Part 37 (1/2)

I'm sorry. A crying face icon.

256.

sixteenthings.indd 256 9/9/13 2:21 PM.

1 6 T H I N G S I T H O U G H T W E R E T R U E.

Th e happy bubbles in my brain begin popping.

”What's up?” Adam asks as he sips at his c.o.ke. He's learning to accept my phone habit, which bodes well for our future.

I hold up the phone and show him the message. He lifts his eye- brows, takes another bite of his sandwich, but doesn't comment.

He chews, watching me type.

I forgive you, I type. But that's not the whole message. I type more.

I forgive you, but I can't hang out with you anymore.

Friends don't do that to each other.

She has to deal with what she did, as much as I do. I glance at Adam, dying to add something about my fabulous new boyfriend.

And my new best friend. But I think of Amy. And how brave she is. And I want to be a little more like her. I press send and let her go. And then I tuck my phone in my pocket.

”It's not fair,” I tell Adam.

”What Lexi did?”

”No. Amy. She's done nothing to deserve being sick. Nothing.”

He nods and I lean closer to him, wis.h.i.+ng we could make her better.

My phone beeps again to let me know I got another text. I glance at it, frowning when I see it's from Jake.

Come right home. Right now.

257.

sixteenthings.indd 257 9/9/13 2:21 PM.

sixteenthings.indd 258 9/9/13 2:21 PM.

chapter twenty- four.

17. In the end, people get what they deserve.

#thingsIthoughtweretrue A dam holds my hand. ”It's going to be okay,” he says for the millionth time. I can hardly breathe. Jake's not picking up his cell phone or answering my frantic texts back. I've tried the home line, but no one's answering that either. I want to scream at Jake for not picking up.

It's my mom. I know it. My mom and I haven't talked since the fight. Not really. She's been falling all over Adam, practically greeting him at the door with a shoe in her mouth when he comes to get me. Now I'm horrified how badly I've been treating her.

When we finally get home, I run through the front door. Jake meets us in the doorway, staring at us with wide eyes.

”Morgan.” He looks like he's trying hard not to cry.

”What?” My mom is dead. I know it. Her heart has gone and done what she predicted- failed. ”Is it Mom?”

It's my fault. I did this. By refusing to forgive her. She died thinking I hated her, that I would never forgive her. Adam steps closer to me and his body heat warms my side. I squeeze my eyes shut. I sixteenthings.indd 259 9/9/13 2:21 PM.

J a n e t G u r t l e r don't hate her. Not really. I thought I had time to work things out in my head. I needed time. I planned on talking to her when I was twenty- one or something. A sob escapes from my chest. I figured I had lots of time.

Jake grabs me by the shoulder. ”No. Listen to me. Mom is fine. She's with Josh.” His face is so pale he looks like he's going to be sick.

”Where'd they go? Jake, what the h.e.l.l is going on?”

”Amy's parents called. They had Mom's cell number because of your trip.” Jake presses his lips tighter. ”I saw her this morning. I was planning to ask her out. When she got better, you know. She's supposed to get better. She's so cute. Real. We had a, like, a...con- nection.” He shakes his head.

”Oh my G.o.d- Amy?” I say.

The walls of the hallway tighten and the air becomes harder to breathe. I step away from Adam, trying to get s.p.a.ce, to breathe.

”She's gone, Chaps.” Jake's voice fades out, as if I'm listening to him from inside a tunnel. ”Her surgery was moved up. She went into cardiac arrest on the table. She died almost instantly.”

I'm the one shaking my head now. ”No, she didn't.”

I wrap my arms around myself. I'm freezing.

”s.h.i.+t,” I hear Adam say, but he's in a tunnel too. I can't feel his warmth even when he wraps both arms around me and pulls me into his chest.

”No, she didn't.” I stare at Adam's s.h.i.+rt and see it's getting wet. But I'm not crying. I'm not making noise. My body makes no sense to me.

The doorbell rings. We all stare at it.

260.

sixteenthings.indd 260 9/9/13 2:21 PM.

1 6 t h i n g s i t h o u g h t w e r e t r u e ”She can't die. She's only eighteen,” I say to both boys. It's not possible. Not fair. It's not fair. Jake walks to the front door and opens it.

Lexi is standing outside. I stare at her. Jakes stares at her. Adam has no idea who she is.

”You can't forgive me?” she says. She glances at Adam with his arms wrapped around me. Her eyes flash with something. Hatred?