Part 14 (1/2)

”If you really fear death,” said he, ”what possible thing is there left to love or to hope for? What, then, do you think the highest blessing of man?”

”Long life,” said I, ”and riches and requited love.”

At this the Kohen started back, and stared at me as though I were a raving madman.

”Oh, holy shades of night!” he exclaimed. ”What is that you say? What do you mean?”

”We can never understand one another, I fear,” said I. ”The love of life must necessarily be the strongest pa.s.sion of man. We are so made.

We give up everything for life. A long life is everywhere considered as the highest blessing; and there is no one who is willing to die, no matter what his suffering may be. Riches also are desired by all, for poverty is the direst curse that can embitter life; and as to requited love, surely that is the sweetest, purest, and most divine joy that the human heart may know.”

At this the Kohen burst forth in a strain of high excitement:

”Oh, sacred cavern gloom! Oh, divine darkness! Oh, impenetrable abysses of night! What, oh, what is this! Oh, Atam-or, are you mad?

Alas! it must be so. Joy has turned your brain; you are quite demented. You call good evil, and evil good; our light is your darkness, and our darkness your light. Yet surely you cannot be altogether insane. Come, come, let us look further. How is it! Try now to recall your reason. A long life--a life, and a long one! Surely there can be no human being in a healthy state of nature who wishes to prolong his life; and as to riches, it is possible that anyone exists who really and honestly desires riches? Impossible! And requited love!

Oh, Atam-or, you are mad to-day! You are always strange, but now you have quite taken leave of your senses. I cannot but love you, and yet I can never understand you. Tell me, and tell me truly, what is it that you consider evils, if these things that you have mentioned are not the very worst?”

He seemed deeply in earnest and much moved. I could not understand him, but could only answer his questions with simple conciseness.

”Poverty, sickness, and death,” said I, ”are evils; but the worst of all evils is unrequited love.”

At these words the Kohen made a gesture of despair.

”It is impossible to understand this,” said he. ”You talk calmly; you have not the air of a madman. If your fellow-countrymen are all like you, then your race is an incomprehensible one. Why, death is the greatest blessing. We all long for it; it is the end of our being. As for riches, they are a curse, abhorred by all. Above all, as to love, we shrink from the thought of requital. Death is our chief blessing, poverty our greatest happiness, and unrequited love the sweetest lot of man.”

All this sounded like the ravings of a lunatic, yet the Kohen was not mad. It seemed also like the mockery of some teasing demon; but the gentle and self-denying Kohen was no teasing demon, and mockery with him was impossible. I was therefore more bewildered than ever at this reiteration of sentiments that were so utterly incomprehensible. He, on the other hand, seemed as astonished at my sentiments and as bewildered, and we could find no common ground on which to meet.

”I remember now,” said the Kohen, in a musing tone, ”having heard of some strange folk at the Amir, who profess to feel as you say you feel, but no one believes that they are in earnest; for although they may even bring themselves to think that they are in earnest in their professions, yet after all everyone thinks that they are self-deceived. For you see, in the first place, these feelings which you profess are utterly unnatural. We are so made that we cannot help loving death; it is a sort of instinct. We are also created in such a way that we cannot help longing after poverty. The pauper must always, among all men, be the most envied of mortals. Nature, too, has made us such that the pa.s.sion of love, when it arises, is so vehement, so all-consuming that it must always struggle to avoid requital. This is the reason why, when two people find that they love each other, they always separate and avoid one another for the rest of their lives.

This is human nature. We cannot help it; and it is this that distinguishes us from the animals. Why, if men were to feel as you say you feel, they would be mere animals. Animals fear death; animals love to acc.u.mulate such things as they prize; animals, when they love, go in pairs, and remain with one another. But man, with his intellect, would not be man if he loved life and desired riches and sought for requited love.”

I sank back in despair. ”You cannot mean all this,” I said.

He threw at me a piteous glance. ”What else can you believe or feel?”

said he.

”The very opposite. We are so made that we hate and fear death; to us he is the King of Terrors. Poverty is terrible also, since it is a.s.sociated with want and woe; it is, therefore, natural to man to strive after riches. As to the pa.s.sion of love, that is so vehement that the first and only thought is requital. Unrequited love is anguish beyond expression--anguish so severe that the heart will often break under it.”

The Kohen clasped his hands in new bewilderment.

”I cannot understand,” said he. ”A madman might imagine that he loved life and desired riches; but as to love, why even a madman could not think of requital, for the very nature of the pa.s.sion of love is the most utter self-surrender, and a shrinking from all requital; wherefore, the feeling that leads one to desire requital cannot be love. I do not know what it can be--indeed, I never heard of such a thing before, and the annals of the human race make no mention of such a feeling. For what is love? It is the ardent outflow of the whole being--the yearning of one human heart to lavish all its treasures upon another. Love is more than self-denial; it is self-surrender and utter self-abnegation. Love gives all away, and cannot possibly receive anything in return. A requital of love would mean selfishness, which would be self-contradiction. The more one loves, the more he must shrink from requital.”

”What!” cried I, ”among you do lovers never marry?”

”Lovers marry? Never!”

”Do married people never love one another?”

The Kohen shook his head.