Part 13 (2/2)
That's how we fight against rash reactions-by using our will to make a decision to follow G.o.d's Word rather than our feelings. We have spent a lifetime reacting to most things without considering G.o.d's Word, so the change will take time. But don't be discouraged and don't ever give up!
CHAPTER 55.
Developing a Compa.s.sionate Heart Many times when people have been hurt badly in their past, they develop a hard-core att.i.tude and build invisible walls to protect themselves. They may have all the same feelings others have, but they are unable to show them. Sometimes they may even be so hurt they become callous and unable to feel anything. In either case, there is a real need for healing.
The Lord called my attention to two things in a pa.s.sage in Ephesians 4 about unbelievers. First of all, it says unbelievers are so callous and hard they are past feeling. But in the same verse it says they live by their feelings in sensuality and carnality. As I meditated on that statement, the Lord showed me that such people are past doing what they should be doing with their feelings.
G.o.d gives us feelings for a specific purpose in our walk with Him. Unbelievers have been hardened to the place they are, past using their feelings for the right purpose. Satan has moved them into an area in which they are living riotous lives, doing whatever they feel like doing. You and I are not to live by the philosophy of today's world: ”If it feels good, do it!”
Jesus experienced every emotion and suffered every feeling you and I do, yet without sinning (see Hebrews 4:15). Why did He not sin? He did not give in to His wrong feelings. He knew the Word of G.o.d in every area of life because He spent years studying it before He began His ministry. The Bible says that as a child Jesus ”grew and became strong in spirit, filled with wisdom” (Luke 2:40). By the time He was twelve years old, He thought He was old enough to go to the temple in Jerusalem and ”be about His Father's business” (Luke 2:4152) but He still had years of learning before He entered His full time ministry. You and I will never be able to say no to our feelings if we don't have a strong knowledge of the Word of G.o.d within us. Jesus had the same feelings we do, but He never sinned by giving in to the bad ones.
When I am hurt by someone and I feel angry or upset, it is such a comfort to me to be able to lift my hurt to the Lord, saying, ”Jesus, I am so glad You understand what I am feeling right now, and You don't condemn me for feeling this way. I don't want to give vent to my emotions. Help me, Lord, to get over them. Help me forgive those who have wronged me and not slight them, avoid them, or seek to pay them back for the harm they have done me. Help me to not live under condemnation in thinking I shouldn't be feeling this way.”
It is not a matter of just thinking, I shouldn't be feeling this way; it is a matter of crying out to G.o.d and functioning in the fruit of the Spirit already inside us called self-control (see Galatians 5:23). You and I don't have to feel condemned because we have bad feelings. Jesus understands. His main concern is that we come to the point where we are like Him: humble, gentle, meek, and lowly. This does not mean we become a doormat for people to walk all over, but G.o.d wants us to develop compa.s.sion, understanding, and softness of heart.
Because I was hurt really badly in my childhood, I developed a hard core and built walls for self-protection, just like those I have mentioned. I became hard and calloused on the inside. But I learned and am still learning that we can become like Jesus, Who is humble, gentle, meek, and lowly, and not harsh, hard, sharp, and pressing (see Matthew 11:2930).
No matter what our past experiences or our present feelings, we are to be compa.s.sionate toward others. We are to rejoice with those who rejoice, but we are also to weep with those who weep (see Romans 12:15).
When G.o.d gave Solomon the opportunity to ask for anything he wanted, he requested an understanding heart. No matter what anybody does or has done to us, we should pray for them and try to understand what happened to them to make them the way they are. Hurting people hurt people, but love can heal and change them. Anybody can be tough, harsh, and hard-hearted, but those who seek G.o.d can be tender, compa.s.sionate, and understanding.
It is obvious Satan wants us to develop hardness and callousness so we cannot feel or be sensitive to the needs of others. G.o.d wants us to be more sensitive to the feelings and needs of others and less sensitive to our own feelings and needs. He wants us to deposit ourselves in His hands and let Him take care of us while we are practicing being kind and compa.s.sionate and sensitive to other people. As believers, we are not to be led by our negative feelings, but we are to be moved by compa.s.sion and understanding to those in need. This can only happen when we bend our will to G.o.d's will.
As believers, we are not to be led by our negative feelings, but we are to be moved by compa.s.sion and understanding to those in need.
CHAPTER 56.
Proper Timing I would like to give you an a.s.signment. I'm suggesting that you read the book of Proverbs and notice how often it speaks of wisdom. It never tells us to be led by emotion, but it strongly encourages us to pursue wisdom. I like to say wisdom does now what it will be satisfied with later. It does not merely do what it feels like doing, but it chooses what is right.
I think we all know that people led by their feelings do not want to wait for anything. They want everything right now, but as you study Proverbs one of the things you will learn is wisdom waits for the proper time to do things.
Wisdom always waits for the right time to act, while our personal desires call for immediate action. Emotionalism is rash. It does not stop to consider the outcome of its actions. While wisdom calmly looks ahead to determine how a decision will affect the future, feelings are only concerned with what is happening at the moment. ”Be not rash with your mouth, and let not your heart be hasty to utter a word before G.o.d” (Ecclesiastes 5:2).
Wisdom always waits for the right time to act.
How many times have you said or done something in the heat of the moment, then later experienced deep, deep regret for your rash action? ”Oh, if I had only kept my mouth shut!” It is amazing the damage that can be done to a relations.h.i.+p by one emotional outburst.
One time, when I was trying to learn to control my mouth and not talk back to my husband, I got so emotional the Lord had to say to me, ”Joyce, that's enough! Don't you say another word!” I hurriedly left the room, ran down the hall, and locked myself in the bathroom. I was so upset I buried my face in a towel and screamed into it! Sometimes the strongholds in our flesh become so ingrained it takes some pretty determined action to break them down. That's why we need to learn to fight against our undisciplined desires and bring them into submission to the will of G.o.d.
How many times would things have turned out quite differently in your life had you only waited and seriously thought about a decision before you made it? We can all think of many times like that, so let's at least learn from our mistakes and not keep doing the same destructive thing over and over. We think it is hard to wait and often say that, but the really hard thing is behaving rashly and then spending days, months, or even years trying to undo the damage done in that moment of reaction.
Even when I am making a serious purchase I often walk away from the item for five or ten minutes, giving my emotions an opportunity to subside before I decide what I want to do. Most of the world is in deep debt because of emotional spending. Something they see gets them excited, and their desire hinders common sense and reason. I really encourage you to make a decision to be an expert at waiting for proper timing. Don't do things you don't have peace in your heart about doing.
Thousands of people struggle trying to keep commitments they made in a time of heated emotion. Think before you make a promise and make sure you really want to do long term what is going to be required.
Your Emotions
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