Part 14 (1/2)

”July 28, 1801.

”My dear pastor, Mr. M----, sailed for Britain. I thank thee, good and kind Shepherd of Israel, for all those providences, which seemed small things at the time, that hedged me into that congregation; for all the benefits and comforts I enjoyed under the ministry of thy aged servant now before thy throne, and that thou preparedst thy young servant to fill his place when the time of his departure came.

”I thank thee for all the endowments of our young pastor, of nature and grace. I thank thee, that thou hast kept him faithful to Him who has called him, and for the precious treasure thou hast put in that earthen vessel.

”Now, Lord, that thou hast called him to leave his family and his flock, to travel to a foreign land in the service which thou requirest, go with him, prosper him, overrule all his concerns for thy glory, the good of his soul, of the church in general, and his own little flock in particular. Amen. Glorify thy name”

CHAPTER VIII.

JOURNAL AND LETTERS--LADIES' SCHOOL FOR POOR CHILDREN.

”NOVEMBER 22, 1801.

”ISABELLA SMITH,” a grandchild, ”is very ill; she appears to be in a stupor. Two physicians are attending, but my eyes are to the Lord. She is his own, given to him by faith, as a covenant G.o.d in Christ for her in particular, for ourselves and our children. I desire not to draw back, but, the Lord strengthening me, to give up at his call. If it be his will to spare her, she is still his own, to be done by, with, and for, as his infinite wisdom may see fit, for his own glory and her eternal interest. If he is about to remove her out of the world, she is his own; out of the mouth of this babe will he perfect praise; with that company of whom is the kingdom of heaven, she shall join in the song of Moses and the Lamb, 'to Him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood, to him be glory, honor, dominion, and power.'

”O Lord, one pet.i.tion I prefer--if it be thy will to take her out of the world, take her in thine arms and carry her through the dark valley; grant to her a gentle and easy pa.s.sage, and an abundant entrance into thy kingdom; and tune our hearts to sing, 'The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.'

Amen.”

”NOVEMBER 23.

”This day the dear Isabella joined the church triumphant, and took her place among that company which Christ has p.r.o.nounced blessed.

I yesterday asked of the Lord that he would take her in his arms and carry her through the dark valley, that he would give her a gentle and easy pa.s.sage, and an abundant entrance into his kingdom. He heard my prayer; it was indeed soft and gentle; not a struggle, not a groan; and the affliction which brought down the frame was moderate throughout. I was enabled to resign the Lord's own into his own hand, in the faith that he did receive, and would keep that which I committed to him.

”My soul is satisfied--more than satisfied; I rejoice, and congratulate the lovely babe on her early escape from a world of sin and sorrow, to the arms of her dear Redeemer, and to perfect blessedness with him.”

”NOVEMBER 24.

”It is done--finished--the soul with G.o.d, the body in the tomb.

It is all well; yes, our covenant G.o.d, thou doest all things well. I firmly believe thy mercy is over all thy works. Goodness, mercy, yea, loving-kindness has marked thy every step. I believe it now. I shall see it soon.

”Now, our G.o.d, follow this bereavement with thy purifying, sanctifying grace. Enable us all to search and try our ways. Lead our souls into a knowledge of the secret corruptions of our hearts, that we may confess and mourn over them, wash in the blood of Christ, be pardoned, restored, and get a great victory. Enable us through life to abide in Christ; to keep close to thee, transacting all our affairs with thee, before they come into the view of the world. Let thy wisdom and thy Spirit, in connection with thy providences, be our counsellors. O keep us in a dependent frame of mind, humble and watchful. Strip us of all self-confidence. May we at the same time be strong in the Lord and in the power of thy might; rejoicing in thee, the G.o.d of our salvation, the strength of our heart, and our portion for ever. Glory, glory, glory, to Father, Son, and blessed Spirit.

Amen, and Amen.”

”DECEMBER, 1801.

”It is my earnest desire to 'grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,' It is my desire to love the Lord my G.o.d with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength, and with all my mind; and to love my neighbor as myself, so as to do to Mm whatever I could expect from Christian principles in him, on an exchange of circ.u.mstances.

”It is my desire to give all diligence to add to my faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge temperance, to temperance patience, to patience G.o.dliness, to G.o.dliness brotherly kindness, to brotherly kindness charity, that these things being in me and abounding, I may be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

”I desire to grow in grace day by day, to profit by every ordinance of G.o.d's appointing, and by every providence; and I pray, Lord, I pray that thou wouldst grant me my desire, so as that I may become more spiritual, more discerning in the Scriptures, more fruitful in good works: that thou mayest increase also my humility.

Open to my view more of the extent and spirituality of thy divine law; the majesty, purity, holiness, of thy nature; the exceeding sinfulness of sin; the hidden corruptions of my own heart, and my inability to search them out, and to crucify them: give me also more just views of my past life, that I may ever be convinced that I am, what I really am, the very chief of sinners, and the least of all saints; and that it is entirely of grace that I am what I am. O make out this promise to me; I will record it in thine own words: 'I will establish my covenant with thee: and thou shalt know that I am the Lord,' Ezekiel 16:62. I confess myself the character described in the two foregoing chapters; and though thou hast chastened me ten thousand times less than my iniquities deserve, even by the const.i.tution of the new covenant, thou hast chastened me. Now, O Lord, most merciful and gracious, who 'pardonest iniquity, transgression, and sin,' for thy name's sake, do to and for me as thou hast said: 'I will establish my covenant with thee; and thou shalt know that I am the Lord. That thou mayest remember, and be confounded, and never open thy mouth any more because of thy shame, when I am pacified towards thee for all that thou hast done, saith the Lord G.o.d.' Amen.”

To Mr. and Mrs. B----, in Britain.