Part 17 (1/2)
”Here, O Lord, I take my stand; here I lay my foundation, and on this thy covenant I build; or rather, here thou thyself hast laid my foundation, and on this rock hast thou set my soul and built my hopes, thou subduing my enmity. I acquiesce. I will now 'remember the years of thy hand,' look back to thy dealings with thine own nation, whom thou didst choose and set apart from all other nations, though of the same blood with all those that dwell on the face of the whole earth.
”They, like us, destroyed themselves, but in thee was their help.
They also sinned, committed iniquity, and did wickedly; they remembered not thy mercy, but provoked thee at the Red sea, after the great deliverance thou hadst wrought for them, and the wonders thou madest to pa.s.s before them in the land of Egypt. Nevertheless thou savedst them for thy name's sake, that thou mightest make thy mighty power known; thou didst repeat thy wonders, and didst dry up the sea before them. He fed them with corn from heaven; they did eat angel's food. He clave the rock in the wilderness, and caused waters to run down like a river. After all, they forsook the G.o.d of their mercies; they believed not his promises, nor trusted in his salvation; they l.u.s.ted, and they murmured, and desired to turn back to Egypt. Thou didst chasten them sore for their sin, and didst bring down their heart with grief.
”When thou didst slay them, they sought thee, and remembered that G.o.d was their rock, and the most high G.o.d their Redeemer.
Nevertheless they did flatter with their mouth and lied unto thee with their tongue, for their heart was not right with thee, neither were they steadfast in thy covenant. But thou being full of compa.s.sion, forgavest their iniquity and destroyedst them not; yea, many a time turnedst thou away thine anger, and didst not stir up all thy wrath.
”O how many times did they turn back, tempted G.o.d, and limited the Holy One of Israel. Yet did he fulfil all his promises, and by wonders in the sea, wonders in the desert, wonders in Zoan's field, and in the camps of their enemies, he led them safely to the border of his sanctuary, to the mountain which his right hand had purchased. He cast out the heathen before them, and gave them rest in the land of promise. Even there they provoked the Most High, provoked him to jealousy with their graven images.
”Again thou didst chasten them sore, let loose the corruptions of men upon them, and suffer them to fall before their enemies. Thou deliveredst thy strength into captivity, and thy glory into the hands of their enemies.
”Yet, O Lord, again didst thou deliver them, and sentest provision for them by thine own covenant. Thou didst choose David thy servant, and take him from the sheep-folds. Thou broughtest him to feed Jacob thy people, and Israel thine inheritance. So he fed them according to the integrity of his heart, and guided them by the skilfulness of his hands.
”Such are the people with whom thou hast still to do. Such, O G.o.d of infinite mercy, such the G.o.d with whom we sinners have to do, even 'the Lord G.o.d, merciful and gracious, keeping mercy for thou sands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin; and that will by no means clear the guilty.' O what could man or angel have done with this last character of thy name? Thy covenant makes provision. In Christ Jesus, our blessed subst.i.tute, all is reconciled. Thy name is one; the just G.o.d, and the justifier of the unG.o.dly who believe in Jesus; This G.o.d is our G.o.d; we will make mention of his righteousness, and his only.
By his own covenant, in his own time, and by means of his own providing, he will revive us. Amen.”
”APRIL, 1804
”All my desire is before thee, and it is all contained in thy well-ordered covenant. Many years of vanity, of idolatry, of backsliding, wandering, and folly have pa.s.sed over my head since I first took hold of thy covenant. How fickle, false, and deceitful have I proved; yet thou knowest, thine own Spirit through all my wanderings testified in my heart, that out of the channel of this covenant there could be neither safety nor comfort; and never, so far as I can remember, have I deliberately chosen to be dealt with by any other.
Its corrections and chastis.e.m.e.nts have reached the deepest sensibilities of my heart. Thine arrows stuck fast in me, thy hand pressed me sore; there was no soundness in my flesh, neither rest in my bones, because of my sin; mine iniquities went over my head, were a burden too heavy to bear. I was feeble and sore broken, and roared by reason of the disquiet of my heart. My lovers and friends stood aloof from my sore, and my kinsmen stood afar off. I was ready to halt, and my sorrow was continually before me; yet even in my darkest, deepest afflictions, when deep called to deep, and thy waves and billows were pa.s.sing over me; when my soul seemed sinking in the mire where there was no standing, I groped in the dark; my heart panted, my strength failed, and the light of mine eyes seemed gone out. I was weak with my groaning; in the night I made my bed to swim with my tears; yet even then, by that same covenant by which I was suffering, light sprang out of darkness, glimmering hope in the midst of despair. I remembered the years of thy right hand; in the mult.i.tude of my thoughts within me--the provision made in this covenant--thy comforts delighted my soul.
”I was furnished with a plea which would condemn, by every covenant but thine: Pardon my iniquities, for they are great. Thou, even thou, art he who blottest out transgressions as a cloud, and iniquity as a thick cloud. Verily thou art a G.o.d that pardoneth, though thou takest vengeance on the inventions of thy rebellious children. 'Vengeance!' not the vengeance of the curse; no, that, O thou blessed Covenant, thou blessed Surety, that fell on thy devoted head. Thou by this covenant wast 'made a curse for us.' Thou didst tread the wine-press alone, and of the people there was none to help thee. Thou didst expend the last drop of that cup of vengeance. Every cup put into our hand, though a cup of trembling, is a cup of blessing. I this day take a fresh hold of thy covenant, for myself, for my children, and for my children's children, to the latest generation. For my brother and sister, for their children, and children's children; for the near concerns of our dear D. B----; and for all whom I carry on my mind to thy throne of grace. This is the sum and substance of my prayers. Bring them into the bond of this covenant, and deal with them according to the order of it, and the provision made for them in it, in all possible circ.u.mstances. Amen.
”O G.o.d, in the mult.i.tude of thy mercies hear me, in the truth of thy salvation. Truth of thy salvation! thou only knowest the truth of thy salvation. How little do we know of thy work. Many of those providences which appear to us dark and dismal, are wheels turning round 'the truth of thy salvation;' opening our blinded eyes to the issues of sin, and also delivering from the snares of the devil. Deal not, O Lord, with me, and mine, as our iniquities deserve; this has never been thy way with us; but according to thy former loving-kindness, and to all the long-suffering, patience, and pardoning mercy which thy aged servant has experienced through her sinful guilty pilgrimage. Thou hast forgiven me all the way from Egypt. Leave me not now, when I am old and grey-headed; but when strength and heart fail, be thou the strength of my heart and portion for ever. Amen.”
The winter of 1804-5 was unusually severe: the river Hudson was shut by frost as early as November; fuel was consequently scarce and dear, and the poor suffered greatly. Mrs. Graham visited those parts of the city where the poorer cla.s.s of sufferers dwelt;* in upwards of two hundred families she either found a Bible their property, or gave them one; praying with them in their affliction. She requested a friend to write, first one religious tract and then another, suited to the peculiar situation of those afflicted people. One was called, ”A Donation to Poor Widows with Small Children;” the other, ”A Second Visit to Poor Widows with Small Children.” And lest it might be said it was cheap to give advice, she usually gave a small sum of money along with the tracts she distributed. There was at this time neither a Bible nor Tract Society in New York. Mrs. Hoffman accompanied her in many of her excursions. In the course of their visits, they discovered a French family from St. Domingo in such extremity of distress as made them judge it necessary to report their case to the Honorable Dewitt Clinton, then mayor of the city. The situation of this family being made public, three hundred dollars were voluntarily contributed for their relief. Roused by this incident, a public meeting was called at the Tontine Coffee-house, and committees from the different wards were appointed to aid the corporation in ascertaining and supplying the immediate wants of the suffering poor. The zeal of Mrs. Graham and Mrs. Hoffman paved the way for this public-spirited exertion, which probably was the means of saving the lives of some of the dest.i.tute and friendless.
*The following notice of these scenes appeared in one of the periodical publications of the day:
”When sorrow shrunk before the piercing wind, And famine, shelterless, in suffering pined; When sickness drooped in solitary pain, Mid varying misery's relentless reign; Oh, then tumultuous rose the plaints of grief, And loud and strong the clamors for relief!
Then active charity, with boundless care, From gloomy faces chased the fiend Despair, Dispelled the horrors of the wintry day, And none that asked went unrelieved away.
”Yet there are some who sorrow's vigils keep, Unknown that languish, undistinguished weep; Behold yon ruined building's shattered walls, Where drifting snow through many a crevice falls; Whose smokeless vent no blazing fuel knows, But drear and cold the widow's mansion shows; Her fragile form, by sickness deeply riven, Too weak to face the driving blasts of heaven, Her voice too faint to reach some pitying ear, Her s.h.i.+vering babes command her anguished tear: Their feeble cries in vain a.s.sistance crave, And expectation 'points but to the grave.'
”But lo, with hasty step a female form Glides through the wind and braves the chilling storm, With eager hand now shakes the tottering door, Now rushes breathless o'er the snow-clad floor.
Her tongue soft comfort to the mourner speaks, Her silver voice with soft emotion breaks; Round the drear hovel roves her moistened eye, Her graceful bosom heaves the lengthened sigh.
”I know thee now--I know that angel frame-- O that the muse might dare to breathe thy name: Nor thine alone, but all that sister-band Who scatter gladness o'er a weeping land; Who comfort to the infant sufferer bring, And 'teach with joy the widow's heart to sing.'
”For this, no noisy honors fame shall give, In your own b.r.e.a.s.t.s your gentle virtues live; No sounding numbers shall your names reveal, But your own hearts the rich reward shall feel.
”ALBERT.”
In the month of August, 1805, Mrs. Graham paid another visit to her friends in Boston, of whom she spoke with much affection and esteem. She used to mention, with peculiar approbation, a society of pious ladies there, who met once in every week for prayer and mutual edification.
On returning to New York, she again wrote to her friend Mrs.