Volume Iv Part 32 (1/2)

[_Lod._ and _Isab._ kneel.

Sir _Pat._ Why, G.o.d-a-mercy--some comfort that,--G.o.d bless ye.--I shall love Disobedience while I live for't.

_Lod._ I am glad on't, Sir, for then I hope you will forgive _Leander_, who has married my Sister, and not my Mother.

Sir _Pat._ How! has he served me so?--I'll make him my Heir for't, thou hast made a Man of me, my Boy, and, faith, we will be merry,--Fair Lady, you may depart in peace, fair Lady, restoring my Money, my Plate, my Jewels and my Writings, fair Lady.--

L. _Fan._ You gave me no Money, Sir, prove it if you can; and for your Land, 'twas not settled with this Proviso, if she be honest?

Sir _Pat._ 'Tis well thou dost confess I am a Cuckold, for I wou'd have it known, fair Lady.

L. _Fan._ 'Twas to that end I married you, good Alderman.

Sir _Pat._ I'faith, I think thou didst, Sweet-heart, i'faith, I think thou didst.

_Wit._ Right, Sir, we have long been Lovers, but want of Fortune made us contrive how to marry her to your good Wors.h.i.+p. Many a wealthy Citizen, Sir, has contributed to the maintenance of a younger Brother's Mistress; and you are not the first Man in Office that has been a Cuckold, Sir.

Sir _Pat._ Some comfort that too, the Brethren of the Chain cannot laugh at me.

Sir _Cred._ A very pleasant old Fellow this: faith, I cou'd be very merry with him now, but that I am d.a.m.nable sad.--Madam, I shall desire to lay the Saddle on the right Horse.

[To L. _Kno._

L. _Kno._ What mean you, Sir?

Sir _Cred._ Only, Madam, if I were as some Men are, I should not be as I am.

L. _Kno._ It may be so, Sir.

Sir _Cred._ I say no more, but matters are not carried so swimmingly, but I can dive into the meaning on't.

[Sir _Patient_ talks this while to _Lodwick_.

L. _Kno._ I hate this hypothetical way of arguing, answer me categorically.

Sir _Cred._ Hypothetical and Categorical! what does she mean now?

[Aside.] --Madam, in plain _English_, I am made a _John-a-Nokes_ of, _Jack-hold-my-staff_, a _Merry Andrew_ Doctor, to give _Leander_ time to marry your Daughter; and 'twas therefore I was hoisted up in the Basket;--but as the play says, 'tis well 'tis no worse: I'd rather lose my Mistress than my Life.

Sir _Pat._ But how came this Rascal _Turboon_ to admit you?

_Lod._ For the Lucre of our Fees, Sir, which was his recompence.

Sir _Pat._ I forgive it you, and will turn Spark, they live the merriest Lives--keep some City Mistress, go to Court, and hate all Conventicles.

_You see what a fine City-Wife can do Of the true-breed; instruct her Husband too: I wish all civil Cuckolds in the Nation Would take example by my Reformation._

EPILOGUE,

Spoken by Mrs. _Gwin_.

I here and there o'erheard a c.o.xcomb cry, [Looking about.