Volume Iv Part 31 (2/2)

L. _Fan._ Then I'm not so much oblig'd to thee,--but where's the Money, the 8000_l._ the Plate and Jewels, Sirrah?

_Wit._ Death, the Dog has eat it.

Sir _Cred._ Eat it! Oh Lord, eat 8000_l._ Wou'd I might never come out of this Basket alive, if ever I made such a Meal in my Life.

_Wit._ Ye Dog, you have eat it; and I'll make ye swallow all the Doses you writ in your Bill, but I'll have it upward or downward.

[Aside.

Sir _Pat._ Hah, one of the Rogues my Doctors.

Sir _Cred._ Oh, dear Sir, hang me out of the way rather.

Enter _Maundy_.

_Maun._ Madam, I have sent away the Basket to Mr. _Wittmore's_ Lodgings.

L. _Fan._ You might have sav'd your self that Labour, I now having no more to do, but to bury the stinking Corps of my quandom Cuckold, dismiss his Daughters, and give thee quiet possession of all.

[To _Wit._

Sir _Pat._ Fair Lady, you'll take me along with you?

[Snaps, pulls off his Hat, and comes up to her.

L. _Fan._ My Husband!--I'm betray'd--

Sir _Pat._ Husband! I do defy thee, Satan, thou greater Wh.o.r.e than she of _Babylon_; thou Shame, thou Abomination to thy s.e.x.

L. _Fan._ Rail on, whilst I dispose my self to laugh at thee.

Sir _Pat._ _Leander_, call all the House in to be a Witness of our Divorce.

[Exit _Lean._

L. _Fan._ Do, and all the World, and let 'em know the Reason.

Sir _Pat._ Methinks I find an Inclination to swear,--to curse my self and thee, that I cou'd no better discern thee; nay, I'm so chang'd from what I was, that I think I cou'd even approve of Monarchy and Church-Discipline, I'm so truly convinc'd I have been a Beast and an a.s.s all my Life.

Enter Lady _Knowell_, _Isabella_, _Lucretia_, _Leander_, _Lodwick_, _f.a.n.n.y_, &c.

L. _Kno._ Hah, Sir _Patient_ not dead?

Sir _Pat._ Ladies and Gentlemen, take notice that I am a Cuckold, a crop-ear'd snivelling Cuckold.

Sir _Cred._ A Cuckold! sweet Sir, shaw, that's a small matter in a Man of your Quality.

Sir _Pat._ And I beg your pardon, Madam, for being angry that you call'd me so. [To L. _Kno._] And yours, dear _Isabella_, for desiring you to marry my good Friend there [Points to _Wit._] whose name I perceive I was mistaken in:--and yours, _Leander_, that I wou'd not take your Advice long since: and yours, fair Lady, for believing you honest,--'twas done like a credulous c.o.xcomb:--and yours, Sir, for taking any of your Tribe for wise, learned or honest.

[To Sir _Credulous_.

_Wit._ Faith, Sir, I deceiv'd ye only to serve my Friend; and, Sir, your Daughter is married to Mr _Knowell_: your Wife had all my stock of Love before, Sir.

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