Part 12 (2/2)

At last I learned that she was much better, and would be out on the following jom. This intelligence filled me with a fever of eager antic.i.p.ation, so great that I could think of nothing else. Sleep was impossible. I could only wait, and try as best I might to quell my impatience. At last the time came. I sat waiting. The curtain was drawn aside. I sprang up, and, hurrying toward her, I caught her in my arms and wept for joy. Ah me, how pale she looked! She bore still the marks of her illness. She seemed deeply embarra.s.sed and agitated at the fervor of my greeting; while I, instead of apologizing or trying to excuse myself, only grew more agitated still.

”Oh, Almah,” I cried. ”I should have died if you had not come back to me! Oh, Almah, I love you better than life and I never knew how dearly I loved you till I thought that I had lost you! Oh, forgive me, but I must tell you--and don't weep, darling.”

She was weeping as I spoke. She said nothing, but twined her arms around my neck and wept on my breast. After this we had much to say that we had never mentioned before. I cannot tell the sweet words that she said to me; but I now learned that she had loved me from the first--when I came to her in her loneliness, when she was homesick and heartsick; and I came, a kindred nature, of a race more like her own; and she saw in me the only one of all around her whom it was possible not to detest, and therefore she loved me.

We had many things to say to one another, and long exchanges of confidence to make. She now for the first time told me all the sorrow that she had endured in her captivity--sorrow which she had kept silent and shut up deep within her breast. At first her life here had been so terrible that it had brought her down nearly to death. After this she had sunk into dull despair; she had grown familiar with horrors and lived in a state of unnatural calm. From this my arrival had roused her. The display of feeling on my part had brought back all her old self, and roused anew all those feelings which in her had become dormant. The darkness, the bloodshed, the sacrifices, all these affected me as they had once affected her. I had the same fear of death which she had. When I had gone with her to the cheder nebilin, when I had used my sepet-ram to save life, she had perceived in me feelings and impulses to which all her own nature responded. Finally, when I asked about the Mista Kosek, she warned me not to go. When I did go she was with me in thought and suffered all that I felt, until the moment when I was brought back and laid senseless at her feet.

”Then,” said Almah, ”I felt the full meaning of all that lies before us.”

”What do you mean by that?” I asked, anxiously. ”You speak as though there were something yet--worse than what has already been; yet nothing can possibly be worse. We have seen the worst; let us now try to shake off these grisly thoughts, and be happy with one another.

Your strength will soon be back, and while we have one another we can be happy even in this gloom.”

”Ah me,” said Almah, ”it would be better now to die. I could die happy now, since I know that you love me.”

”Death!” said I; ”do not talk of it--do not mention that word. It is more abhorrent than ever. No, Almah, let us live and love--let us hope--let us fly.”

”Impossible!” said she, in a mournful voice. ”We cannot fly. There is no hope. We must face the future, and make up our minds to bear our fate.”

”Fate!” I repeated, looking at her in wonder and in deep concern.

”What do you mean by our fate? Is there anything more which you know and which I have not heard?”

”You have heard nothing,” said she, slowly; ”and all that you have seen and heard is as nothing compared with what lies before us. For you and for me there is a fate--inconceivable, abhorrent, tremendous!--a fate of which I dare not speak or even think, and from which there is no escape whatever.”

As Almah said this she looked at me with an expression in which terror and anguish were striving with love. Her cheeks, which shortly before had flushed rosy red in sweet confusion, were now pallid, her lips ashen; her eyes were full of a wild despair. I looked at her in wonder, and could not say a word.

”Oh, Atam-or,” said she, ”I am afraid of death!”

”Almah,” said I, ”why will you speak of death? What is this fate which you fear so much?”

”It is this,” said she hurriedly and with a shudder, ”you and I are singled out. I have been reserved for years until one should be found who might be joined with me. You came. I saw it all at once. I have known it--dreaded it--tried to fight against it. But it was of no use.

Oh, Atam-or, our love means death; for the very fact that you love me and I love you seals our doom!”

”Our doom? What doom?”

”The sacrifice!” exclaimed Almah, with another shudder. In her voice and look there was a terrible meaning, which I could not fail to take.

I understood it now, and my blood curdled in my veins. Almah clung to me despairingly.

”Do not leave me!” she cried--”do not leave me! I have no one but you.

The sacrifice, the sacrifice! It is our doom the great sacrifice--at the end of the dark season. It is at the amir. We must go there to meet our doom.”

”The amir?” I asked; ”what is that?”

”It is the metropolis,” said she.

I was utterly overwhelmed, yet still I tried to console her; but the attempt was vain.

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