Chapter 8 - Volume 1 (1/2)

Or so I thought.

Is this a dream? Or an illusion?

First, I tried reaching out to the white face in front of me. It feels warm. As I stroke that cheek, his sunrise-colored eyes narrow like it feels good. That beautiful face is unbelievable, as he gently presses it further against my hand.

So it definitely is a dream? Or an illusion? I have to make sure. Making that my heart’s mission, I suddenly pinched that cheek before he had any chance to argue.

「~~~~~~!」

With a soundless scream, he rips my hand off his face. The thin, angular hand he grasped mine with feels warm too.

The cheek I’d pinched with all my might indeed looks like it considerably hurt. Those sunrise-colored eyes, taller than me, had grown slightly wet — very slightly, but they did.

——Tsk tsk, what a pathetic face.

I didn’t say that out loud, but his expression was far more eloquent than what I thought, as he glared at me. To be glared at by such androgynous beauty is unbelievably intense. Well, I’m used to it, though.

「What are you doing?!」

「I thought you were a dream.」

「Who’s a dream, who?!」

How many years has it been since I’d heard that pleasant-sounding voice sound so harsh? Yep, it definitely feels like a dream. The man I knew wasn’t the type of man to expose his emotions like this.

「I wonder if it’s because I haven’t been sleeping much lately…… Ah, it’s no good, just like Suzette says.」

「Oi, what are you saying?!」

For some reason, the illusion in front of me keeps saying a lot of things, but it all has to be a hallucination thanks to my lack of sleep. How long had it been since I’d been unable to sleep?

Even if the world’s in applause over the demon king’s defeat and today was the parade of the party of heroes’ triumphant return, I still couldn’t sleep.

My appetite has sharply decreased, so I’ve thankfully lost a lot of weight, but it isn’t in the healthy way that I’d get compliments on it — I look too thin now. That plus my lack of sleep was a double-punch to my skin, which is now crumbling. My eyebags have grown to the point I can’t hide them with makeup.

I’d finally stopped worrying about having my looks compared to his when he died – he really is the kind of man to keep tormenting me even after dying.

While my parents quietly let me be, my wet nurse fusses over me, saying, 「I’m not leaving until you fall asleep, my lady!」 And my brother says the most sister-complex things like, 「Sis, you should just forget about a man like that. I’m going to take care of you and keep you happy.」 My wet nurse say, 「In any case, your sister would first like you to get rid of that sister complex; I wonder if her spoiling you since you were little has backfired?」

But setting that aside, this is the man my brother always called 『a man like that』.

It’s completely unbelievable to think that man can exist in reality right in front of me. ……Yes, this can only be a dream.

「I say, how about I take a little nap? Oh, that’s right, the medicinal tea is certainly……」

「Snap out of it, Filmina!」

「—!」

The second I turned my eyes away from the illusion in front of me and stepped away, he grabbed my arms. I felt red hot; the scars on my back start aching.

‘No way,’ whispers the 『me』 that lived somewhere in my head. That 『me』 starts to desperately hold on to me, trying to see ‘reality’, not believing this can be possible. I shook 『me』 off, timidly looking up at that face I couldn’t even find in my dreams.

What I see are those beautiful sunrise-colored eyes. I felt my lips tremble.

「——Edi?」

「Yes.」

「Why have you come here?」

「Is that bad?」

「It’s not bad. It’s just… Strange.」

In contrast to his somewhat disappointed voice, I manage to keep calmly talking, sounding disinterested enough to surprise even myself.

He’s right in front of me. That man who I’ve heard no news of since the day of the report, Agedilus Von Lancent, was here. Just how is this possible?

「I really thought—」

「That I’d died?」

「Yes.」

「Well, must be a shame that I’ve come back alive.」

「…….Yes. …….No, no. …Yes.」

「Yes or no?」

I’m so confused over what to say, I end up saying meaningless words. He knitts his eyebrows at me. His voice, mixed with irritation, feels so nostalgic.

That reminds me, that’s right. Although he was usually composed, he did often get angry whenever I beat around the bush with my words like this. For example, if I did that on the topic of marriage, or such.

He was indebted to me. Indebted because he was just marrying me because of the scars on my back, right? I mean, that’s true, right? There was no other reason for the head palace magician to continue keeping me as his fiancée, I who was average at best in both looks and ability.

Even if his jet black hair is feared of and kept away from by many people, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t better people out there that want him despite that.

The only card I had was the childhood friend card, and the scars on my back card. It wasn’t like he really wanted to marry me. I just didn’t want to act like I was using his feelings of obligation towards me. This wasn’t what he thought, but my own stubbornness. I myself think I’m a very unlovable, not very charming woman.

There were also times I felt sorry for him to have to marry a woman like me. But even so, I wouldn’t surrender, that’s why I always beat around the bush with my words, and so, that’s why, umm –– ugh, I really don’t understand anymore.

I take my own confusion considerably lightly. He was alive. He was alive. I can do nothing but repeat that internally, looking up at him, dumbfounded. He continues talking smoothly, without any hesitation or anything.

He said he did almost lose his life from the great magic.

That great magic wasn’t the kind that would exchange your life with something else or anything, it would simply take the life of whoever was in the center of explosion, i.e. the person who cast it. He had already been studying this magic from before, and just managed to cast a teleportation spell in the nick of time, barely escaping with his life.

It was a gamble, but in the end, he made it. Just barely, but he kept his life. And then he didn’t tell even his partners about his survival to lure the demon king’s armies into being less prepared, while carrying out secret missions of his own.

And then, apparently he met up with them right in front of the demon king’s castle in the city he’d captured, and magnificently defeated him with the other heroes.