Chapter 52 - Volume 2 (1/2)

I open my eyes. I’m here, calmly thinking ‘not again’ at the jet black darkness that spreads around me. I feel like someone is calling out to me, but right now I can’t possibly know who that is.

Well, just what happened to me? I had certainly confirmed in the palace garden that Celves was the culprit that casted the curse on me——then I protected that man from Celves’s blade of light, and I have no memory of what happened after that. By the time I realized it, I was here. I probably, or rather, certainly collapsed by that blade of light and lost consciousness. After that, I must have been led onto this regular nightmare course as always, or something like that.

『……He’s probably angry again.』

Those whispered words echo surprisingly loud in the darkness. ‘Oh?’ I think, perplexed. Usually, my voice doesn’t even come out, drowning in the darkness.

Some time has passed since I even saw this nightmare, but this is the first time I’ve truly sensed this, strangely.

I don’t know for sure how strong that man is, being the head wizard of the royal palace and the savior of the world. But if he has enough ability to be called those titles, then getting hit by that blade probably wouldn’t have been a big deal for him. If so, then I may have done too much, and he’s certainly angry. But, could I really have helped it? My body moved by itself.

Nevertheless, what the heck am I supposed to do now? Where should I go in this place, where I don’t even have any sense of direction? ‘Maybe I can’t go anywhere at all.’ That thought crosses my mind. As if proving it, the mud-like darkness coils around my foot the second I take a step forward. Temperature-less, it tries to drag me downwards to where I can’t see, and I sit down right there.

Then, I see the sight of that man and the young girl with strawberry blonde hair standing beside him, as if a spotlight shines on the two of them in the darkness. The sight of Lunamerie happily talking about something, and that man agreeing with her. Perhaps it’s because I’ve known him for so long, I can tell that although at a glance he looks like he doesn’t care, but in reality his expression is not that annoyed. It’s so ironic, though.

If it was the same dream as usual, I would hesitate at the sight of the two of them. But for some reason, right now, I don’t do that.

Shaking off the darkness coiling around me, I stand up and walk towards them. Each and every single step feels terribly heavy, but I can’t really care about that. Forcibly ripping off the hem of my dress, I determinedly head towards them.

There’s no signs of them noticing me, as I move frantically like an idiot. But I don’t even care about that.

『Edi!』

I call out that name now, that I haven’t ever been able to call out in this nightmare before.

Edi.

His nickname, only allowed for me, that only I can call him. My special privilege he gave me, more beloved than anything else. But though I think he looked at me for a second, he immediately drops his gaze to Lunamerie again. That’s when I believe it for sure.

『You’re not my Edi, are you?』

In that second, the man standing beside Lunamerie crumbles down like a clay doll.

Whatever it was that took his appearance, it dissolves and disappears in the darkness. ‘I thought so,’ I mutter voicelessly. It really wasn’t that man. It was just a counterfeit copy, taking his appearance.

I think it was well-made. But that’s wrong. Why didn’t I realize sooner? If I say ‘Edi’, he always responds in one way or another without fail. Well, it also depends on the situation what feelings he puts in his response, but it’s impossible for him not to respond when I call him. Certainly, when we fight I end up having to call him countless times, but that’s a different story because he enjoys it then. At the very least, it’s impossible from the real Agedilus’s perspective to just completely ignore me like this.

The thing that took his appearance isn’t there anymore. Left there is Lunamerie alone.

『Lu……』

I try to call out to her, but I reflexively shut my mouth. Her deep purple eyes stare at me. Her face is expressionless, the loveliness of her features becomes vague, truly looking like a human-size doll. A chill runs down my spine for some reason. I realize too late that I’m being watched. If this Lunamerie in front of me is the same as the clay doll pretending to be that man, surely she’s a fake too, the essence of this mud-like darkness. But despite that, why? Right now, she’s just like——……

『—?!』

My feet suddenly sink down. I can’t even fix my posture. Unable to do anything, I’m just swallowed up by the darkness at my feet, then sinking down. The crying voice steadily gets louder. My instinctive scream too, is swallowed up by that crying voice.

I sink down further and further. My sense of time grows vague. Then, how much time must have passed, I wonder? I’ve already grown tired of screaming, endlessly listening to the crying voice. That’s when my feet suddenly land to the ground. I say ‘ground’ but really, it’s all jet black darkness, so I can only tell by sensation that there’s ground under me.

I try to take a step forward like before but I fail. I end up falling and sitting down again. But even so, I somehow manage to stand up, certainly progressing further one stem at a time. If you ask me whether my destination really is in front of me, I’m not very confident about that. But I know. That when I arrive, 『she』 will be there, always, always crying.

『————Look, I knew it.』

『She』 is here, crouching, surrounded by black thorny vines. 『She,』 who ceaselessly sheds tears as if she’s forgotten everything but crying.

——I didn’t want to die……!

Finally clearly understanding that voice, I look through the vines at 『her』.

She has black hair that isn’t dyed, that no one in this world except that man can possibly have. Dark brown, almost black eyes. 『She』 has all these features like it’s only natural… No, I’ll stop talking in this roundabout way. I know who 『she』 is.

『She』 is me.

『Me』, who lost her life from an unexpected purse-snatcher of all things on a planet called Earth, before I became who I am right now. The first time I remembered this 『me』. I was 3 years old. This is 『me』 who my young self couldn’t react to, and who still isn’t accepting death.

I touch the thorns surrounding 『me』. The black thorns are ominous, reminding me of the patterns on both of Celves’s arms. At the same time, thoughts start pouring into me like a storm from my fingertip as it touches the thorny vine.

Die. Die. Die. 『I』 didn’t want to die. 『I』 didn’t want to die. Why did 『I』 have to die? 『I』 didn’t want to die. Die. Die. The more Filmina lives as Filmina, the more 『I』 disappear. 『I』 didn’t want to die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. But 『I’m』 still being killed. 『I』 hate it. 『I』 don’t want to die anymore. 『I』 don’t want to die. Die. Die. 『I』 don’t want to die. 『I』 don’t want to die. 『I』 don’t want to die.

I immediately pull my hand away from the thorn. There’s an awful burn on my fingertip even though I only touched it for just a moment. Holding my hurting hand, I can do nothing but keep looking at 『me』.

It seems anger and fear of dying has isolated 『me』 from me, helping the curse. These thorny vines must be the last stronghold of the curse. I’m sure they are. These black thorns are 『my』 last dam. A castle that deteriorated the curse, made to protect 『me』. At the same time, it’s also a cage that imprisons 『me』.

I take a deep breath once. Then I reach out my hand into the thorns, tearing off those vines, and begin to step further.