Part 52 (1/2)
Dr. Lavendar, hospitable and fussy, drew up a horsehair-covered chair with ears on each side of the back, and bade her sit down; then he poked the fire, and put on a big lump of coal, and asked her if she was sure she was warm enough? ”It's pretty chilly; we didn't have weather as cold as this in October when I was your age.”
”Dr. Lavendar,” said Helena;--and at the tremor in her voice he looked at her quickly, and then looked away;--”in regard to David--”
”Yes; I understand that you are not sure that you want to keep him?”
”Oh, no! I am sure. Entirely sure!” She paused, uncertain what to say next. Dr. Lavendar gave her no a.s.sistance. Her breath caught in an unsteady laugh. ”You are not smoking, Dr. Lavendar! Do light your pipe. I am quite used to tobacco smoke, I a.s.sure you.”
”No,” said Dr. Lavendar, quietly; ”I will not smoke now.”
”In regard to David,” she began; and gripped her hands tight together, for she saw with dismay that they were shaking. She had an instant of angry surprise at her own body. It was betraying her to the silent, watching old man on the other side of the fire. ”I want him; but I mean to leave Old Chester. Would you be willing to let me take him away?”
”Why,” said Dr. Lavendar, ”we shall be very sorry to have you leave us; and, of course, I shall be sorry to lose David. Very sorry! I shall feel,” said Dr. Lavendar, with a rueful chuckle, ”as if I had lost a tooth! That is about as omnipresent sense of loss as a human critter can have. But I can't see that that is any reason for not letting you take him.”
”You are very kind,” she murmured.
”Where are you going, and when do you go?” he asked, easily; but he glanced at those shaking hands.
”I want to go next week. I--oh, Dr. Lavendar! I want David; I am sure n.o.body can do more for him than I can. n.o.body can love him as I do!
And I think he would be pretty homesick for me, too, if I did not take him. But--”
”Yes?”
She tried to smile; then spread her handkerchief on her knee, and folded it over and over with elaborate self-control. ”Dr. King thinks--I ought not to have him. He says,” she stopped; the effort to repeat William King's exact words drove the color out of her face. ”He says he made a mistake in advising you to give David to me. He thinks--”
she caught her breath with a gasp;--”I am not to be trusted to--to bring him up.” She trembled with relief; the worst was over. She had kept her promise, to the letter. Now she would begin to fight for her child: ”You will let me have him? You will!--Please say you will, Dr.
Lavendar!”
”Why does Dr. King think you are not to be trusted?” said Dr.
Lavendar.
”Because,” she said, gathering up all her courage, ”he thinks that I-- that David ought to be brought up by some one more--more religious, I suppose, than I am. I know I'm not very religious. Not as good as everybody in Old Chester; but I will bring him up just as you want me to! Any way at all you want me to. I will go to church regularly; truly I will, Dr. Lavendar; truly!”
Dr. Lavendar was silent. The lump of coal in the grate suddenly split and fell apart; there was a crackling leap of flames, and from between the bars a spurt of bubbling gas sent a whiff of acrid smoke puffing out into the room.
”You will let me have him, won't you? You said you would! If you take him away from me--”
”Well?”
She looked at him dumbly; her chin shook.
”The care of a child is sometimes a great burden; have you considered that?”
”Nothing would be a burden if I did it for David!”
”It might involve much sacrifice.”
”I have sacrificed everything for him!” she burst out.
”What?”