Part 19 (1/2)
”- and the long talks we had about books.”
”- and how we lay in the gra.s.s?”
”- and how you told me about your work?”
”- and we kissed,”
”- and never wanted to stop.”
”Yes, I remember our summer.” His face had become serious again. ”It sustained me for almost four years.”
”I felt like the world had come to an end when mother told me you were my half-brother.”
”So did I, and then I cursed her... I still feel ashamed about it. She did what she thought she must do.”
”You're kinder to her than she deserves. She betrayed me. She sent me into the s.h.i.+elings, knowing that I would try to find you, and then had Robert follow me... I can't forgive her for this.”
They rode in silence for a while. Andrew picked up their conversation again: ”Yet, I still admire her. Don't judge her too harshly, Helen. She didn't have an easy life. All she wanted was to protect her family. And I'm not her family, even if she thinks that she gave birth to me.”
”Oh Andrew! How can you be so forgiving?”
”She was used by my father, like my own mother when she was sent there to learn to become a lady, and the little I know of my father's family tells me that they didn't make it easy for her once she was pregnant.”
”No, they didn't. She told me that she wasn't given a choice; that shortly after giving birth, she was sent back to her parents, without her child.”
”That's what aunt Lorna said.”
”Who is she? You have an aunt?”
”No, I just called her that when I was a boy. She used to look after me. She is the one who told me who my mother was.”
”Did you have any other siblings?”
”Not that I know of. I think after getting two girls pregnant, Lord Archibald was sent to England for several years. I remember seeing him for the first time when I was about five years old... Helen, please marry me! We will find another minister.”
”Let's not rush it.”
He searched her eyes and simply said: ”I love you.”
By late afternoon they got to the upper reaches of Endrick Waters, a river emptying into the southern sh.o.r.es of Loch Lomond. Hidden in a small coppice along the river, they rested and ate the remaining sausage, a slice of cheese, and bread. The clear stream meandering through bushes and stunted trees invited them to bathe. They both felt rather dirty and sweaty. Not just the healthy sweat of exertion, but the bitter, pungent sweat of fright and anxiety. They quickly shed their clothes and dipped into a dark pool of clear water, soaping themselves, their hair, and each other with Andrew's soap.
After changing into their riding gear, he retrieved the two wedding bands he had bought and offered her the smaller one without a word. She took it hesitantly, studied it, and then slipped it on the ring finger of her left hand. Holding up the hand in front of her, she looked at it and smiled bashfully. He put on his and kissed her cheek.
They were soon on their way west again, now keeping close to the ridges of the Campsie Fells, south of Endrick Waters, rather than to the more populated valley floor. They started looking out for a secluded glen to spend the night, where their horses could graze without risking discovery. Below the Corrie of Balgla.s.s, they saw a short valley, enclosed on three sides by steep crags, its entrance blocked by a dense copse of trees and bushes. Leading the horses on foot up the stony creek through the trees, they found a small meadow at its far end, offering succulent gra.s.ses for their horses.
They laughed with joy and spontaneously embraced. After releasing the horses, they lay on Andrew's riding coat, their first occasion for talking leisurely. Helen wanted to know everything of his travels. Dusk was settling into the glen when their stomachs a.s.serted themselves again, and they ate more cheese and bread. When darkness had swallowed the glen, they wrapped themselves in his coat, snuggling tightly up to each other, listening to the sounds of the night, until they fell asleep in each other's arms.
13.
Midmorning on the next day, they saw in the far distance the church tower of Killearn, surrounded by a few whitewash houses and cottages. Andrew turned south, and they soon joined the road to Glasgow. Their pace picked up, and they again watched out for a group of four riders. Periodically they cantered, letting their horses recover their strength in between. By late afternoon, the faint outlines of St. Mungo's Cathedral heralded their approach to Glasgow.
They put up at the Hotel of the Good Shepherd, the first inn they came across into Glasgow, just below St. Mungo's Cathedral at the intersection of Rottenrow Street with the top of High Street. This time, they were not met with suspicious glances. Helen's neat, fas.h.i.+onable outfit, their expensive looking horses, particularly the black stallion, and Andrew's impeccable English accent, cultivated for the occasion, were thoroughly convincing.
After a leisurely evening meal, crowned by an excellent bottle of French wine, Andrew suggested with a telling smile that they retire to their bedroom. Helen immediately knew what was on his mind, and what she wanted too. Once the door was securely locked, they smiled at each other, and without a word each began to undress the other teasingly, giggling, kissing, and cuddling.
”Oh, Helen, you're so lovely,” he whispered, holding her away from him, his hands on her hips, admiring her sensuous womanly curves. He bent forward and kissed her left nipple. She lifted her right breast for him to kiss also, giggling as he did. Their eyes met, full of antic.i.p.ation. She put her arms around his neck, and their bodies came together, skin on skin. He felt her soft, warm b.r.e.a.s.t.s against his chest. She clasped his hot manhood inside her thighs. They kissed, their tongues playfully teasing each other.
”It's the first time we make love in a bed, Helen,” he whispered.
She simply smiled and continued kissing him peckishly. ”Andrew, don't make me with child yet. Not as long as we aren't married and still on the run.”
Lying on the bed in blissful contentment, tenderly stroking each other, she said: ”Andrew, do you believe me that I never lay with Robert. He was lying.”
He kissed her nose. ”Yes, Helen, I do.”
”You're the only man I've ever been with,” she whispered, and then she added, accusingly: ”But you've been with other women, I know.”
”How do you know?” he replied, smiling.
”Because you're so much more skillful. You do things that you didn't do the first time we made love up on the lochan. Sometimes I can hardly stand it.”
”Maybe I just invented them, dreaming of making love to you these past four years.” There was a teasing twinkle in his eyes.
”Maybe you did dream of making love to me, but you also were with other women... You can't fool me!”
He nibbled on her left earlobe. ”Yes, I was with a few women,” he whispered huskily into her ear.
”Many! ... How many?”
”I don't know. I didn't keep track.”
She pulled away from him. ”That many?” Her voice had a.s.sumed a bellicose quality. ”I thought you loved me! And the moment you left me, you went to other women?”
”Love, none of them compared to you.”
”How can I believe you really loved me when you forgot me so quickly?”
”I couldn't forget you, nor did I love any of them. Initially, I tried to forget you, ... and then it dawned on me that I tried to find you in them. But I never did... I guess this is why I had to come back... I only love you.”
She was still sulking. He pulled her back in top of him. She tried to avoid his kiss.
”Helen, I never stopped loving you. Do you believe me?”