Part 24 (1/2)

”No, I had to write it on the back of an advertis.e.m.e.nt. She didn't even see the note, she just crushed it and threw it away. Kind of like our relations.h.i.+p.”

”Excuse me?” Matt asked, trying not to get angry.

”I'm sorry. I know, I'm all screwed up.”

Matt threw the car into park and turned to Chris. ”You know, I really didn't want to get in the middle of this, but I guess I'm going to be anyway, so just let me ask one question, Chris.” Matt paused, trying to get his thoughts in order, then continued, ”Why is it exactly that you want to see Lynn? Is it because you want to apologize for that ridiculous accusation you made? Because if that's the only reason, just write a note and leave it for her on Sunday.”

”I can't explain it, I just really need to talk to her. Matt, just tell me where she is. Or give me her phone number,” Chris pleaded.

Matt shook his head. ”I can't do that.”

Chris crossed her arms. ”Can't, or won't?”

Matt sighed, trying to make eye contact with Chris, but she would not meet his eyes. ”Look, whatever happened between you two has made it so Lynn can't just be friends with you anymore. She wants to be more than your friend, Chris, and unless you feel the same for her, you just need to apologize and walk away.”

Matt took a deep breath before asking the next question. ”How do you feel about Lynn?”

Chris, still not malting eye contact, replied, ”I'm not sure. I just know that I miss her.”

”Well, maybe I can help. What exactly do you miss about her?”

”That's what I'm not sure about.”

The two sat in silence for a moment, then Matt sighed with frustration. ”Then I guess I can't help.”

Matt put the car into reverse and backed up. Calming down, he switched the gear into drive. He placed his hand on Chris's and said soothingly, ”Sometimes you just have to follow your heart.”

The evening over, Chris flopped onto the couch as Matt shuffled through the day's mail.

”Matt,” Chris began with hesitation, ”please answer just one more question for me. Then, I promise, I won't mention it again.”

Matt briefly raised his eyes from the piece of paper in his hand, then nodded.

”I just don't understand why she won't even talk to me.”

Matt stood and dropped several unopened envelopes on the table. ”I don't know, Chris.” Running his fingers through his hair, he continued, ”I guess in her business she's learned it's better to just cut your losses and move on.”

As he began his way down the hall, he realized how cold his last statement had sounded. Turning back, he leaned over the back of the couch. ”That didn't come out quite the way*”

Chris lowered her eyes and raised her hand to stop him. With a tearful voice she choked out, ”I got the point, Matt.”

Hearing Matt's bedroom door close, Chris wiped the tears from her eyes. She was glad that it was so easy for Lynn, she thought sarcastically, Just cut your losses and move on. Well, maybe she had overestimated Lynn's feelings for her. Maybe Lynn didn't call it a game, but a rose by any other name is still a rose. Chris vowed to begin the next day with a new att.i.tude. After all, if Lynn could do it, so could she.

Chapter Eighteen.

Chris threw off the covers and reached to turn off the alarm. Today she would not roll over and dwell on her misery, she had promised herself the night before. She was a strong, self-sufficient person. She just had to keep reminding herself.

She pulled on a pair of shorts and a T-s.h.i.+rt and rushed to the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, she grabbed eggs, bacon, and milk, and began preparing one of the only things she knew how to cook*an omelette.

”A great breakfast to begin a great day,” she said out loud to herself.

”Who are you, and what have you done with Chris?” Matt chuckled as he entered the room and observed her activity.

”Good morning!” Chris sang out cheerfully. ”Would you like some breakfast?”

Matt looked at her with confusion. ”Sure*”

”What's the matter?” Chris questioned as she added more ingredients to the bowl before her.

”Nothing. Just glad to see a smile on your face.”

”Well, it's time that I stop moping around and move on,” Chris said with a hint of sarcasm.

Matt nodded in understanding. This must be another of her defense mechanisms. He wasn't going to complain. At least he got food instead of tears out of this one.

He did, however, place a call to Sam as soon as he arrived at the shop.

”Hey, Sam, this is Matt. Do you have a minute?” Matt headed to the phone before he had even put the Open sign on the door.

”Sure. What's up?” answered Sam.

”Chris is driving me crazy, Sam. She's miserable, Lynn's miserable, between the two of them, I might end up in the looney bin.”

Sam sighed. ”I know, Matt. I've heard all about it on my end, too. But what can we do?”

”Well, I promised Lynn that I wouldn't do anything. But you haven't, have you?”

Sam chuckled. ”No. What do you have in mind?”

Chris went through her day with a purpose*to forget about Lynn, to get on with her life, to move on. She tried desperately to concentrate in cla.s.s, met with some friends for lunch, dropped by her apartment to pick up her mail, and by the time she got back to the house she was fairly pleased with her progress.

As she walked through the house after changing into her running clothes, the light on the answering machine caught her attention. Chris listened to the recorded voices as she retied her sneakers. The first message was Matt; he was spending the evening with Paul. The second message was from Sam inviting Chris to dinner the following night. She immediately dialed the number and left another message, accepting the invitation. Upon hanging up the phone, Chris strode outside ready for a nice long run.

Chris slowed her pace to wind down her run. She stretched several times on the sand and had just begun opening the gla.s.s door when she heard it. Lynn's voice rang through the s.p.a.ce inside.

Chris's heart dropped as she hurried inside only to discover the voice was coming from the answering machine: ”Leave your name and number and we'll get back to you.” All of Chris's hard work on her att.i.tude went down the drain in a matter of seconds. Her heart began aching all over again. She winced when she heard the message that was left.

”Lynn, G.o.ddammit! You're not showing for rehearsal either! We understood about Friday and Sat.u.r.day night, everyone has conflicts, but this has got to end. We're going to have to discuss this as a band. We got along fine without you before, and we'll do it again if you don't stop s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g with us!” The recording echoed from the sound of the receiver being slammed down.

Chris's anger flared. She knew why Lynn wouldn't be at rehearsal. Lynn wouldn't want to be at the bar if Chris showed up. But Lynn wasn't considering the other band members' feelings. How selfish could someone get? Did she abandon her responsibilities every time she had lost at her little game? Or had this been the first time that Lynn had lost? Great, Chris thought to herself, now her heart was an aching, angry mess. She grabbed a beer and headed toward the shower.

Lynn wasn't doing any better. Finis.h.i.+ng off the beer in her hand, she set it down on the table already filled with empty bottles. She had made it a point to go to the office again today, anything to take her mind off Chris. But now that she was back at her makes.h.i.+ft apartment, she felt the loneliness overwhelm her again. She was glad that Sam and Beth had invited her over for dinner the next night; they had always been there for her. Hearing the knock on the door, Lynn arose to retrieve dinner from the awaiting delivery person.

Back at Lynn and Matt's house, Matt shut the door and walked quietly over to the couch. Gently removing the book from Chris's hands, he set it on the table and turned off the television. He watched the woman curled up on the couch. If he had been stronger, he would have carried her to bed. Unfortunately he never had been the weight-lifting type. Slipping the afghan over her body, he wondered if she wasn't more comfortable out here on the sofa anyway*closer to her memories of Lynn. If Mart's plan was a success, everything would be worked out between the two of them the next night at Sam and Beth's place. Otherwise, he might just have to get tough.