Part 46 (2/2)
”I've been reading. I've been talking to a doctor, too. You see, I wanted to help.”
”Let's change doctors. Ten years! It can't be done.”
”I'm afraid you're right. There's no such thing as reformation. A born criminal never reforms; only those who go wrong from weakness or from bad influences ever make good.”
”Drinking isn't a crime,” Bob declared, angrily, ”any more than freckles. It's just a form of diversion.”
Lorelei shook her head. ”If you're a born alcoholic you'll probably die a drunkard. I'm hoping that you didn't inherit the taste.”
”Well, whether it was left to me or whether I bought it, I can't go dry for ten years.”
”Then our bargain is ended.”
He looked up sharply. ”Oh no, it isn't!”
”Yes.”
He extended a shaking hand, and his voice was supplicating as he said: ”I can't get along without you, kid. You're a part of me-- the vital part. I'd go to pieces quick if you quit now.”
”When we made our agreement I meant to live up to every bit of it,” Lorelei told him, gently, ”but we're going to try again, for this was Jim's fault.”
”Jim? Jim was sorry for me. He tried to cheer--”
Lorelei's smile was bitter. ”Jim was never sorry for anybody except himself. My family hate you just as your family hate me, and they'd like to separate us.”
”Say, that's pretty rotten!” Bob exclaimed. ”If he weren't your brother I'd--”
Lorelei laughed mirthlessly. ”Go ahead! I wish you would. It might clear the atmosphere.”
”Then I will.” After a moment he continued, ”I suppose you feel you must go on supporting them?”
”Of course.”
”Just as you feel you must support me. Is it entirely duty in my case?” Seeing her hesitate, he insisted, ”Isn't there any love at all?”
”I'm afraid not, Bob.”
The man pondered silently. ”I suppose if I were the right sort,”
he said, at length, with some difficulty, ”I'd let you go under these circ.u.mstances. Well, I'm not the right sort; I'm not big or n.o.ble. I'm just an ordinary, medium-sized man, and I'm going to keep you. However, I'm through side-stepping; I've tried to outrun the Barleycorn Brothers, but it's no use, so I'm going to turn and face them. If they lick me I'll go under. But if I go under I'll take you with me. I won't give you up. I won't!”
”I sha'n't let you pull me down,” she told him, soberly.
”Then you'll have to bear me up. When a man's drowning he grabs and holds on. That's me! There's nothing fine about me, understand? I'm human and selfish. I'd be happy in h.e.l.l with you.”
”You're not fair.”
”I don't pretend to be. This isn't a bridge game; this is life.
I'll cheat, I'll hold out, I'll deal from the bottom, if I can't win in any other way. Good G.o.d! Don't you understand that you're the only thing I ever loved, the only thing I ever wanted and couldn't get? I've never had but half of you; don't expect me to give that up.” He rose, jammed his hat upon his head as if to escape from the room, then turned and crushed his wife to him with a fierce cruelty of possession. Lorelei could feel him shaking as he covered her face with kisses, but nothing within her stirred even faintly in answer to his pa.s.sion.
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