Part 6 (2/2)

”You can do anything you want to, Grace.” There's silence for what feels like hours as we just sit at the edge of the plane with my legs up to the back of the entrance as I was told.

”Are you ready?” I begin to shake my head again as I keep my arms as close to my body as I can as I try to answer through the nerves and sickness.

”N...no no no no.” And then, all of a sudden I am thrown out of the plane freefalling to my doom. My body falls to earth with a speed I never knew existed. I can feel the pressure against my body and the harsh cold wind attacks my skin as we go cras.h.i.+ng through the air. My whole body feels so intense as I try to think how long we have been freefalling and asking myself why the 'chute hasn't been released.

I've annoyed Samuel that much that he's going to kill me.

Why hasn't the 'chute been released?

I'm going to die plummeting to the earth like the devil I am. Before that last thought can be digested I feel a sudden swoosh upwards and then we are floating. I can feel the tap on my shoulder and I let my arms slump to my sides and open my eyes.

”Look at that, isn't it beautiful.” I hear Samuel say and now that I feel safe with the 'chute open I can really enjoy the view before me. I can't help, but look all around me at all the different colors as we float back down to earth.

”Samuel, it's beautiful.”

”Nearly as beautiful as you.” I'm sure I'm hearing things now; the wind has affected my hearing.

”This is one of my favorite hobbies.” He's silent for a moment as we both take in the beauty around us. I always loved the countryside, but seeing it from up here gives it a whole new level.

”It's more fun doing it with you.” I try not to let his words affect me because I know deep down that they aren't true and I just enjoy the view as we get closer and closer to the ground. To my surprise the ground is coming up before us quicker than I think I would like. I liked the bubble Samuel and I could enjoy just the two of us and now it is coming to an end to never be done again I can't help the sudden sadness that engulfs me. I begin to get my legs up ready for landing.

”You need to get them higher than that, baby.”

”Yes, boss.” I must be feeling better if I can come back with that. I like to try and keep this alpha male on his toes. Before I know it we've landed and I'm sat on my b.u.m with myself in between Samuel's legs again and I can't help, but like the feeling. The feeling of finding my place within this crazy world, a place with Samuel by my side.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN.

GRACE.

”That was amazing.” I say as we walk back to the car.

”You had a good time?” I squeeze his hand as I step in front of him so he can see the seriousness in my face.

”I did.” I take in a breath. ”Thank-you.”

He gives me a smile and then I feel his fingers gently graze my cheek. I notice that I'm beginning to like the way he does that and I feel myself lean in to his touch.

”You're very welcome, Grace.” I watch as he seems to struggle with something for a moment and then he opens his mouth to speak and quickly closes it again as if he has changed his mind. We get to the car and Samuel opens my door for me, but just before I go to take my seat he takes my face in both his hands so that we are so close to one another it almost hurts.

”That's the first time I have ever done that with anyone.” I look at him, not quite believing what he has just told me. And I give him a questioning look as a little laugh escapes my lips.

”You don't believe me.” He places a hand over his chest while he stares down at me, but it doesn't leave me feeling uneasy. On the contrary, it leaves me wanting to comfort him and have his arms wrapped around my body.

”You wound me. To think you don't believe me.” He removes his hand from his chest while he places it under his eyes as if he is wiping away tears and I can't help it, all I hear is the loud laughter I produce while he laughs as well. Once we have both calmed down I take my seat and my heart loses too many beats as he stretches over me to take my belt and he traps me within my chair. He stops short just as I hear the buckle click into place and I can feel his breath against my skin. I look up into his eyes and I see so much emotion in them again that it confuses me, but I am not allowed to dwell on it as he runs a finger over my lips looking at me with such intensity that I feel the burn.

”Such beauty.” I take a swallow as I maintain eye contact and I can hear a voice deep within myself telling me to look anywhere but at him, but something is keeping my eyes there and the force is too strong to disobey.

”So beautiful, Miss Grace.” I feel Samuel's eyes roam up and down my body.

”You have nothing to say?” I feel his nose rub against my own as he continues to run his finger across my lips and then he moves it down my neck to my chest, to just above the peaks of my b.r.e.a.s.t.s and just when I think he's going to go further his fingers have gone and I can feel his face mere inches from my own and his breath by my ear.

”I know you feel it, just as much as I do.”

And with those words he is up from his knees and he is walking around the back of the car while I try to take in as many deep breaths as I can to try and control the thoughts that have started to go haywire within my head. He comes around and opens the door and takes his seat behind the wheel of the car. The car is reversed with such speed that I am thrown back into the back of the chair. We sit in silence as we make our way to the motorway and it doesn't seem to take too long till we are getting on the M5 and onto to familiar ground and I can feel the panic begin to creep in at what the M5 means. Home.

”Where are we going, Samuel?” He keeps his face straight on the road ahead which I am grateful for, but right now I need to be able to see his face.

”We're catching our plane from Bristol so we are heading in that direction.” Bristol. I can cope with that. But I notice that Samuel keeps looking over at me as if he still has something to say.

”What is it?”

”Well.” I can hear Samuel take in a deep breath and before he even says anything I can sense he is about to say something that I will not like.

”I thought it would be nice to stay in Taunton for a few days.”

”What?” I shout and I can see Samuel jump in his seat.

”Whoa, whoa, calm down, OK. You grew up there; I thought you would like to go back.” I can't believe he just said that, back to my home town is the worst place I could think of going, but I can't blame him as I have never really spoken about my past before. As if he can read my mind he says ”You never talk about your past so I just thought you would like it. I want to know more about you. About your childhood.” My childhood is nothing I care to talk about and I have to make him change his mind. I just don't know where I would begin. He takes a breath and goes into the slow lane as I see a pub come into view.

”I'm not going to know if you don't tell me.” I know the words he says are true, but I have never told anyone what happened in my childhood that drew me to London and I don't intend to now. The only people who really know what happened all those years ago are the few that were supposed to protect me but I am far too damaged to be protected so they didn't. I don't say anything as Samuel comes off the motorway and takes us down another road and closer to the pub I had seen in the distance. All I can think, about is what I will do if anyone recognizes me, how will I explain that to Samuel. He will, just like everyone else in town, feel anger towards me but the thought of Samuel thinking that of me scares me more than I ever thought possible. I have always just got on with it, I know what everyone thinks and for so long I have just tried to stay invisible and for the most part, and even though I have been lonely, it has worked and for that I am grateful. It doesn't matter to anyone else that what they think they know is all lies and so far from the truth, they think they know what happened and it makes me the devil, so everyone else is happy. It doesn't matter to anyone that it was all lies and that inside I am hurting and screaming to anyone that would listen, but no-one will. For so long and up till recently I was all alone in the world and as much as it is welcome, the longer I stay in Samuel's company I realize that there is more that I could enjoy, and that it is OK for little old me to have some friends.h.i.+p or even love. As if my inner self can't tolerate the thought of my own happiness I can feel the blackness of my world take a hold of me and draw me into its depths. I shake away my thoughts, it doesn't matter that I would hate for Samuel to think those things of me that everyone else does, the truth is, once he knows my past he will and then, just like everyone else, he won't want anything else to do with me. He will know I'm not worth it, that I am unworthy of him or anyone else and that would be that. I feel the tears roll down my face and I quickly try to wipe them away before Samuel sees, but I soon realize that we have come to a stop outside the pub and Samuel is watching me intently.

”How long have you been watching me?” I can't help but ask as I try to wipe away the last of my tears.

”Long enough to know you have secrets and that they still hurt you.” I look up to his eyes and I see the compa.s.sion that's held there and I so desperately want him to be the one and only I confide in, but the blackness surrounds me, shouting at me to not be a fool and succ.u.mb to Samuel's charms.

”Doesn't everyone?”

”No, Grace, not everyone, some actually talk.” He gives me an awkward smile and then looks around at the pub we have been parked in front of for, I don't know how long.

”Come on, let's get something to eat.” He opens his car door and I follow suit.

SAMUEL.

We are seated in a quiet area of the pub by one of the many windows and although we are close to the freeway it's actually quite peaceful. I look towards Grace and I can see the depths of her pain through her eyes and body language. She holds herself quite tight and it's as if a gust of wind would knock her over. She has gone back to that vulnerable girl I met all those weeks ago and I want to take her by her delicate shoulders and shake it out of her. I know she holds secrets and although normally I wouldn't give a s.h.i.+t, something in this girl has me standing to attention, begging her to trust me and share with me all that troubles that beautiful head of hers.

”What's the matter?” I ask her. She looks up to me with sad eyes and then with a blink it's as if the pain I once saw is wiped away. Since I met her she has been doing so well and as soon as I mentioned her home town it was as if she did a full one eighty and she has converted herself back to that timid, scared little girl.

”I'm OK.” But I can see the lie that resides there in her eyes.

”I don't think you are sweet cheeks.” She looks at me with an anger I haven't seen in her since I met her and it makes me feel for her more than I thought was possible. My feelings are growing and growing for her the longer I spend with her and I never want to let her go. I see her look at me in a way that no-one has ever looked at me before, she sees me, actually sees the man I am rather than the man the rest of the world sees.

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