Chapter 7 - Volume 1 (1/2)

—I had a nostalgic dream.

A dream that started the morning I met him to the night we were parted.

I didn’t go to see him off as he quietly left, so that night was in fact our last meeting. I still remember it so clearly. I remember his white face, illuminated by the moonlight, the shadow of his long, upturned eyelashes, the beauty of his flickering sunrise-colored eyes.

Laughing at myself for being like that, I internally sigh as a slow realization builds up within me. That indeed, I was still looking at everything with rose-colored glasses. It made me realize that I’d meant to prepare myself for the worst, but in the end, that’s all it was — I 「meant」 to do it. I’d never have thought that I’d collapse from the shock, it’s not like me. Really, it’s not at all like me.

「My lady, have you awakened?」

「Suzette?」

Just as I opened my eyes, thinking about that, the relieved voice of my wet nurse reached my ears. That voice made me realize this was reality. Reality that I could do nothing but accept, even though that was the last thing I wanted to do.

What the messenger from the royal palace had brought was, sure enough, the news of that man’s death. No, to be more precise, maybe calling it ‘news of death’ is too much. Since we were just told that the chances of his being alive were very slim. …….Either way, it sounded like a report of his death.

It seemed they had been attacked in the middle of the trip by a high-ranking demon, said to be the strongest even among the demon king’s inner circle. He willingly became a decoy and used some grand magic. Magic so powerful that it was said to have taken the lives of all the wizards that used it, leaving no successful survivors. Apparently the magic had relentlessly gouged out even part of a large nearby ancient forest. The other heroes had been transported to the nearest inn town thanks to his magic, and once they returned for him, they found nothing but his wand stuck into the ground.

I also heard that that man’s apprentice had left the royal capital to follow the troupe of heroes in his master’s place. I’d seen that apprentice just once.

At first, I hadn’t even thought that he would ever take on an apprentice. Because if he had enough free time for an apprentice, he was the type that would use it to further his own studies and research.

The apprentice he’d taken on had hair rather like Uncle Lancent’s, an ashy silver mixed with black. I did think once, ‘this guy has a father complex!’

I must be such a cold-hearted person to hear about this young introverted boy who was scared of strangers to be headed towards his death, and think 「it doesn’t matter.」

But even so, the truth is, it really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. That’s what I thought.

「My lady, please do not be disheartened. The messenger may have said what he did, but do you truly think that Sir Agedilus can be done in so easily by a demon king of all things?」

「……Thank you, Suzette.」

I smiled at her as she desperately tried to convince me. Her being concerned about me made me happy. She was usually so strict, but I know she did all that with my best interests in mind. Her kindness and warmth have always saved me.

Even that man was no match for her. I wanted to nod and agree with what she said. I wanted to nod and feel relieved.

But, please.

「Could you please let me by myself for a little while?」

The second I smiled and said that, she looked heartbroken, narrowing her eyes. Aah, I’ve done it, I might’ve messed up here. Maybe I didn’t smile properly. But before I could say anything, she bowed and left the room. I was left alone, watching her leave.

I sat up in bed. My head hurt, throbbing in pain. The words I’d heard from that messenger before I passed out kept repeating in my head.

「He willingly became a decoy」? What even was that about? He wasn’t the type to be so valiant and admirable as that, was he? He was never the kind of man who would do something like give up his life for someone else, right? He was rather obstinate — cynical and sarcastic, doing as he pleased to the point where he’d show up unannounced at a young lady’s house, focusing on his job above all else.

Why would someone like that willingly use themselves as a decoy? Was it because of his mission? Was it because he judged it to be the most rational course of action? Or was it because he was that charmed by the 「heroine」… The princess?

「……Idiot.」

That’s why I objected to this. Though I couldn’t object more than just once.

It was the first time I’d ever asked anything of that man, that man who’d turned from ‘that boy’ to ‘that man’ in the blink of an eye. It was the first time I was pleaded with him. 「Don’t go.」

From the moment I was cut off and deserted, I had a gut feeling that this would happen.

「—Ah..」

As I let my mind wander, I felt like I was about to start sobbing. I bit my lip to stop myself, and a strange ‘guh!’ sound escaped my throat. Instead of the sobs, my tears started to fall endlessly. Even as I covered my face with my hands, they wouldn’t stop.

At least, at least, at least.