Chapter 3 Part2 (1/2)

CHAPTER 3 (Part two)

Mahnu remembered her past and how the two young humans made such an important impact on her existence...

It was a couple of years after leaving the old hut and regaining her strength against her emotions, when she met the little girl around the year 680.

Mahnu was, at that time, still questioning herself and regretting all over again as she watched the silent small skirmishes from a far, the villagers growing, the corrupt and the greed that was happening all over Kralaide. Kings and Queens coming and going and the petty things that people did. The ones with the power not helping people but themselves.

The list, she thought, was too long to name everything. It doesn't help that I can read thoughts and see and feel all the sufferings.

Mahnu had always thought that she has had a cruel fate and whoever had created her must have hated her. But upon meeting the girl, Mahnu could think otherwise, even though it was for a short duration.

The girl she had meet had lost her family and also didn't speak at first. The girl thought that they had grown a small bond, as they had travelled together, but Mahnu had always kept a distance. The girl had blossomed to a degree that Mahnu was even envious. How can she be so happy with the circ.u.mstances? It didn't even take her long to start talking again, whereas Mahnu was sure at that time, she wouldn't ever speak again. Mahnu’s impression of the difference between her and the girl was quite magnificent, as it seemed like she forgave easily.

The little girl even had called Mahnu 'Rose' and she had wanted to be called ‘Princess’, in which Mahnu never called her in person.

But Mahnu did call her 'Princess' in her thoughts.

Mahnu had watched her actions. Princess had been the first human she had spent a decent amount of time with and sometimes she didn't understand anything that Princess did or said at all.

The smallest of things had made Princess smile, for instance, a flower, a b.u.t.terfly and learning how to fish and it had seemed stupid to Mahnu. But one day, as she pulled a flower apart, she thought that maybe it didn't interest her because she had existed for so long, that all the flowers looked the same.

She tried to remember what she had felt like to see a b.u.t.terfly for the first time. Had she been as entranced like Princess?

I guess I was, Mahnu had resigned to think.

The world had looked colourful and full of wonders, although she could only recall very little from the time when she was first created.

But why does the land look so bland now? She had wondered.

She had stopped herself, this girl was giving her questions in which she had no desire to have answered. If the world is bland, then that is how I'll live.

Mahnu’s heart had closed again.

A few years after taking in Princess, Mahnu had saved her from being taken from some thugs. The girl was thankful and while Mahnu had treated her wounds, Princess had said that life is too short to be sad.

Life is short? Is that why humans act the way they do? Mahnu had thought it over in her mind and found herself accepting that to make a lot of sense.

I am sure that I would be different if I knew I would die one day, she had thought...A lot different.

That thought had saddened Mahnu, so many times already, she had tried to end her existence and here this little girl was, trying so desperately hard to live and be happy. The want to live was something she had not felt for a very long time.

Mahnu had wondered if that was why humans feel that it's okay to murder another? Because they are just going to die one day anyway?

She had known humans did have a conscience, she felt it all the time. They worried and regretted just like she did, so if they had killed someone they would feel bad...right?

Then wouldn't it be better just not to kill that person?

Using that reason that they are going to die anyway is a shallow excuse for killing someone else…Mahnu wondered if her opinion of that was too harsh for humans…But it was confusing to her why they still murdered each other.

No! She had thought, I know humans value their lives…but when it comes to other people’s lives they do tend to get rather thoughtless. There must be another reason!

But is there a valid reason at all?

Even if people had killed someone first? Doesn’t that just breed an endless cycle of hate through revenge?

I still can’t understand the idea of humans killing others at all, Mahnu had thought. Am I being closed minded because I don’t want them to suffer so that I can sleep? Is that what selfish desires do, close your mind on other possibilities?

Always, always, questions without answers.

Mahnu had sighed then, she had never actually asked any of the humans how they felt about killing other people. Is it even worth asking them, she questioned.

Mahnu had thoughts of a human’s death, to another prospect. Especially to how Princess acted.

Humans seemed to want things impatiently, as though tomorrow would never come. They feared being hurt and worried about not getting things done before dying. They don’t like being alone and have that natural want to be with someone and reproduce.

Mahnu had been opened to these new things and could understand humans just a tiny bit more.

Mahnu had silently wanted to ask Princess what it was that she had desired, seeking to fulfil it.

In which, after some time, the girl answered by herself and that was to grow old with a loved one and have a family.

After this, Mahnu kept the distance but attempted, through observation, to find a good young man for her. It wasn't easy because Mahnu still refused to use her voice but she found someone good enough, in her opinion, and introduced them to one another through silent means.

Then the girl was gone…Married and had two kids.

Mahnu had returned a few times to see her from a far, refusing to admit that she had missed her. She had told herself that she was checking on the husband, to make sure she had chosen correctly and she had been relieved about her choice.

She had questioned love and wondered if it was that amazing? To live with someone for the rest of your human life?

Not me, she had thought, I'm immortal! A betrayer like me doesn't deserve happiness and…I highly doubt anyone would stay with me for eternity. What could I possibly give someone? I can’t have children and with my unchanging look…It just sounds so unrealistic.

Travelling alone, near a hundred years after Princess had died, Mahnu had met a young boy with angry eyes full of malice. Hearing and feeling the continued thoughts of the boy, his parents were killed in front of him and they had protected him. Mahnu, this time, travelled behind him, whereas with Princess she had travelled alongside. Following the boy silently, which she knew he was heading for revenge, Mahnu left food and stood guard while he slept. Protecting more than nurturing. Mahnu saw the obvious difference between the happy, enduring girl to the angry, rage filled boy. Princess had seen a lot more of her surroundings, whereas the boy was focused on his one goal.

Mahnu had felt very strange when she found that she could understand the boy more than Princess…Was it because being alone and thinking about death was nothing new to her. But is that not normal? She had wondered. Was Princess the strange one, being about to live happily even through what she had endured…?

The boy had asked once what Mahnu was doing, saying he knew about the food and her staying close by. But Mahnu hadn’t spoken and stepped away out of the boy’s sight.

Why am I keeping a distance? she had asked herself. Is it because of the girl? Was I... lonely after she left me? That’s wrong, she didn’t leave me, I left her! And so, even if I am lonely, isn’t that what I deserve?