Part 19 (2/2)
”Lexi-”
”Clare, this can't wait.”
”All right, but why do we have to go all the way out to Moon Sh.e.l.l Beach? We're grown-ups now. Let's just have a drink.”
”You'll know why when I tell you. I really need to tell you this at Moon Sh.e.l.l Beach.”
”Miss?” Two women stuck their heads in the door. ”Are you open yet?”
”Fine,” Clare snapped. ”Ten-fifteen.”
Clare arrived at the marsh to find Lexi's Range Rover already parked on the side of the road. She found the entrance to the path and impatiently shoved her way through the thickets. She'd phoned Adam to tell him she couldn't see him tonight, and she was tired and cranky, so she crashed along, smas.h.i.+ng gra.s.ses and mosses beneath her sandals, and came out onto the beach to find Lexi already there, pacing on the sand.
Late-summer light, moonlight, and lights from all the boats in the harbor lit their beach in a cool blue glow. A breeze ruffled the waters and made the tide splash onto the sand.
Lexi's white-blond hair was twisted high at the back of her head, held with a clip. She wore a short-sleeved white tee with a dramatically swirling peach and ivory skirt.
”Clare! Thank you for coming. It's really good of you. I know you must be exhausted-”
”I am exhausted. You must be, too. So what's up?”
Lexi looked anguished. She hugged herself, then flapped her hands in the helpless gesture Clare had seen all her life.
”Oh, stop it, Lexi!” Clare snapped impatiently.
”Clare, I'm pregnant!” Lexi snapped back.
Clare gawked. ”What?”
”Just a month, but I had to tell you.”
”It's Jesse's?”
Lexi nodded.
A gull flew overhead, silent except for the flap of its wings.
”Well, d.a.m.n, Lexi. Didn't you use birth control?” Jesse had been a fanatic about birth control with Clare. She'd been on the Pill for years. That meant that Jesse was either so much in love with Lexi or so driven by uncontrollable pa.s.sion that he hadn't used a condom.
Lexi looked away, embarra.s.sed. ”Not the first time.”
That stung. As if trying to walk away from her emotions, Clare strode past Lexi down the small beach, until she was at the water's edge. A cloud drifted over the moon. Shadows caught, then vanished. Clare tried to still her racing heart. She thought of Adam. That helped. She thought of Lexi, pregnant. Turning, she asked, ”What are you going to do?”
Lexi's voice was low. ”Claire, listen. I got pregnant three times when I was married to Ed. And I had three miscarriages.”
Clare's hand went to her heart. ”Oh, Lexi. I'm sorry.”
”So I want to try to keep this baby, Clare.”
Jesse's baby, Clare thought. Clare's dream baby...in Lexi's arms. A kind of panic struck her. ”Lexi, you know what? I can't do this.”
”Clare-”
”I'm sorry. I'm not in love with Jesse anymore, and I wish you well, but I just can't-I can't be here right now.” Abruptly, she turned back to the path.
”Clare!” Lexi followed. ”Clare, please.”
Clare kept walking, and the sharp-edged gra.s.ses lashed her bare skin. She wanted to run.
Behind her, Lexi yelled, ”Clare, stop. Clare, you are my best friend, you've always been my only best friend. I need you now.”
Clare stopped. She turned to look at Lexi.
Lexi stood with her hands on her waist. ”Clare,” she said softly. ”A baby.”
Clare remembered being a little girl with Lexi, carrying their dolls swaddled in blankets, solemnly discussing bottles and diapers as they held their babies close, patting their backs, rocking them. Clare thought of Penny's baby, Mikey. The snuggling weight. The trusting eyes. The gleeful laugh. She felt tears well in her eyes.
”Gosh, Lexi, it will be so beautiful.”
Lexi's mouth trembled. ”You think?”
Stepping forward, Clare put her hand on Lexi's belly. For a moment they both were very still, listening, waiting. Then Clare laughed. ”Flat as a board, as always.”
Together they walked back to the beach and settled down on the sand, side by side, their arms wrapped around their knees, looking out at the water.
”Does Jesse know?” Clare asked.
”No, I haven't told him yet. Haven't told anyone but you. I want to wait at least another month. I mean, I've miscarried before in the first or second months.”
”Maybe it's was Ed's sperm causing the miscarriages,” Clare suggested.
”Oh, I hope so.” Lexi put her hands on the sand as she leaned back. ”I don't know what Jesse will do. I don't even know what I want him to do.”
”He's not Mr. Reliability.”
”I know. This might completely freak him out.”
”Or not. He might be in love with you.”
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