Part 23 (2/2)

”What were they, p.o.r.n?” Brian snorted.

”Nah. Worse,” Sean muttered to the floor, glum.

”What's worse than p.o.r.n?”

Star Trek novels.” novels.”

”Dude ...” Brian exhaled a long, pitying sigh.

”I know, I know. Whatever. I like like them,” he pleaded. them,” he pleaded.

”So why'd you turn them around on your shelf then?” Brian leaned as far forward as he could.

”Because it's embarra.s.sing embarra.s.sing. I didn't want people to know that's what I read. Anyway, I knew it wasn't going to last. At first, it was like Christmas every day. I mean, I'd had my eye on her for months, and I'd have fantasies about her when I'd jack off in the shower. The first time I f.u.c.ked her in that shower I nearly pa.s.sed out. Come on, she's beautiful, she's smart, she's up for anything, and she wants to be with all the time. I'm thinking, you're kidding, right? After a week or two, I was like, how do I do this? I don't know how to order off a menu with her, much less make conversation, she's going to get bored of me fast. I knew that! s.h.i.+t, even my friends were like, 'She's so out of your league, enjoy it while it lasts, pal.' So I did what any guy would do to keep a woman hooked on him.”

”What, spent all your money on her?” Brian rolled his eyes and leaned against the van wall. They'd spent a long time trying to figure out what they had in common-he couldn't believe it was a woman.

”Uh uh, I went down on her every chance I had. I knew her p.u.s.s.y better than her gynecologist. gynecologist.” Sean grinned, sitting back. ”I'd look up at her and there would be nail polish streaks on the wall over the headboard. f.u.c.king streaks streaks the the wall wall I'd work on her for like twenty minutes and she'd come so hard she'd push my head away and just twitch like she was electrocuted ...” I'd work on her for like twenty minutes and she'd come so hard she'd push my head away and just twitch like she was electrocuted ...”

Brian thought he saw him wink. G.o.d, this guy was such a tool. He wished the blond guy pa.s.sed out in the corner would wake the f.u.c.k up.

”... Then I'd start all over again. I'd make her come three or four times and she'd be pulling me to her, begging me to f.u.c.k her. Now she needed me for something, now I had something she wanted really bad ...”

Brian chuckled softly and smirked at Sean, knowing he couldn't possibly have anything she wanted. Brian slid his feet as far forward as he could to stretch his legs. He tried to figure out how long they'd been in this van. They had to have been sitting here talking for two hours, another hour or two on top of that when they were pa.s.sed out. So, three ... four hours, maybe? When he tried to rub his wrists together he realized his watch was gone. They took his f.u.c.king watch.

f.u.c.k. f.u.c.k. f.u.c.k.

”... Sure, I'd f.u.c.k her occasionally,” Sean said, carried away by the memory. He could smell her now, feel the curve of her waist. ”Really slow, so she'd be moaning for it. I'd get her really worked up and then sometimes I wouldn't finish her off. It was like a control thing, totally pa.s.sive aggressive, you know?”

Brian was bored. This kid was such a f.u.c.king amateur. ”Cut to the chase.”

Sean had thought about it a lot, he just never said it out loud.

”After two or three months, we went out to dinner and I had it all planned out. It was going to be farewell s.e.x, like a last meal before an execution, you know? In the morning, I just bit the bullet and as soon as she woke up, I told her we needed to talk, and she wrapped herself around me in bed. She got nervous like animals do when they know they're going to be killed, you know? The worst part was she held my hand while I told her all this, like she thought I couldn't be cruel to her if she was holding my hand.”

They sat in silence in the windowless van, listening to the sounds of cars and trucks on the highway.

”I told her that I wasn't interested anymore, it was me and not her, this isn't what I wanted, you know, standard dump speech. But I kind of twisted it a little and said I didn't like how she was always doing stuff for me, buying me things and taking me places like she just thought she was just being nice when it was actually a control thing of hers.”

”Nice touch. How'd she take it?”

”She just curled up in a ball and cried for an hour. I was in the other room watching TV when she suddenly comes out with her stuff in a bag. She'd called a car service and didn't even look at me, she just grabbed her s.h.i.+t and left. I mean, I felt awful, it was a s.h.i.+t thing to do, but I'd rather have her angry at me than drag everything out.”

The silence hung in the air, cold and thick.

”You want to know the truth?” Brian said gently.

Sean nodded, hesitant.

”You were a pity f.u.c.k,” he spat.

Sean's face hardened.

”She told me about you,” Brian continued. ”She laughed that you were Transitional Guy, like you were a comic book character, except you didn't know how it was supposed to end. She She was supposed to end it, not you. So, yeah, it f.u.c.ked her up and she had serious damage, but what can I tell you? That's my thing, so I moved in.” was supposed to end it, not you. So, yeah, it f.u.c.ked her up and she had serious damage, but what can I tell you? That's my thing, so I moved in.”

”What do you mean?” Sean said, chilled.

Brian sized him up carefully, to see if he was worth telling. ”I bartend over at the Alibi by the park. This was, like, three years ago. September ... a couple months after you dumped her. She came in one night with two or three other girls and I just zeroed in on her, 'cause she looked like she hadn't been out in a while. You could tell that her friends took her out to cheer her up, so I kept making eye contact with her when I was at the other end of the bar. I gave her some quarters for the jukebox, asked her to go pick out some Tom Waits, kept her gla.s.s filled. Lot of attention, just kept looking at her and then looking away like she caught me. I'm good, right? By the end of the night, her friends are gone, the bar's empty, and it's just the two of us talking.

”She's smiling and playing with her hair, looking up at me, stroking her collarbone and fiddling with her necklace, leaning forward on the bar, it's all body language. You know the thing about showing their palm, right?”

Sean shook his head, his light brown hair falling in his eyes, making him look even younger. This was a master cla.s.s, and he tried to keep up. He couldn't believe guys like this actually existed and this was what he was up against.

”When a woman shows you the palm of her hand, she's open,” Brian explained patiently. ”It's a major sign. It means she's vulnerable and she'll probably show you something else, know what I mean? So anyway, I've got her, I've totally got this chick. It's cla.s.sic ... cla.s.sic. cla.s.sic. Everyone has one thing they're born knowing how to do, right? This is it. This is what I do better than anyone else.” Everyone has one thing they're born knowing how to do, right? This is it. This is what I do better than anyone else.”

Brian tried to move his arms.

”f.u.c.k, my arm's asleep. Anyway, I know what to talk about: stories about my family, what kinda pets I've had, how much I like to travel, where I've been and where I want to go next. Always say Morocco or Thailand, by the way, just trust me. It gives her a way to size me up, decide if I'm a quality guy, right? And she's just glowin glowin across the bar at me. She even says I'm not like the other guys and, you know, I do the blus.h.i.+ng thing. You know the blus.h.i.+ng thing, right?” across the bar at me. She even says I'm not like the other guys and, you know, I do the blus.h.i.+ng thing. You know the blus.h.i.+ng thing, right?”

Sean shook his head, confused.

”You have to do it like this,” Brian confided, as he leaned forward a bit on the box and looked down at the floor of the van. ”When she gives you a compliment or you 'confess' something, you look down like you're a little embarra.s.sed or trying to hide a smile. Then you keep your face down and look up with only your eyes, like this.”

He demonstrated, his eyes peeking up shyly through his lashes. ”Slays them every time, I'm telling you.”

Brian's expression morphed seamlessly from innocent and charming to cold and hard again, and then he grinned as he leaned back against the van wall. With his black hair and sharp eyes he looked even colder. ”The best part was she thought she she was the one pursuing was the one pursuing me me because I was acting like I had a serious crush, like it was love at first sight and this had never happened to me before. because I was acting like I had a serious crush, like it was love at first sight and this had never happened to me before.

”We talk about artists we like, so l ask for her number like I'm real shy, say there's this Bill Viola show she might like to see. She's actually blus.h.i.+ng, like she's already thinking of how to tell our grandkids how we met. I just knew it.”

Brian was smug. ”I've never hooked a woman so easy, so fast. Never Never ”So what did you do?”

”I didn't even touch her that night, total gentleman. Called her the next day, said I couldn't wait to talk to her, that I'd been thinking about her all day, and she's totally charmed, right? So we made plans to see the gallery in the afternoon and I kind of kept it rolling to dinner and finally back to my place to hang out. We started talking about ecstasy and how she hadn't done it in so long, so I said I had some at my place and we could share it, right?

”She was so wrapped up in the moment,” Brian snorted, ”thinking I was so easy to talk to, that we had so much in common ... f.u.c.k, I could have gotten her to do anything ... I probably could have gotten her to shoot heroin heroin I mean, my place is kind of a dump and she's going on about how amazing the view is and how cool the paintings are and whatever. She's totally delusional at this point, she thinks it's karma, like we've really connected. I mean, my place is kind of a dump and she's going on about how amazing the view is and how cool the paintings are and whatever. She's totally delusional at this point, she thinks it's karma, like we've really connected.

”So we have s.e.x and she says it's spiritual and amazing, you know, but it's just E-love. s.e.x on ecstasy just f.u.c.king bonds bonds you, except she's never had s.e.x on E before so it's new to her and she thinks this is chemistry. Yeah, it's chemistry, it's f.u.c.king you, except she's never had s.e.x on E before so it's new to her and she thinks this is chemistry. Yeah, it's chemistry, it's f.u.c.king lab lab chemistry. So now we're rolling and I love this part, this is where the head-f.u.c.k gets chemistry. So now we're rolling and I love this part, this is where the head-f.u.c.k gets deep deep ”Then it just became a question of how little could I do and still have her want me? It became a game and I stretched it out for months months Little by little I pulled away, real small stuff like I stopped kissing her, wouldn't hold her after s.e.x, never went down on her. No foreplay, no talking, it was just f.u.c.k her and go to sleep, like when I'm done, Little by little I pulled away, real small stuff like I stopped kissing her, wouldn't hold her after s.e.x, never went down on her. No foreplay, no talking, it was just f.u.c.k her and go to sleep, like when I'm done, we're we're done. I wouldn't even kiss her when she'd cry. I'd roll over with my back to her, and I swear I'd just be lying there, grinning in the dark. She'd sob for a while then finally she'd go to sleep. The next morning I wouldn't say a thing, act like nothing happened. I know, cold, right? But you know what?” done. I wouldn't even kiss her when she'd cry. I'd roll over with my back to her, and I swear I'd just be lying there, grinning in the dark. She'd sob for a while then finally she'd go to sleep. The next morning I wouldn't say a thing, act like nothing happened. I know, cold, right? But you know what?”

”What?” Sean asked nervously. This is who she ended up with after him?

”She'd call me that night, want to come over, act like nothing ever happened, ever happened,” Brian said, incredulously. ”And I'd always blow her off, wouldn't call her back for like a week! I'd wait for the voicemail to pile up and she'd get panicky, thinking it was something she'd she'd done. I'd be out with the guys and we'd brag about who has the craziest phone messages from a woman, who can string some b.i.t.c.h along the longest, right? And there was no question, I won. I was the king of this, I had proof right here. I'd save the messages and play like a dozen of them to everybody, and they'd start with her all sweet. 'Hi, it's me,' became annoyed, like, 'Hey, where have you been?' and then she'd get concerned, 'Are you okay?' and finally, after a week, it's, 'I'm sorry you're so upset at me, I miss you, please forgive me.' She didn't even know what she'd done to make me disappear but she was already begging me to take her back! The next time I'd see her, and I'd always wait like at least a week or two, she'd apologize to for being such a basket case, and promise it'd never happen again!” done. I'd be out with the guys and we'd brag about who has the craziest phone messages from a woman, who can string some b.i.t.c.h along the longest, right? And there was no question, I won. I was the king of this, I had proof right here. I'd save the messages and play like a dozen of them to everybody, and they'd start with her all sweet. 'Hi, it's me,' became annoyed, like, 'Hey, where have you been?' and then she'd get concerned, 'Are you okay?' and finally, after a week, it's, 'I'm sorry you're so upset at me, I miss you, please forgive me.' She didn't even know what she'd done to make me disappear but she was already begging me to take her back! The next time I'd see her, and I'd always wait like at least a week or two, she'd apologize to for being such a basket case, and promise it'd never happen again!”

”Jesus ...”

”I know! Totally f.u.c.ked up, right?” He was on a roll now, and his dark eyes flashed. ”But here's the thing: If a woman thinks she's worthless, if she's been dumped by enough guys and her self-esteem is that low, she'll excuse anything anything to keep you. I was so under her skin, she was dependent on me like a drug, she was hooked just like a junkie and she'd put up with whatever she had to.” to keep you. I was so under her skin, she was dependent on me like a drug, she was hooked just like a junkie and she'd put up with whatever she had to.”

Brian was grinning hard now. He'd never had an office job, never made serious money, kept getting fired, and had the s.h.i.+ttiest credit of anyone he knew, but in this one sport, he was a champion. ”Here's the secret, and I know it's so f.u.c.king wrong, but the worse you treat them, the more they want you. It's totally f.u.c.ked up, but the sooner you understand that, the better off you'll be. I'm telling you.”

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