Part 13 (1/2)

Stef glared at me. ”If you're going to be so bad at keeping secrets, you need to figure out a more delicate way of revealing them.” She turned away and bent over her SED.

Now everyone was angry with me. Stef, because I'd told the others, and Sam and Whit because I hadn't told them before. I probably deserved to be left alone.

But even as I leaned my forehead on my knees, Cris curled up next to me, a companionable warmth.

”Thanks,” I mumbled, and he gave a quiet hum. I hated Sam being mad at me, but what I had to do next would make it worse.

With a tired sigh, I grabbed my SED and s.h.i.+fted to the map, trying to work out time and distances.

After an hour, Sam and Whit returned to the cave. Stef and I both looked up expectantly.

”Ana,” Sam started, but I stood and shook my head.

”You might as well just sit and listen to what I have to say. None of you are going to like it.”

Sam's dark eyes narrowed, but he leaned against the wall, next to Whit. Stef gave me a wary look, and Cris lingered in the corner, invisible among the shadows.

I begged my voice not to shake. ”This is my plan. It's going to sound rash, but unless any of you have better ideas, it's the only plan we've got.” Dread coiled in my stomach as my friends' expressions grew more and more skeptical. ”We get the dragons to help us.”

Sam turned ash pale. Stef glared like she was ready to kill me, while Whit just looked stricken and like he hoped maybe this was a joke.

If only that were true.

Cris gave a small, disbelieving trill. Everyone's eyes darted toward him, but no one spoke. They just waited for me to explain myself.

”It sounds horrible, but hear me out. The dragons havea”They might havea”I read in the booksa”” The words tumbled from me, tripping and b.u.mping one another. Everything came out in the wrong order.

I stopped, swallowed hard, and tried again.

”For thousands of years, dragons have come down from the north. Every time, they attack the temple. The day they flew in during a market, I remember seeing them come straight for the temple, ignoring everything else, even the people attacking them. I remember wondering, why? Why would they willingly sacrifice themselves to destroy a building?

”Now I think they're not attacking the building. They're attacking Janan. I know everyone else feels calm and peaceful when they look at the temple, like they're safe, but since the first time I saw it, the temple has made me feel awful. Like I need to shrink up. Like something is watching me and doesn't like me. And I thought that was just because so many people were watching me and not liking me, but then I realized Janan was real. Then I found out that if not for Menehem's experiment, Janan would havea””

Sam jerked his head up, his gaze so black and anguished I hardly recognized him. He looked a little wild, like he'd give anything to make me stop talking.

”The dragons tried to destroy the temple that day. Then, during Templedark, they brought more and attacked people, too, but lots of dragons still went straight at the temple. While it was dark, they cracked the stone open. They wrapped themselves around the temple, squeezed and clawed, and broke it.”

After a moment of awkward humming, Cris said, -That only happened because of Menehem's poison.- ”I know it sounds like a terrible idea, and maybe it is, but there's more to my plan.” Why couldn't I stop talking? But the words kept rus.h.i.+ng out, like a waterfall. I looked at Stef and Whit. ”I have more of the poison Menehem used. While we were at the lab, I hid the poison so no one would find it. If we can convince the dragons they'll have a shot at destroying the templea””

Stef shook her head. ”Do you hear yourself? You just said *convince the dragons.' What makes you think that's possible?”

My throat constricted, making my words come out like squeaks. ”The centaursa””

She shook her head again. ”They didn't understand anything you said. You had two of their children and an army of sylph behind you. They didn't kill us because nothing can hurt a sylph.”

Cris keened softly.

Stef ignored him. ”The centaurs don't want to be your friends, Ana. If they'd found you without an army of sylph, they would have destroyed you. They would have destroyed all of us if Cris hadn't arrived. And dragons, Ana. Dragons.” She touched Sam's shoulder, anguish flas.h.i.+ng across her face as he jerked away. ”How can you ask that of Sam? You know what happens. How can you ask him to die?”

I looked at Sam, all the fire pouring out of me. I knew about the dragons. I knew about the thirty dragon deaths, and the way he'd been after the dragons attacked the market that day. I remembered the terror in his eyes, and the way he'd steadily grown distant and darker.

He had that look again. Fear. Horror.

Resignation.

His voice was deep, soft. ”She's not asking me to do anything she's not willing to do herself.”

Everyone looked from Sam to me, though Sam continued speaking.

”Ana doesn't expect to live through this, either. She's been waiting to die this entire time.”

I stared at my feet.

Sam's voice turned raw. ”She has this one life, and she's willing to risk it so others might live. We all came along for a greater cause, knowing we might sacrifice our lives. Knowing we won't be reincarnated if we succeed in stopping Janan's ascension. After living for five thousand years, suddenly stopping is such a terrifying concept.”

Where did they go? What did they do? Surely the soul lived on.

”But Ana has only had eighteen years.” His voice tightened. ”Nineteen.”

Today was my birthday. I'd forgotten.

”No matter what happens, there's no reincarnation for her. If she's willing to sacrifice the rest of her life for this, I can, too. She's not asking for anything outrageous. She's asking us to atone for what we've already done.”

I hadn't thought of it like that. ”I'm not trying to force you into going out of guilta””

Sam shook his head, and for a moment a there was a look in his eyes I couldn't identify, but it broke my heart. Then he was hard again. Distant again. ”You don't have to use guilt against us. If you're going north, then we all go. We can't stay behind, can we? There's no catching up with the other group. And there's no surviving on our own.”

So they'd join me not because they loved me or believed I was right, but because there was nowhere else to go. And because they believed they owed newsouls their lives.

They were angry with me. All of them. Even Sam.

Especially Sam.

”So that's your plan?” Stef said. ”Menehem's poison, dragons, and optimism?”

It sounded so stupid when she said it, but I wouldn't give in. ”The dragons will listen to me.”

”Why?” She scowled. ”Because you have sylph friends? Because you're the newsoul? Surely you realize that nothing else out therea”sylph asidea”cares what you are. They can't even tell the difference.”

”I'll find a way.” I would. I had to.

Stef leveled her gaze on me. ”Is that before or after they eat Sam?”

Her words were knives in my heart. ”I won't let anything hurt him.” Though when I met his eyes, I could see it was already too late.

”Even if you find a way to convince them, what next? You'll just set your poison out, put Janan to sleep, and let the dragons rampage through Heart?” Stef threw up her hands in mock surprise. ”Oh, I know why that sounds so familiar. That's exactly what Menehem did.”