commanded, Drink. I took a sip. It tasted like normal wine. Now look at me, he demanded. So I looked up. He had an intense expression that I found perplexing.

Before I could ask what we were meant to do next, a huge man rammed into me from behind, screaming incomprehensible words. The hairs on the back of my neck rose. I had never had such a fright in my life. Shrieking, I pulled away from the mans bruising force and threw myself at Sira. I thought perhaps some monstrous demon had struck me. When I turned around, I saw that my attacker was a normal man, large and prepossessing in size, but clean and neat and apparently in his right mind.

In a nasal voice, he said, Arise from thy flux.

What? I cried, before collapsing on the ground, s.h.i.+vering from reaction.

Sira squatted in front of me. The fright was part of the treatment. We believe that the body releases healing humors when a great fear comes upon a patient. How do you feel?

How do I feel? I stuttered, wanting to give him a fright of my own. I feel like my legs have turned into feather pillows. You are a crazy man, you realize? I suppose you will charge me extra for this particular cure.

As a matter of fact, that is true. I have to pay Samuel, you see.

I was frightened, all right. But I was not healed. Thankfully, Sira did not repeat that particular remedy for a whole week.

The following week there was another unexpected knock on our door. When Keziah, who promised she did not know who stood on the other side this time, opened it, we found Joanna. She appeared listless and wan.

Joanna! I leapt to my feet and ran to her, careful not to touch her with the merest whisper of my skin. What is it? Has something happened?

I missed my sister. I have come to visit.

Has your mother-in-law lifted her ban?

Joanna shrugged. She banned me from setting foot inside your house. I have not placed a single dainty slipper over this threshold, have I?

I laughed. I hope you will not get yourself into trouble with your husbands family on my account.

I could not bear to stay away longer, Elianna. I am so sad, and you know how to cheer me.

I exhaled. I am sorry, my love. I am sorry you lost your precious babe. I am praying that G.o.d will give you another quickly.

She nodded and gave a watery smile. Is there no stool in your house that we can set outside the door here while we talk? I cannot stand for a whole hour.

For several days, this became our habit. Joanna would come and sit outside my door, and we would talk. Sometimes we spoke of ordinary things, and sometimes we talked about the heartaches in our lives. We held on to each other with love, with compa.s.sion, with pity. We had nothing practical to offer one another. The poultice of love proved enough. Our aches were deep, but love was deeper. In time, hope emerged victorious over our fears.

When does Sira give you his next potion? Joanna asked on a hot afternoon.

My shoulders slumped. He has sent a letter to inform me that he had to leave for Ephesus on urgent family business. He wont return until next year.

Oh no!

He has sent me a long dietary list. Things I am to eat and those I should avoid for the next few months. He a.s.sures me that good diet alone might provide a cure.

And if not?

He says there are still a few things we can try upon his return, and I am not to give in to despair.

I like this Sira. He sounds like a good man.

I shrugged. For a physician.

We giggled. It was good to laugh at the absurdities of our lives.

Is this a private feast or can anyone join in?

Husband! Joanna gasped. From the spreading red stain on her cheeks, I guessed she had never told Chuza how she spent her afternoons.

I wondered where my wife had disappeared to again. I guessed this would be a likely spot.

I never went inside the house, as you see. I kept my promise. Joannas voice trembled. I realized that in spite of her apparent disregard for her mother-in-laws wishes, she felt apprehensive about defying her command.

I am sorry, Chuza, I said. I am at fault. I should have sent her home when she first came. It was selfish of me to encourage her.

Chuza rubbed his chest with an agitated hand. Peace. It would be cruel to come between two sisters who love one another so deeply. I do not demand such a sacrifice. My mother, now”she is another matter.

Joanna reached for Chuzas hand. You wont tell her?

Of course not, Joanna. I know my mother intends the best. That does not mean she is always right. I saw how unhappy you were when you lost our babe. Then you started to smile again and be my old Joanna. Thats when I began to suspect that you might be visiting Elianna. She is good medicine to your soul, whatever my mother might believe. He wrapped his arm around Joannas shoulders. Have you another stool for your brother, Elianna?

He did not even ask if the stool Keziah fetched was unclean. How blessed we were the day Chuza married my sister. Tell us news of the palace, I said, happy for new company.

My father, you may know, is considering stepping down from his position as steward to Herod. His joints trouble him, and he is often in pain. I do what I can to help, but the steward has to perform many tasks personally. Yesterday, he pet.i.tioned the tetrarch to give me the position of steward instead.

And what did Herod say?

He will think on it.

Which means he awaits a fat gift as incentive, Joanna said.

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