Chapter 479 - I am a Scholar! (1/2)
Chapter 479: I am a Scholar!
With a short opening and a few short pa.s.sages, Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai's performance shocked everyone, catching them all unprepared. It was easy to explain Yao Jiancai, since he was once a professional crosstalk performer.
But for Zhang Ye?
He was a genuine layman!
The art of crosstalk had a low barrier to enter. As long as you had a mouth, you could perform it. However, to enter into this field was extremely difficult. It could absolutely not be performed well without several years to over a dozen years of practice and training. Although Zhang Ye had hosted a talk show, the basic form of a talk show was merely to set a topic, and then chat and joke about it. All kinds of joke segments could be thrown in, and could even involve guests and images, not needing to follow continuity or logic. As long as all the sketches revolved and were put together around the central topic, everything would be fine. However, this wasn’t the case with crosstalk. The difficulty of crosstalk was exactly this. There were only two individuals and two fleshly throats. You could only use language to completely display characters, scenes, and circ.u.mstances. It was not something that could be casually a.s.sembled using random bits of funny joke segments.
Okay!
Hey!
Ai!
Sigh!
Just the using these few words properly required several years of training.
The art of crosstalk was something completely different from other domains!
And yet what Zhang Ye displayed was an unexpected serious and professional leading comic crosstalk performer. How could this not cause everyone to be taken aback?
When he did learn this?
He really f**king knew how to perform crosstalk too??
Many people that had previously believed that Zhang Ye was an amateur who came to cause trouble, but now, everyone’s concerns were left in their throats, choked up. Zhang Ye had used actual action to slap their faces!
”Old Tang? This...” Tang Dazhang's junior brother asked.
Tang Dazhang's face was expressionless, ”It has only just begun. A crosstalk work is taken as a whole. An opening doesn't say much. Let's continue watching. There will definitely be mistakes.”
His junior brother agreed, ”That's true. The subject of the work hasn't even been revealed yet.”
......
On-stage.
Zhang Ye could not hear their soft discussions.
Yao Jiancai said, ”Don't keep talking about me. Since you are done introducing me, it's about time you introduce yourself.”
Zhang Ye in a showy manner, ”Do I need introducing? I am not like you crosstalk actors. Look at my character.” He patted himself on his chest. ”Look at my temperament, I..” He then suddenly stretched out his hand and indecently lifted his pants with an exaggerated motion. ”I'm a writer! Can't you tell?”
”Hahaha!”
There was a female spectator who laughed heartily, clapping a hand against her lap, ”Oh my!”
Yao Jiancai remained silent as he stared at him, ”I really can't tell. Does a writer behave in such a manner? Why did you lift your pants? Moreover, this appellation isn't self-acknowledged!”
Zhang Ye smiled and replied, ”Teacher Yao is once again criticizing me and pointing out my mistakes. Eh, my interactions with Teacher Yao...He is my teacher. Under normal circ.u.mstances, if there's anything I don't understand, I am willing to ask Teacher Yao for guidance.”
Yao Jiancai replied, ”You're flattering me.”
Zhang Ye: ”You probably don't know, but Teacher Yao is particularly fas.h.i.+onable. He understands more about high-tech things than I do. For example, at present, Weibo is extremely popular.”
Yao Jiancai said to the audience, ”That's right, I began to use it rather early on.”
Zhang Ye: ”A few years earlier, when Weibo just came out, we didn't know what it was and whether it would be useful. However, Teacher Yao used concrete actions to tell us that Weibo is really useful. Just that time, after Teacher Yao finished filming, while he was resting with his production crew at the back, he whipped out his phone to look through Weibo happily. He placed the cigarette that he was smoking on the table. When he turned back to look at it after awhile, he realized that the cigarette was gone. He didn't know who took it.”
Yao Jiancai nodded while smiling, ”My friends from the production crew tend to crack jokes with me.”
Zhang Ye said, ”Teacher Yao wasn't anxious or mad. Actually, he knew who took it. Everyone was just joking around. Thus, Teacher Yao sent a message on Weibo—Just because I don't say it doesn't mean I don't know.”
Yao Jiancai replied, ”Hehe, I was just messing with him.”
Zhang Ye said with a twist, ”After ten minutes, his wife sent a short message—Sorry.”
When the punchline was delivered, the entire crowd erupted into laughter!
”Aiyah!”
”Hahahaha!”
”I'm sorry? Pu!”
”Aiyo. I am getting cramps from laughing!”
Yao Jiancai rolled his eyes, ”Wasn't that great, that one Weibo message of mine cracked such a big case! Is Weibo useful only for this?”
Zhang Ye continued in a dead panner manner. ”This is the importance of Weibo. A few years back, there was something very popular as well. What do we do if we want to read what Teacher Yao wrote? We go on Teacher Yao's prost.i.tution. (piao ke)”
”Hey, wait a moment!” Yao Jiancai exclaimed, ”It's called a blog (bo ke)!”
Zhang Ye replies: ”Yes, blog. On there, a lot of people... ordered (clicked on) him.”
Yao Jiancai curled his lips and said, ”Then you can tell them that I won't be coming out for them.”
In the midst of the laughter of the crowd, Zhang Ye blinked. ”Then how are you going to make a living?”
Yao Jiancai stared at him, ”I was making a living out of this?”
Zhang Ye responded, ”What is that? Ordering you (dian ni).”
Yao Jiancai flabbergasted, ”What do you mean ordering me! It is called click views (dian ji)!”
”Oh!” Zhang Ye exclaimed in realization and said, ”This is the first time I know that ordering you (dian ni)… means ordering chicken (dian ji, prost.i.tution)?”
After hearing this, the audience was momentarily stunned before bursting into laughter!
Yao Jiancai was enraged. ”How can your mind be so twisted! It’s the click rate (Jí lǜ)!”
Zhang Ye: ”You even turned green (lǜ)?”*
Some audience couldn't take the laughter anymore. ”Hahahaha!”
Yao Jian Cai said, ”Hey! No one thinks that way!”
Zhang Ye responded, ”That's what I meant. Anyway, Teacher Yao is much more fas.h.i.+onable than the rest of us. He also gets along better than us. A few years back, when I was still in school and struggling for money, Teacher Yao was already the spokesperson for a company, serving as the p.o.o.p (dabian) for their product!”
The audience burst into laughter again!
Yao Jiancai hurriedly corrected him. ”What p.o.o.p (dabian)?! It is spokesperson (das.h.i.+)!”
”Oh…” Zhang Ye said in confusion. ”What is the difference? Was what I said wrong? p.o.o.p (dabian)? s.h.i.+t (das.h.i.+)? Are you talking about its texture in the mouth or sensation of touching?
Yao Jiancai howled, ”Why are you so disgusting?! Do you have to talk like that?!”