Volume Ii Part 58 (1/2)

_Fop_. Ay, but how, Sir?

_Wild_. Why, from the old Fountain, _Jack_, my Uncle; he has himself decreed it: He tells me I must live upon my Wits, and will, _Frank_.

_Fop_. Gad, I'm impatient to know how.

_Wild_. I believe thee, for thou art out at Elbows; and when I thrive, you show it i'th' Pit, behind the Scenes, and at Coffee-houses. Thy Breeches give a better account of my Fortune, than Lilly with all his Schemes and Stars.

_Fop_. I own I thrive by your influence, Sir.

_Dres_. Well, but to your Project, Friend, to which I'll set a helping Hand, a Heart, a Sword, and Fortune.

_Wild_. You make good what my Soul conceives of you. Let's to _Diana_ then, and there I'll tell thee all.

[_Going out, they meet_ Diana, _who enters with her Maid_ Betty, _and Boy, looks angrily_.

--_Diana_, I was just going to thy Lodgings!

_Dia_. Oh, las, you are too much taken up with your rich City-Heiress.

_Wild_. That's no cause of quarrel between you and I, _Diana_: you were wont to be as impatient for my marrying, as I for the Death of my Uncle; for your rich Wife ever obliges her Husband's Mistress; and Women of your sort, _Diana_, ever thrive better by Adultery than Fornication.

_Dia_. Do, try to appease the easy Fool with these fine Expectations--No, I have been too often flatter'd with the hopes of your marrying a rich Wife, and then I was to have a Settlement; but instead of that, things go backward with me, my Coach is vanish'd, my Servants dwindled into one necessary Woman and a Boy, which to save Charges, is too small for any Service; my twenty Guineas a Week, into forty s.h.i.+llings; a hopeful Reformation!

_Wild_. Patience, _Diana_, things will mend in time.

_Dia_. When, I wonder? Summer's come, yet I am still in my embroider'd Manteau, when I'm drest, lin'd with Velvet; 'twould give one a Fever but to look at me: yet still I am flamm'd off with hopes of a rich Wife, whose Fortune I am to lavish.--But I see you have neither Conscience nor Religion in you; I wonder what a Devil will become of your Soul for thus deluding me!

[_Weeps_.

_Wild_. By Heaven, I love thee!

_Dia_. Love me! what if you do? how far will that go at the Exchange for Point? Will the Mercer take it for current Coin?--But 'tis no matter, I must love a Wit with a Pox, when I might have had so many Fools of Fortune: but the Devil take me, if you deceive me any longer.

[_Weeping_.

_Wild_. You'll keep your word, no doubt, now you have sworn.

_Dia_. So I will. I never go abroad, but I gain new Conquests. Happy's the Man that can approach nearest the Side-box where I sit at a Play, to look at me; but if I deign to smile on him, Lord, how the overjoy'd Creature returns it with a Bow low as the very Benches; Then rising, shakes his Ears, looks round with Pride, to see who took notice how much he was in favour with charming Mrs. _Dy_.

_Wild_. No more, come, let's be Friends, _Diana_; for you and I must manage an Uncle of mine.

_Dia_. d.a.m.n your Projects, I'll have none of 'em.

_Wild_. Here, here's the best softner of a Woman's Heart; 'tis Gold, two hundred Pieces: Go, lay it out, till you shame Quality into plain Silk and Fringe.

_Dia_. Lord, you have the strangest power of persuasion! Nay, if you buy my Peace, I can afford a Pennyworth.

_Wild_. So thou canst of anything about thee.

_Dia_. Well, your Project, my dear _Tommy_?

_Wild_. Thus then--Thou, dear _Frank_, shalt to my Uncle, tell him, that Sir _Nicholas Gett-all_, as he knows, being dead, and having left, as he knows too, one only Daughter his whole Executrix, Mrs. _Charlot_, I have by my civil and modest Behaviour, so won upon her Heart, that two Nights since she left her Father's Country-house at _Lusum_ in _Kent_, in spite of all her strict Guards, and run away with me.

_Dres_. How, wilt thou tell him of it, then?