Part 18 (1/2)
You should pity yourself. Now you will have to wash all your clothes, bathe yourself, and you will still be considered unclean until the evening. Its a real inconvenience.
Excellent. Since we are both unclean, let us go all the way and eat whatever we wish. We can repent later.
I dissolved into laughter. I could not help myself. You and your stomach. You allow it to get in the way of your walk with G.o.d.
Well, that and the fact that he wishes to cut off bits of my body I have no interest in giving up.
I bit my lip. All at once, talking about my bleeding disease did not seem so awkward. Viriato had no shame. I had Keziah fetch another cus.h.i.+on and Viriato sat next to me as we talked into the evening.
He stayed at an inn in Tiberias for a whole week. Every day he visited us, bringing with him cheer and the amusing stories of our trade. The poor man had to bathe and wash his clothes every day before returning to the inn after sunset. He did it without complaint, though, and when I objected, he said, Bathing and fresh clothes merely serve to make me more handsome. You should see the fuss the women make of me when I arrive at the inn.
I am sure they think you irresistible. Have you found yourself a wife yet?
Shackle myself to one woman? I have more sense than that.
He tried to laugh it off, but I knew that he longed to have a family. It would be hard, in Judea, where most of my people would rather starve than give their daughters to Gentiles.
G.o.d has someone for you, Viriato. Someone who will not feel like a shackle, but be a great blessing to your life. Wait on the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
I could say as much to you.
Viriatos visit was like a breath of air, bringing me new strength and encouragement. After he left, I decided to try another physician. I had given up on them when the third one gave me a concoction that made me vomit for three days straight. He had the nerve to charge me the equal of a months wages for that cure, even though it made no shadow of a difference in my condition.
I sent Keziah to purchase a fat roll of parchment; I had decided to write down an account of my life. It kept me occupied for days on end. To my surprise, describing these events brought a measure of relief. The parchment bore the weight of every sorrow with uncritical impartiality. The pen became my friend.
With some trepidation, I asked Chuza to find me another physician. Most physicians mixed the spiritual realm with their physical treatments and thought nothing of handing the patient a bowl of medicine dedicated to some foreign G.o.d or blessed by a magical incantation. They demanded libations to this idol and the wors.h.i.+p of another.
I could have none of that. The Law forbade G.o.ds people from seeking the help of mediums or witches. Turning to any form of idolatry was also considered a grave sin. The Lord condemned the practice of magic under any circ.u.mstance; there was no such thing as good magic.
A few physicians chose to focus on herbal remedies and surgical means, however. Their curative powers relied solely on the physical realm. These I could consult. Sometimes I had to travel a long way to find one. To my relief, Chuza managed to locate a healer famed for producing good results, right in Tiberias. He had been summoned to attend Herods wife, who suffered from a stomach disease.
Sira had been trained in Greece and had taken, according to him, an oath to ensure ethical treatment of his patients.
What does this oath contain? I asked.
Amongst other things, I have promised that the sick under my care will suffer no hurt or damage, that I will comport myself and use my knowledge in a G.o.dly manner, and that my visit shall be for the convenience and advantage of the patient.
I gave a wan smile. Then you are welcome in my home.
It turned out that Siras ethics came at a steep price. I paid the money and prayed that healing would come my way.
Do not fret, he said to me when I described all the previous treatments that had produced no results. I have many remedies for your condition. If one doesnt work, we shall try another.
Impressed by the breadth of his knowledge and his obvious confidence, I put my trust in him. He made up my first remedy from a mixture of gum of Alexandria, alum, and a special crocus, famed for its healing powers. Sira bruised and pounded these together in a mortar, creating a dense paste the size of a silver coin. This concoction he then dissolved in wine and gave to me. I had tasted worse.
For one week, I drank a fresh preparation of this remedy and waited to see if it would take effect.
Joanna came to visit me one morning during this trial period. I noticed she glowed with a new happiness. I am going to have a baby, she told me before she had time to sit down. Never had I been so frustrated with the limitations of my condition. I could not hug her or hold her as I wished.
May the Lord be praised! I cried. I am so happy for you, little sister. Is Chuza beside himself?
His feet have not touched the ground in two days.
And his parents? They must be well pleased.
His mother wont stop crowing about her sons virility. I cannot fault her for that, since it is my wonderful husband she praises.
I wish I could be of some practical help, Joanna. Do you think if I wove some linen and wool garments, and Keziah washed them with ritual care, Chuzas mother would allow you to use them for the baby?
Joanna shrugged her shoulders. I care not what she thinks. My baby will wear whatever his talented aunt decides to make for him. Did you bring any dyes with you from home?
A few samples”sufficient for the needs of a new babe. We can bleach a few pieces white and I have blue dye and a bit of Lydias purple left.
Joanna clapped her hands. Marvelous. I shall have the best-dressed child in all of Judea.
Siras first remedy proved ineffective. But at least it made me no sicker than I had been before we started. The next treatment was made up of Persian onions. Sira was very precise about the amounts of each substance he used. Nine logs. No more, no less, he said to me as he measured onions and wine with care. For several hours, he allowed the onions to boil in wine over a low flame.
When I had finished drinking a full cup, he said, Arise from thy flux.
I arose, but the flux continued. He made me drink the onion-soaked wine three times each day for a whole week, to no avail.
For some months now, I had felt pain and discomfort in my belly. Cramps would often a.s.sail me. They were not so powerful that I was overcome by the agony. But I found that even moderate pain, when it comes against the body hour after hour, week after week, leeches the strength out of the bones. I grew weaker with each pa.s.sing day.
The constant bleeding did not help. Sira prescribed more meat in my diet to give me extra nourishment. Whatever nourishment I took with my food, however, I seemed to lose immediately to the hemorrhaging of my womb.
A new worry added to my physical discomfort. Joanna had not been to see me for four days, which was unusual. I a.s.sumed that her condition had made her feel too ill to come abroad. I sent Keziah to inquire after her welfare.
They wouldnt let me see her, mistress, she said when she returned, huffing from her speedy walk. They would not even let me through the doors, but kept me waiting in the courtyard like a stray dog.
TWENTY-THREE.
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses.
Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.
PSALM 25:16-18.
MY HEART SANK. I suspected that they wished to guard Joanna and the babe she carried from being exposed to my ailment. I could not blame them for wanting to protect my sister from harm, nor would I interfere in that intention. How severe life was going to seem, deprived of my sisters company for all the months of her pregnancy. The thought of it made me turn cold with dread. I would find my days excruciatingly lonely without her.
I remembered a pa.s.sage I had read in Gamaliels parchments not two days before: Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagles.
These were mere words to me. As yet, they held no substance. No truth. No comfort. How could G.o.d forgive my iniquity? He certainly had not chosen to heal my disease or redeem my life from the pit.