Part 9 (1/2)

Andrew gave a sigh of relief and then mused: ”She's a sweet girl. She always makes such an inquisitive face... I've often wished I had a sister. But then I didn't have a brother either, nor a mother or a father.” A frown darkened his face for a moment.

Helen reached out to touch his arm. Their eyes met.

”You're all I have, Helen,” he murmured, and then suddenly grabbed her. ”I want to hold you forever.”

She melted into his tight embrace, their lips warm on each other. Their foreheads touching, they held each other's eyes for a long time. She didn't want him to let go. ”I love you too, Andrew,” she whispered.

After trading peckish kisses, he exclaimed: ”Look, there's still all that food left that I brought for you.”

”Yes, you seem to want to fatten me up. There's enough for three here.”

”Yes, you're still skinny. I can feel your bones.” His hands traveled and down her back, exploring her spine.

”I'm not skinny.”

”No, you're not. You're beautiful.”

She raised her face to him and her eyes sparkled.

After they had finished the last honey biscuit, Helen said: ”I need to check on my goats.”

”I'll come with you.”

”I'll race you down,” she laughed and dashed off, Andrew close behind. At the bottom of the path he caught up with her, trying to kiss her. Giggling, she wiggled out of his grasp and ran off again, only to let herself be caught, responding eagerly to his kisses.

Suddenly, she pointed to the sky, exclaiming: ”Look!” and when Andrew looked, she darted off again, laughing loudly, dodging him, until out-of-breath they both slumped onto a patch of soft gra.s.s.

”I got you now,” he murmured, lying partially on top of her.

”You've got me forever, Andrew,” she replied and put her arms around his neck, pulling him down. They rubbed noses and then their lips met, gentle pressure, opening slightly, exploring, their tongues touching timidly, and then ever more pa.s.sionately.

Betty could hardly contain her excitement when she saw Andrew and Helen kiss. It was like in the book mother had brought up to the s.h.i.+elings, except this was for real. Helen must be so happy. She wished her sister would talk to her about it. And then she remembered again why she had been sent to the ridge. If she told, mother wouldn't let Helen go back to the lochan. Maybe she shouldn't tell her that they kissed, just that they met. She was in turmoil-the obedient daughter in her needing to tell the truth, the sister wanting to protect Helen. For a long time her feelings were seesawing back and forth. She didn't know what to do.

She put her head into her arms, closing her eyes, trying to come to a conclusion. When she looked up again, she saw Helen and Andrew chase each other in the heath. For a moment, she thought it looked silly. She had never seen two adults play like children. But then she noticed that they let themselves be caught again and again to steal a quick kiss, and she understood that this was their game of happiness. Suddenly, she wished that she would one day fancy a young man like Andrew who would play such games with her, and she knew at that moment that she couldn't betray her sister.

So, getting back to the s.h.i.+elings later than usual, she again reported that Helen had been alone all morning, as on the previous two days. She was glad when her mother told her that she did not have to go up there anymore.

That night, when Betty and Helen were lying close to each other on their straw mattress after their little brother was asleep and the adults were still talking outside the hut, enjoying the unusually balmy evening air, she whispered: ”Helen, mother made me spy on you.”

Her sister sucked in her breath. ”When?”

”The last three days... I saw you today.”

”You didn't tell mother, did you?”

She could feel her sister's heart beating suddenly faster. ”No, I said you were alone all morning. She said I needn't do it again. I think she believed me.”

Helen hugged her fervently. ”Oh my dear little sister, I love you. Thank you.”

”I saw you kiss.”

Helen did not answer, just held her closer.

”Do you love Andrew?”

”Yes.”

”Has he told you he loves you?”

”Yes, he has.”

Betty hoped that her sister would tell her more, but she simply whispered: ”I'm so happy.”

”Will you tell mother?”

”Not yet.”

”Why?”

”She told me to stay away from people of the castle. She doesn't trust them. She'll forbid me to see him again.”

”But when will you tell her?”

”When things have settled down. Maybe next year. Please, don't tell on me.”

”I won't.”

Helen hugged her again. They remained quiet for a while.

”Helen, how is it to be kissed?”

”You'll find out yourself one day, Betty.”

Helen and Andrew always met first on the rock, but were invariably drawn to the heath, lying in the gra.s.s, hugging, kissing, whispering endearments into each other's ears, sometimes on their backs, watching the ever present white or billowing gray clouds float past, talking, sometimes side-by-side, locking eyes, gently stroking each other. Innocent lovers, just content to be close.

Short as their meetings were-Andrew could not be absent for more than a few hours and even these started to raise questions at the castle-they filled their whole life.

Helen now always brought something of their banquets to Betty, a biscuit, a piece of sausage, or cheese. It wasn't only to make her even more an accomplice, but she also felt bad to have all that wonderful food while her dear little sister had to live on a diet of oats.

Helen visibly blossomed. She grew beautiful. There was a radiance about her. People noticed. One of the older women made a remark to Mary, wondering what had got into the la.s.s.

The girl reminded her of the time, years back, when she had lived at the castle in Inveraray and had been madly in love herself. She was also sure that the object of Helen's love couldn't be one of the two young men of their little clan. When they came back to the s.h.i.+elings after working on the cottages, Helen barely ever looked at them, ignoring their attempts to attract her attention. So the object of her love must be that visitor. And she was more and more convinced that this man was still visiting her regularly, despite Betty's reports to the contrary and her husband's claim that n.o.body had been seen riding into the mountains these last two weeks. The suspicion that Betty might have lied to protect Helen crossed her mind. She always saw them together most evenings, often whispering.

So one morning, in the middle of August, she climbed herself to the ridge above the lochan. She spotted the goats first. They were grazing at the back of the glen. Helen was nowhere in sight. After searching for several minutes, she decided to go down to the lochan. As she neared the sh.o.r.e, she saw Helen on a flat rock at the edge of the water drying herself in the sun, her hair still wet. She had not seen her daughter naked for many years. She admired her youthful womanly body. If she felt that safe to bathe, she couldn't expect any visitors, or was she already intimate with him?

When Helen saw her, she quickly slipped on her petticoat. Mary waved and after some hesitation, Helen waved back and came to meet her.