Part 20 (1/2)

”Well, I've never thought of that.” He sounded quite innocent.

She went into the bedroom, burying her face in a pillow stuffed with duck down. He sat smoking for a while. Then he wiped clean the dining table and did the dishes. Without a word he left for work.

For a whole afternoon Manna was fidgety, unsure whether Lin would come home for dinner and whether he would continue to go out in the evening. She even blamed herself. Maybe she shouldn't have blown up like that. He must think of her as a jealous shrew now. Had he really changed his heart about her? Probably he had become so tired of her that he had begun running after another woman. No, he couldn't be so heartless. Then what did he really want?

The more she thought, the more agitated she became. Yet deep down, she felt she was not wrong.

She made wontons for dinner, hoping he would come home on time. She boiled a pot of water and waited for him. Lin returned at six sharp as usual. How relieved she was at the sight of him; without delay she dropped the pork wontons into the boiling water.

As the pot was seething, she shredded two sheets of dried laver, cut a tiny bunch of cilantro, and put them into a large tureen. Meanwhile Lin placed spoons, bowls, and cups of soy sauce and vinegar on the dining table, saying she should have waited for him so that he could prepare the stuffing and help her make wonton wrappers.

”I didn't know when you'd be back,” she told him, although that was only partially true. She had worried that he might not come home for dinner at all.

When the wontons were cooked, she poured them, together with the water, into the tureen, then dropped in a spoonful of chili oil and stirred the soup counterclockwise for a moment with a stainless steel ladle.

Dinner was ready. Lin carried the tureen to the dining room, which was also their living room.

While eating, Lin said he had seen Ran Su in the afternoon. Actually they had talked for a long time about women. ”It was a nice chat,” he told her.

”Who did you talk about?”

”Just women in general.”

”So he thinks I'm out of my mind?”

”Oh no, he said I was in the wrong and I didn't understand you.”

”What did he say exactly?”

”He said a woman couldn't live long without attention and love.”

She t.i.ttered, amused that the commissar could talk that way. No wonder he was so patient with his crazy wife. She said, ”That's not true. How about nuns?”

”Well,” Lin paused, then went on, ”they have the attention of monks, don't they?”

They both laughed.

”Manna,” he said, ”if I had known you'd feel so strongly about my teaching the cla.s.s, I'd never have agreed to do it.”

Seeing the honest look on his face, Manna smiled and told him never to make such a decision on his own. They should always discuss it first. ”A married couple must work like a team,” she said.

From that day on, he would stay home in the evening to prepare the lessons. Because the cla.s.s was already in motion, it was impossible to change and he had to go to teach it twice a week. Though Manna was glad about the reconciliation, the two lonely evenings each week still irritated her. Sometimes she felt depressed when he wasn't home, and she couldn't help imagining how to give him a piece of her mind.

8.

As her belly bulged out in the summer, Manna grew more grumpy. She resented Lin's absence from home two evenings a week. She knew the cla.s.s would be over soon, but she couldn't help herself, treating him as though he were having an affair. Her peevish face often reminded Lin of what she had said the day after their wedding, ”I wish you were paralyzed in bed, so you'd stay with me all the time.”

Is this love? he would wonder. Probably she loves me too much.

One late afternoon in August, Manna returned from the grocery store with four cakes of warm tofu in a yellow plastic pail. Putting it down on the kitchen range, she said to Lin, ”Something is wrong with me.” Hurriedly she went into the bedroom, and he followed her in.

She looked down at the crotch of her baggy pants and found a wet patch. ”Oh, I must've broken my water.”

”Really?” He was alarmed. The pregnancy had not reached the ninth month yet.

”Quick, let's go to the medical building,” she said.

”Don't panic. It may be too early and could be false labor.”

”Let's go. I'm sure it's time.”

”Can you walk?”

”Yes.”

Together they set out on their way, he supporting her by the arm. The sun was setting, but the heat was still springing up from the asphalt road, which felt soft under their feet. A few lines of green and white clothes were swaying languidly among the thick aspens behind a dormitory house. A large gra.s.shopper whooshed away from the roadside, flas.h.i.+ng the pinkish lining of its wings, then b.u.mped into a cotton quilt hanging on a clothesline and fell to the ground. The leaves of some trees on the roadside were shriveled and darkened with aphids because it hadn't rained for a whole month. Here and there caterpillars' droppings were scattered on the ground. Lin was paying close attention to the road so as to avoid places where Manna might make a false step; at the same time he grew more apprehensive, thinking of the baby that would be premature.

When they arrived at the building, Manna was rushed into a small room on the third floor, in which an examination table, upholstered with sponge rubber and s.h.i.+ny leather, served as a birth bed. Nurse Yu spread a sterile cloth on the table and helped Manna climb onto it. A few minutes later Manna's contractions started and she groaned.

Nurse Yu ran out to send for Haiyan, the only obstetrician in the hospital, who had left for home. At the entrance of the building she b.u.mped into her friend Snow Goose, who agreed to come up and help.

In the room upstairs Manna groaned again, clutching Lin's arm.

”You'll be all right, dear,” he said.

”Oh, my kidneys!” She was panting and rubbing her back with her free hand.

”It can't be your kidneys, Manna,” he said as though examining a regular patient. ”The pain must radiate from your pelvis.”

”Help me! Don't just talk!”

He was baffled for a moment; then he pressed his palm on the small of her back and began ma.s.saging her. Meanwhile she was moaning and sweating. He had no idea what else he should do to alleviate her pain. He tried to recall the contents of a textbook on childbirth he had studied two decades before, but he couldn't remember anything.

Haiyan didn't arrive until an hour later. She looked calm and apologized for being delayed by traffic. After examining Manna briefly, she told Nurse Yu to test the patient's blood pressure and then shave her. Next she ordered Snow Goose, ”Flick on the fans and boil some water.” Then, turning to Lin, she said, ”Her cervix is only three centimeters open. It will take a while.” Putting her palm on the patient's forehead, she said, ”Everything will be all right, Manna.”

Lin drew Haiyan aside and whispered, ”Do you think she can survive this? You know her heart isn't very strong.”

”So far she's doing fine. Don't worry. The baby is coming and it's too late to think about anything else. But I'll keep that in mind.”

She moved back to the table and said, ”Manna, I'm going to give you an oxytocin drip, all right?”

”Yes, do it. Let me get through this quickly.”

”Can I do something?” Lin asked Haiyan.

”Did you have dinner?”