Part 14 (1/2)
CHAPTER 57.
G.o.d Gave Us Emotions to Enjoy Life At times we enjoy our emotions and the support they give us. At other times, when our emotions work against us, we would rather be rid of them! It is important to recognize that G.o.d gave us emotions for a reason. Our job is not to try to rid ourselves of emotions but learn how to manage them.
Our job is not to try to rid ourselves of emotions but learn how to manage them.
For example, G.o.d caused me to understand anger is just an emotion He gave us for a reason like the other emotions He gave us. Like pain, anger warns us something is wrong. Without the capacity to become angry, we wouldn't recognize mistreatment of ourselves or another. The Bible does not teach that we are never to feel anger. Instead it teaches us when we do become angry, we are not to sin, but rather we are to manage or control our anger in the proper way: ”Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26 KJV).
There was a time when G.o.d gave me a revelation about the truth of that scripture. One day as I was about to leave home to go preach, I became angry with my husband. Guilt and condemnation came over me. I thought, Joyce, how can you go out and preach to others after getting angry like that this morning? Of course, I was still angry and the question really bothered me. As I began to meditate on it, the Lord revealed to me the truth of the above verse in Ephesians which says to be angry and sin not. He let me know that feeling anger is not a sin, but acting on it improperly or not being willing to let it go is sin.
Problems with anger, as with our other emotions, come when Satan tries to use and abuse our anger to lead us into sin. Many times people come to me for counseling, saying, ”I have this deep-seated anger inside me.” This type of anger is often a wound left over from childhood hurts. In that case, the answer is not merely to get rid of the anger, but to get at the root of what caused it in the first place.
It is not right to go around feeling angry all the time, any more than it is right to go around feeling pain all the time. Many Christians have the false idea they are never to become angry. When they become angry, they condemn themselves for even feeling angry. No matter how hard we try, we will always have to deal with the emotion of anger.
Many people who struggle with controlling the anger they feel rising are surprised to hear it is actually possible to learn how to control their emotions. We need to learn how to start dealing with them instead of simply venting or repressing and consequently feeling guilty and condemned because of them. Here is another example you might relate to. Imagine for a moment that you are looking through a magazine or a catalog and you spot a photograph of an attractive person of the opposite s.e.x. Suddenly you feel a s.e.xual emotion. Does this mean you are perverted and have something desperately wrong with you? Does it mean you are not really saved-that you don't truly love G.o.d or your spouse? No, it simply means you are human and subject to all the same emotional feelings and reactions experienced by other human beings. The important thing is how you handle your emotions. Do you keep staring at the photo or do you turn away realizing those feelings should be reserved for your marriage partner only? We all have those feelings but we are to learn, with G.o.d's help, to keep them focused toward our spouses.
Romans 6:2 tells us that if we are Christians we have died to sin. It does not tell us sin is dead! Sin still initially presents itself in the form of temptation and then it becomes a full-blown problem if we give in to the temptation. I recommend reading the sixth chapter of Romans in its entirety. If you do that, you will see that our instruction is to resist sin in the power of the Holy Spirit. We are not told we will never feel emotions, but we are told to not continue offering our bodies as instruments of sin.
It is important to remember that emotions won't disappear. They will always be there. We must not deny their existence or feel guilty because of them. Instead we are to channel them in the right direction. We are to deny the flesh the right to rule us, but we are not to deny that it exists.
The message is simple: There is nothing wrong with emotions, as long as they are kept under control. There is a way to manage our destructive emotions so we can use the good emotions in the way G.o.d intends-for example, to move in love and compa.s.sion toward others and to experience great joy in serving G.o.d.
CHAPTER 58.
Negative Emotions Steal Your Energy Do you have any idea how valuable you are? If you suffer from self-doubt or self-hatred, if you abuse your body with bad food or bad habits, even if you simply put yourself at the very bottom of the list of people you do things for, under the kids and spouse and parents and boss and friends, then you do not understand your own value. If you did, you wouldn't treat yourself that way. You were put on this earth to spread G.o.d's love, and nothing could be more valuable than that.
You were put on this earth to spread G.o.d's love, and nothing could be more valuable than that.
Maybe you never learned your own importance. That's what happened to me. As a child, I was abused and taught that I was the least valuable person on the planet. It took me many years of studying G.o.d's Word and fellows.h.i.+pping with Him before I got even an inkling of my own worth.
Or maybe you did know your value when you were younger, but somewhere along the way you forgot it, buried it under a to-do list that clamored louder for your attention than your own soul. If so, then join the club. The degraded value systems in the modern world pummel us with the message that our spirit, soul, and body come last, after money and food and status and stuff. No matter how hard we resist, we all succ.u.mb now and then.
I can't tell you strongly enough how important it is to reform your value system, to go back to a much older value system-G.o.d's value system. It applies to all people, and it puts your entire being (body, mind, will, emotions, and spirit) right at the top of G.o.d's list of important and valuable things. Your entire being plays an important role in G.o.d's plan; He's entrusted you with the great responsibility of taking care of it. Only by keeping your spirit, soul, and body in tip-top condition can you truly do G.o.d's work.
It is important to deal with negative emotions because they steal your energy and can even be the root cause of serious disease. Remember that disease causes disease.
Let me give you an example. One day I was experiencing a lot of guilt over something I did wrong. Although I asked G.o.d to forgive me and actually believed He had, I still felt guilty. My mind was on my past when it should have been on my future. I felt depressed and discouraged. I had a headache, and in general did not feel like doing much of anything. The Holy Spirit began to deal with my att.i.tude. He asked me if I thought my att.i.tude was helping me or His work. He then said, ”I want you to get over this because you are no good to Me in this condition.” The Holy Spirit's straightforward way of dealing with me caused me to see that I was wasting my day on negative emotions. I was actually allowing my soul (mind, will, and emotions) to adversely affect my spirit and my body. My spirit felt oppressed and my body ached. We must realize we are complex creatures and every part of us affects the other parts.
CHAPTER 59.
You Can Control Your Emotions I used to wonder, ”What is wrong with me, anyway?” Have you ever felt that way? You lie in bed in the morning, making all sorts of wonderful plans about how good you're going to be that day, but as soon as you are up, you ruin your plans. You deal with a few people, somebody does one little thing you don't like, and you turn into a totally different human being. I always say I never had any problem getting along with everybody when n.o.body was home. It was when they came home at night that I had a problem!
I could be so spiritual during the day, singing praises to the Lord, ”I surrender all . . .” Then my children would maybe drop or spill something, causing me to fly into a rage-a spiritual Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Afterward, I spent the rest of the evening under self-condemnation. The same devil who tempts you to act stupid is the same devil who comes around and condemns you for doing what he told you to do.