Part 36 (2/2)
”I love you,” I whisper and turn to look at him.
Jax's smile is bigger and brighter than any I've seen before, and our eyes meet in understanding. Others won't understand how this could happen between us, and will deny Jax and Tegan could work, but we will move in our own direction.
I've spent hours recently thinking about the situation, sleepless night fighting with what my heart wants and my mind denies. Look at the insanity that's. .h.i.t my organised world. The roundabout of life with Jax. Ruby Riot is on the way up; and if I join Jax, will I be dragged down? Something undeniable has grown between us, but can we have a future?
I have no choice. My heart won weeks ago.
38.
TEGAN.
Jax stays at the hospital with me for a couple of hours while I sleep, before disappearing to check into a hotel. I'm discharged but not before Bryn gives the doctor a grilling over whether I'm all right. Once Bryn drops me at his place, I text Jax to let him know I'm there and resting.
I wake late morning and shower, eager to see Jax again. Last night, I was a mess of emotions from the attack, and later Jax's words. Although I'm calmer now, I'm still wired from his admission. My heart flutters as I picture the way Jax looked at me, how he travelled hours to see me. Scott never looked at me the way Jax does. Anybody can say the words, but I believe in the saying that 'eyes are the window to the soul.' Apart from Jax's, which are a window to his heart.
Jax arrives at Bryn's as I'm watching TV and when I answer the door, he takes a tentative step inside.
I laugh at his concerned look. ”Bryn isn't here. Besides, he's okay with you now. You know that.”
”Hmm.” Jax shoves his hands in his pockets and glances around. ”Nice place.”
Bryn isn't ostentatious. His huge apartment is half-empty, but what Bryn's saved on expensive furniture, he's spent on a top of the range sound system and the latest TV; the one I was terrified to touch earlier in case I broke it.
Everything is tidy. My slob of a brother now has the cleaning service to take care of that part of his life. A couple of pairs of women's shoes rest in a corner, those and the lingering smell of Avery's perfume reminds me she's around some days. Not today.
Avery stays at Bryn's occasionally, but she isn't a fixture yet. He told me they only reunited a few weeks ago and Avery is cautious. When and if she does move in, I'll need to leave. No way do I want to be in the midst of their re-forged, nauseatingly cute relations.h.i.+p. At least Bryn's mood has improved since Avery came back into his life.
”Did you come to tour Bryn's apartment or see me?” I ask with a mock pout.
A slow smile edges across Jax's face as he steps closer. The smile drops as he looks at my forehead. ”First, how are you feeling?”
”Fine. Honestly. No headache.”
”Right.” He brushes my hair from my face and pulls me in for a kiss.
This kiss is the one I wanted last night, a raw pa.s.sion with intensity cras.h.i.+ng into my body as his mouth slams against mine. I rake my fingers into Jax's hair and hold his head, sinking against him as he drags my hips into his. This is the kiss we needed to share last night. The one to cement our emotional with our physical connection.
The ache for Jax I had when I saw him in the room last night explodes into need. A week since our skin has touched, since his mouth explored my body and fingers caressed my skin, and there's no chance of self-control.
I pull at Jax's clothes, pus.h.i.+ng my hands beneath his s.h.i.+rt and digging my fingers into his back. Jax groans into my mouth as he grabs my a.s.s and pulls me closer.
”Not here,” he says hoa.r.s.ely. ”Bryn could -”
Itching to drag his clothes off, but gripping onto rational thought, I pull him by the hand to the back of the apartment and into my room. Bryn walking into his home with Jax and me half-naked wouldn't be a good moment. The bedroom door slams closed behind Jax, and I push myself against him until he hits the door.
”f.u.c.k, I've missed you,” he says, teeth closing over my earlobe. I shudder at the sensation and step back, yanking my t-s.h.i.+rt over my head. My b.r.e.a.s.t.s swell against the lace bra, heavy with arousal. Jax drags his s.h.i.+rt off too, eyes on mine, and the moment he reveals his skin, I'm pressed against him again, desperate to feel the warm strength from my memories.
”Missed you, too.” I seize his head for another toe-curling kiss. ”Don't talk.”
I strip the rest of my clothes off, desperate to be naked with this man as soon as possible. With a laugh, Jax does the same. ”I guess you did,” he says and closes his mouth over my nipple.
I suck in a breath as he holds me to him, running his tongue against the peaked nipple. The ache between my legs grows. No way can I wait for him to leisurely explore me.
If he dares to tease me, he's in trouble.
”Bed,” I whisper and grab his wrist.
Jax stumbles on my discarded clothes as I tug him onto the bed, wrapping my legs around his as I fall backward into the soft sheets. Jax slides a hand between my legs and swears under his breath when he touches my wet heat. I s.h.i.+ft against him, pressing against his palm and he slowly pushes a finger inside. Closing my eyes, I lose myself in the place I've longed to go for days.
Jax returns to exploring my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, dragging his tongue from the edge of the soft mounds, circling my nipple. I move in response to the way his attention pulls my insides tight as his fingers tease, stroking my swollen c.l.i.t.
Warm, heavy breath brushes my face and I open my eyes to meet Jax's, dark with l.u.s.t. ”I've missed f.u.c.king your hot, wet p.u.s.s.y,” he growls ”I've missed your hard c.o.c.k,” I whisper back against his ear, enjoying his sharp intake of breath. ”I need you. Now.”
Our mouths meet in another rough kiss, his lips bruising mine; he tastes of mint, and of memories of mind-melting s.e.x. Jax slides his c.o.c.k against my slick heat, and the aching becomes unbearable. I need him to fill me, stretch me, take me back to the place only he can. ”In my drawer.”
I wriggle away and pull at the drawer by the bed. Jax leans across, his weight sinking onto me as he pulls out a condom. He sits back and I roll the condom onto him slowly, enjoying the noise of pleasure he makes as my fingers stroke him. As soon as I let go, he grabs my wrists and pins my arms above my head.
”Tell me, Tegan. What do you want me to do?” I squirm against Jax, wrapping my legs around his waist and drawing him closer. His c.o.c.k rubs the edge of me, close but too far.
This is unbearable. Too much. My nerve endings burn and the l.u.s.t overrides. ”f.u.c.k me!” I growl at him. Jax doesn't need asking twice. There's no teasing when he thrusts hard into me.
I moan out his name and s.h.i.+ft positions so he's. .h.i.tting the spot guaranteed to push me to the brink. The few weeks together on tour, we learned what drives each other crazy through nights and days of teasing and exploration. s.e.x with Jax is the best kind of addiction.
Jax stills, then rocks his hips slowly against mine. ”I meant what I said.” He looks down, pus.h.i.+ng damp hair from my face.”
”That you missed f.u.c.king me?' I say hoa.r.s.ely, rolling my hips against him.
Jax holds his weight away; the tension in his arms and face evidence his self-control, but his eyes hold tenderness. ”No. I love you, Tegan. You're amazing. Every part of you.”
I fight hard, but can't, because the tears well in my eyes. Jax creates a new kind of warmth in my chest as he tells me the words I always wanted to hear, but was scared to say myself until yesterday.
”I love you,” I whisper.
”I'm going to spend the weekend showing you how much.”
He kisses me, the movement of his lips on mine ramping up the need for him to take things up a gear. I struggle to free my hands from his and when he releases them, I dig my nails into his backside draw his body hard against me. ”Don't stop. And don't tease,” I warn.
”No f.u.c.king way.”
Jax moves inside me again, gently at first and harder, the momentum hitting the sweet spot he found with his fingers earlier. The movement b.u.mps my c.l.i.t and I kiss him forcefully again as he gathers pace. I close my eyes and give in to the pleasure pulsing through.
”Tegan.” I open my eyes. The intensity in his gaze dissolves the last barrier, giving him all of my guarded heart. We're here, in tune and meant to be.
<script>