Chapter 20 (1/2)
Chapter 20: The Third Summer.
As soon as I opened the door to the study, I heard Xu Wei Yu and Xiao Di fighting……over video chat.
Wei Yu: “During my high school years, I had a crew cut, I have confidence and natural beauty, so even if I have a crew cut, I’m still handsome. With your haircut, you can’t even see properly.”
Xiao Di: “My head costed fifty pounds!”
“Heh, your head is probably only worth fifty pounds.”
“What do you mean?”
“Why do you want me to repeat that your head is only worth fifty?”
“I don’t want to talk to you anymore, tell my sis to come! Where’s my sis? Why do you keep using her computer! Tell my sis to come speak with me! You go die!”
Me: “……”
Wei Yu turned to me, “Why does your little brother keep swearing ah.”
Me: “Can’t help it, his upbringing is bad.”
Wei Yu: “How is it ah, it’s him who didn’t learn well!”
Xiao Di was shouting “Sis, sis, sis” on the other side. I went over and asked, “What’s the matter?”
Xiao Di: “There’s two days left until I come back. What should I bring you? Sis.”
Wei Yu: “I will make all your sister’s wishes come true so just mind your own business. Go and stay somewhere cold.”
Xiao Di: “You go and stay somewhere cold! No, you go and stay somewhere hot and die from the heat, it’s best if you get steamed into a roast pig!”
Wei Yu: “Even if I’m roasted, my breed isn’t pig. This is common knowledge, did you graduate from primary?”
Xiao Di: “You didn’t graduate from primary!”
Me: “Can’t you two rest for a while?”
Wei Yu laughed happily, “It’s fun.”
Xiao Di: “Shameless!”
Me: “Okay, you two can continue being intimate, I’m going off to watch a movie.”
The two: “……”
Xiao Di was very close with his cousin brother who was two years older. Every time he came back, the two of them would get together. Once, I walked past and saw my cousin lightly pat Xiao Di’s head smiling with a “you understand” expression. However, Xiao Di said, “If you have anything to say then just say it, my head isn’t a touch screen!”
My cousin slyly said, “Did’t I tell you to bring back that something something?”
Xiao Di: “What ah?”
“That thing ah.”
“Those banned goods? Do you think I can bring them on the plane? Bro.”
I asked, “Bring what?”
“Nothing, nothing, nothing! Cousin, I’m going out to play ball with Zi Hao. We’ll come back later to eat ha.”
Outside the door, cousin shouted quietly at Xiao Di, “What banned goods? Are apples banned goods?! I was nearly done in by you, your brother in law is a police.”
Xiao Di: “Police my a.s.s!” I couldn’t hear the rest but I think it definitely wasn’t any nice words.
Xiao Di was just learning to drive. When we went out, Xiao Di drove but he didn’t drive for 10 meters before Wei Yu shouted, “Right lane, drive on the right lane!”
Xiao DI: “You’re too noisy!”
“If you don’t drive wrong then of course I won’t be noisy, who told you to be so stupid.”
“I always drive on the left lane, it’s you who’s stupid okay!”
“Don’t swear when you lose ah, no cla.s.s. Look at the front properly.”
He didn’t drive 50 metres before Wei Yu shouted, “Big sis* ah, right lane!”
Xiao Di: “Sis your little sis!**”
*[Big sis is similar to my G.o.d]
**[Your little sis is similar to your mom in English, basically swearing.]
Me: “……” This relations.h.i.+p’s become complicated.
Xi Diao shouted at me, “Sis ah, tell him to shut up, so annoying!”
Me: “I’m used to it.”
Them: “……”
Mother bought a puppy to raise, Xiao Di loves pets and he would dote on it using all kinds of methods. In the morning I walked past his room, when I opened the door, I saw him conversing with the puppy, “May I help you? ……No? Ok, Can you help me?” Wearing clothes-ing……
Xiao Di spent his summer vacation at home and whenever he had the time, he would play games. Thus, my mother asked me, “Does he still have hope?”
I haven’t spoken when through the open study room door, Xiao Di shouted over, “I know how I’m doing, you guys don’t have to worry!”
Later, I asked him, “How do you know how you’re doing?”
Xiao Di: “Games and studies need to be grasped in two hands, both hands must be strong.”
“……”
At night, I went with Xiao Di to walk the puppy. He conversed with the puppy the whole way, “Did you have enough to eat for dinner?”
Puppy: “Woof.”
“Not full ah, but I told yo to eat more so why didn’t you eat? You’re always wanting more later, it’s very hard for me!”
I started laughing.
Xiao Di continued, “As long as you stick with me, you’ll will flourish in the future.”
Puppy: “Woof woof!”
Xiao Di: “That’s right! Call me boss.”
Puppy: “Woof!”
Xiao Di: “Good! Later I’ll teach you how to play games.”
Dog: “Woof woof woof!”
Me: “……”
Xiao Di was chatting with his friends and I stood behind him and read it for a while. I saw him typing some: You mum’s (later I found out it meant: f.u.c.k) balabala (completely English). Then the other person sent: It should be your mum……
Xiao Di: “Differences in culture is the most annoying!”
I slapped his head, “Speak with more care.”
Xiao Di turned, “Sis, I have the most manners in my cla.s.s.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s true, I never say f.u.c.k, I only say s.h.i.+t.”
I was speechless, there’s not much difference between the two.