Part 15 (1/2)

”Can all the philosophic ingenuity of London, this evening, produce such a scene? The gardens no doubt will be glorious, but the groundwork is also G.o.d's; but why say I that in particular? All is his; the very notes that warble through so many guilty throats are his creation; all the art of man cannot add to their number. Sweet bird, thy notes are innocent, O how sweet. Lovely trees--ye who stand erect, and ye who weep and wave; I wish no brighter scene. The shadows lengthen fast, so do yours and mine, my sovereign;* a few, a very few anniversaries, and we must change the scene--change to where no courtiers flatter, no false meteors blaze--where shadows flee away, realities appear, and nothing but realities will stand in any stead.

*Mrs. Graham received a pension as a British officer's widow until her death.

”O may we meet; for me, I nothing have, I nothing am. But One there is, who was and is all that the mind of saint or angel can conceive of glory and of happiness; and he is mine, and I am most blessed. Lengthen on, ye shadows, until all is shadow on these orbs of flesh. Then, O then,

”'My captive soul set free From cloggish earth which oft has made me sigh, Ascends the eternal hills, as seen to see, As known to know, and grasp the Deity.'”

”1802.

”Our friend B---- has now proved how far it is safe to leave the fate of eternity unsettled. He is gone to the state of the dead: with whom his soul is gathered, He only knows whose mercy none ought to limit; he is gone to his own place; if without a Surety-righteousness, which he sought not after in health, we know where that place is; but after reading of a thief on the cross, nothing with G.o.d is impossible.

My mind is much impressed; that sentence rings in my ears, so often repeated, 'I am determined to do all the good I can, and leave the rest to G.o.d. I have no time to search.' Oh, oh, one thing is needful.

”'Life's a folly, age a dream Borne along the common stream, Earth's a bubble light as air, If my rest be centered there.

How can that be solid joy Which a moment may destroy?'

”Mr. B---- was seized with the fever in its most malignant form; for him every genius was exerted, and the medical store ransacked for the healing balsam, but in vain. The Judge calls for the soul, and the body must, at his command, dislodge its tenant; how awful, if no surety was at hand, if he must stand naked--we know the rest: did I say we know? O no. What can we know of that wrath which in the garden of Gethsemane, when no murderous hand was near, no high-priest, no council, or cross, wrung the blood through every pore of the pure, the innocent Lamb of G.o.d, supported by G.o.dhead. If such things were done in the green tree, what shall be done in the dry?”

Another of her grandchildren was shortly after removed by death; his illness is noticed in the following meditation:

”AUGUST, 1802.

”'And that which cometh into your mind shall not be at all, that ye say, We will be as the heathen, as the families of the countries, to serve wood and stone.' 'And I will bring you into the wilderness, and there will I plead with you face to face: like as I pleaded with your fathers in the wilderness of the land of Egypt, so will I plead with you, saith the Lord G.o.d; and I will cause you to pa.s.s under the rod, and I will bring you into the bond of the covenant.' 'And ye shall remember your ways, and all your doings, wherein ye have been defiled; and ye shall loathe yourselves in your own sight, for all your evils that ye have committed: and ye shall know that I am the Lord, when I have wrought with you for my name's sake, not according to your wicked ways, nor according to your corrupt doings, O ye house of Israel, saith the Lord G.o.d.' Ezek. 20:32, 35, 36, 43, 44.

”It is good, yes, Lord, it is all good; too often have we said, 'we will be as the heathen, to serve wood and stone.' Often hast thou chastened, often have we confessed, often resolved that we would walk more softly, more tenderly, more circ.u.mspectly before thee. But, alas, when thy hand is removed, when thou healest us, and restorest to us health, comfort, and our pleasant things, we wax fat and kick, nestle in our comfort, abuse thy gifts, and lose sight of the giver. Alas, Lord, thus it must ever be with us, when we keep not near to thee; we cannot walk one step alone without stumbling. Thou knowest these naturally wicked hearts, that they are deceitful above all things; they betray us before we are aware. Blessed, ever blessed be our G.o.d for his well-ordered covenant. Blessed for the discipline of it. O Lord, we are again in the wilderness, and under thy chastising rod: for weeks past, we have 'eaten no pleasant bread;' thy rod is still suspended over our pleasant, our dear child; the streams of life ebb, he sickens, he dies, if thou interfere not. But the issues of death are in thy hand, and our eyes are towards thee. In vain are all means, all medicines, if thou impart not the healing virtue. Thy weeping servants seek the healing virtue from thy waters, thy seas, thy pure air. All nature is in thy hand and ministers thy pleasure; to some conveying health, to some disease. An herb to be boiled in simple milk, as the figs for Hezekiah's boils, has been proposed, O let this prove the appointed means, or direct and point out that which thou wilt bless, and let our hearts and tongues give the glory to thee.

”We deserve this bereavement; but, Lord, what do we not deserve?

Even according to the const.i.tution of the covenant of grace, and consistent with thy pardoning, saving mercy, and all thy long-suffering, wert thou to take vengeance on our inventions, by exercising all thy threatened chastis.e.m.e.nts, should we ever be out of the furnace? But even in this view, thou never hast dealt with us as our iniquities deserved. 'He will not always chide, neither will he keep his anger for ever.' Thou hast, in thousands of instances, 'cast our sins behind thy back, into the midst of the sea; blotted them out, to remember them no more for ever. Thy ways are not as our ways, nor thy thoughts as our thoughts,' We may plead, 'Deal not with us as we sin; but according to the mult.i.tude of thy mercies blot out our transgressions. Pardon our iniquity, for it is great.' Affliction is appointed, but it is 'in measure, when it shooteth forth.' O debate with it, and according to thy promise, 'stay thy rough wind in the day of thine east wind.' Lord, say it is enough, give the blessing, and by this measure shall iniquity be purged, and the fruit be to take away sin. All means are alike in thy hand, and any measure. In holy sovereignty and consummate wisdom thou afflictest, and in thy hand afflictions yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness: the hearts of thy people are melted, and they sing of mercy and of judgment, and glorify thy name. But, O Lord, a look, such as thou gavest to Peter, will melt our hearts and restore our backsliding souls. The announcing of our pardon by the same power, will make them overflow with love. If thou but call us by name, as thou didst her who sought thee at thy sepulchre, with the same power we shall recognize our Saviour and wors.h.i.+p him.

”O Lord our G.o.d, ever faithful to thy promises, thou hast said, 'Whatsoever ye ask in my name, believing that ye receive, I will do it.' O Lord, I ask not the life of this child on this ground. I have through life asked one thing of thee, and that will I seek to obtain while life and breath remain, and reason and grace; I will seek it, seek it with importunity, holding fast by thy promise to do it, and believing that it shall be according to my pet.i.tion. Make good to me this thy promise, in a spiritual and eternal sense. Be my G.o.d, and the G.o.d of my children, and of my children's children, to the latest generation. Let my children according to the flesh, be thine by regeneration of the Holy Ghost: it is a great boon; but hast thou not said, 'Open thy mouth wide, I will fill it?' Father, do as thou hast said: this is my one pet.i.tion, and I cannot be said nay. I ask for myself, my children, and my children's children, to the latest generation, the life which Christ died to purchase, and lives to bestow, that we may be made one with him, and our life hid with him in G.o.d. Amen, and Amen.

”But, O my Father, thou hast said, 'Be careful for nothing; but in every thing, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto G.o.d.' I ask, with submission to thy holy will, if consistent with thy glory, his good, and the good of the parents, the life of this child; that thou mayest spare him for our comfort, but first for thine own glory; that thou mayest give the different branches of this family a joyful meeting, a full feast of grateful thanks to thee for all thy mercies; and our hearts may rejoice before thee for the abundance of comfort. Shouldst thou, in thy adorable wisdom, otherwise determine, thy blessed and thy holy will be done. Wash the soul of this child in the blood of Jesus, clothe him with thy righteousness, sanctify him by thy Spirit, and fit him in every respect for thy kingdom. And O, my divine Redeemer, I renew my pet.i.tion which thou didst so evidently grant in the case of our dear Isabella: take him in thine arms of mercy; soften and shorten the parting pangs, and carry him gently through the dark valley, and give him an abundant entrance into thy heavenly kingdom, to join the hosannas of thy little children, of whom thy kingdom is partly made up: and O, sanctify the affliction to all concerned; direct our discipline according as thine all-seeing, heart-searching eye sees we need; that it may bring forth the peaceable fruits of righteousness, and 'the fruit of affliction be to take away sin,' and the glory of all redound to thee, Father, Son, and blessed Spirit. Amen, and Amen.”

”SEPTEMBER, 1802.

”'What manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation?'

”'O give thanks unto G.o.d, for he is good; his mercy endureth for ever.'

”'How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O G.o.d; how great is the sum of them.'

”'If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand.

When I awake I am still with thee.'

”'The Lord is gracious and full of compa.s.sion, slow to anger, and of great mercy.'

”'The Lord is good to all, and his tender mercies are over all his works.'