Part 22 (1/2)

Pastor Mark didn't have to ask whether Kari was sticking to her promise, keeping her distance from Ryan as much as possible. His tone said it all.

”Fine.” Kari cleared her throat. ”He knows where I stand.” ”I'm glad. Listen, I have some news for you.” There was another pause. ”Tim called last night. He found your letters and read them. If he didn't take you seriously about the baby when you told him, he's taking you seriously now.”

”What?” Kari's heart skipped a beat. ”Why didn't he call me?” ”He knew you were at your parents' house. He wasn't sure it would be appropriate.”

She drew in a sharp breath. ”What does he want?”

”He wants to meet with us next week. It sounds like the answer we've been praying for.”

Kari tried to feel something. This was the moment she was waiting for, wasn't it? She should be thrilled. Happy tears should be streaming down her face, and she should be thanking G.o.d for even this slightest sign that Tim was sorry, that he wanted to work things out.

Instead, she felt flat, as if the wind had been sucked from her. ”Did he say anything else?”

”Yes.” The pastor's tone was kind, warm, as if he understood her confusion, her mixed feelings. ”He said he'd made a mess of things and he was sorry.”

Anger tore at the frayed edges of Kari's heart. ”What does he want me to do, run home and pretend everything's okay?” There was silence at the other end. She exhaled slowly. ”I'm sorry. That was uncalled for.”

189 ”You have a right to be upset, Kari. In fact, you have to have those feelings. But the bottom line is this: You want your marriage to work, right?”

Kari blinked back thoughts of her antic.i.p.ated afternoon with Ryan and held her breath, struggling to get her feelings back in line. ”Right.”

”Okay. Last night your husband said he's willing to try.”

A glint of silver flashed at the edge of the driveway, and Ryan's E3 truck appeared. Kari's face grew hot. ”Okay, thanks. Look, I need to go.” She didn't want to hear about Tim now. Not with Ryan waiting outside.

A pang of guilt poked at her. The pastor would never approve of her fis.h.i.+ng with her old boyfriend, not after Tim's phone call. But she was feeling defiant, not contrite. After all Tim had put her through, she had a right to a little fun.

”I'm sorry. I'll call you soon.”

Pastor Mark barely had a chance to say good-bye before Kari hung up the phone.

She opened her eyes wider, turned around, and found herself face-to-face with her father.

”Who was that?” He wasn't angry or accusatory, but his voice told her that he knew something wasn't right.

”Pastor Mark.” She sidestepped her father and swung her bag over her shoulder.

”Tim called. He wants to meet this week.” Her father smiled broadly. ”Hey, that's great. You've been praying he'd come around. Maybe this is the answer.”

Kari shrugged, suddenly nervous. ”Maybe.” She glanced outside, then back at her father. ”Ryan's here.”

Her father kept his eyes fixed on hers and raised a single eyebrow so subtly that Kari was certain no one else would have caught it.

”What?” She shrugged and let her bag fall to the floor. ”What's the look for?”

”You're a big girl, Kari. You can do what you want.” Her father's expression softened. ”But do you really think going out with Ryan Taylor is a good idea?”

190 Kari dug her fists into her waist. ”Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.

I've been sick and alone and desperate to understand why I wasn't enough for my husband, why he wouldn't even take my calls. I've had my heart broken, and truthfully, I don't know how I'm ever going to love him again.” She let her arms fall to her sides as the fight left her.

”So right now, yes, I think it's a good idea to go out with Ryan Taylor. In fact, I can't think of anything I'd rather do.”

A knock sounded at the door, and her father gave her a smile that said he thought she was wrong but he would let her find out for herself. Kari knew he meant it as a rea.s.surance of his love.

But it made her feel sixteen again and anxious to leave.

”Okay.” Her father took hold of her shoulders. He looked at her for a long moment, then pulled her close. ”I love you, Kari.

No matter what you do. I'm proud of you for staying strong and trying so hard to do what G.o.d wants.” He smiled. ”You'll do the right thing. I know it.”

Kari sighed. ”Thanks. I'll see you later.”

And with that she grabbed her bag and lightly ran out the door to where Ryan was waiting for her. Just as he'd waited for her all those years ago.

9.

Elizabeth Baxter sat on the edge of her bed, her back ramrod straight, and looked out the window as Kari and Ryan climbed into his truck.

John slipped on a sweats.h.i.+rt and eased himself beside her, following her gaze.

”Worried?”

”Of course.” She turned and studied her husband's face, amazed at the serenity she saw there. ”Everything's falling apart, John. How can you be so calm?”

He gave her a practiced smile, the one that always had a way of working a degree of peace and warmth into her heart. ”Because 191 Kari and Ryan are spending a day together? Everything's falling apart?”

She sighed and turned her attention back toward the window and the pickup truck that was pulling away. ”Kari's three months pregnant, and I heard your conversation. Tim wants to talk to her.” She felt the sting of tears. ”She says she wants her marriage healed. So why is she spending a day at the lake with Ryan Taylor? You know very well she's fooling herself when she insists they're just friends.

John squeezed her knee gently and gave her a half-smile. Elizabeth crossed her arms and gripped her elbows. ”It's not just Kari, you know. What about Ashley ... even Brooke? She and Peter drift further away from the Lord every day. And why's Maddie always sick?” Elizabeth wiped at an errant tear. ”Makes me wonder what's going to happen to Erin and Luke.”

John was quiet a moment; then he wove his fingers between hers. ”Once, a long time ago, there was a boatload of disciples trying to cross the Sea of Galilee.”

She relaxed some and felt the hint of a smile tug at the corners of her mouth.

The story was John's favorite, and she loved hearing him tell it.

”They had followed their Teacher for months and months, and they trusted him implicitly. In fact, he was in the boat with them one night when a terrible storm came up. The wind and waves were wild, tossing the boat like a child's toy until the disciples cried out for their Teacher's help.”

John paused, and Elizabeth could see the men, hear their cries. Almost feel the water on her face.

”Where was Jesus? Sleeping at the back of the boat. But at their desperate request, he rose and stretched his hand out toward the sea. `Be still!' he said.

And suddenly the wind and waves grew calm again.”