Part 16 (2/2)
”No, I didn't,” growled Bob.
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”Well, he was a very eccentric old man. Deuced queer, you know, and the most absent-minded person that ever lived. He had a wooden leg late in his life, and I've often known him to put that leg on backward with the toes pointing behind him, and then he would come jolting down the street in the most extraordinary manner, with his good knee bending north and his timber knee doubling up southwardly; and when I would meet him, he would stop and growl because the authorities kept the pavements in such bad repair that a man could hardly walk.”
”I don't see anything very funny about that,” said Bob, impolitely and savagely.
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”Well, one day a few months ago,” continued Smiley, without noticing Mr.
Parker's ill-nature, ”he sauntered into the studio of the celebrated marine painter Hamilton, in Philadelphia. The artist was out at the moment, but standing upon the floor was a large and very superb picture of the sea-beach, with the surf rolling in upon it. The general stood looking at it for a while, until his mind wandered off from the present, and under the influence of the picture he was gradually impressed with a vague notion that he was at the seash.o.r.e. So, still gazing at the painting, he slowly removed his clothes, and finally stood in a revery without a st.i.tch upon him. Then he clasped his nose with his fingers, bent his neck forward and plunged head foremost into the surf. The people on the floor below thought there was an earthquake. The artist came rus.h.i.+ng in, and found General Chubb with his head against the washboard, one leg hanging from the ragged surf and the toes of his left foot struggling among the ruins of the lighthouse. Hamilton has that torn picture yet. He says that Chubb's dive is the highest tribute ever paid to his genius.”
As the lieutenant finished the narrative, Bob rose and left the room with the suggestion, muttered as he pa.s.sed me, that the story was tough.
”Mr. Parker don't seem well,” remarked the lieutenant when Bob had gone.
”Oh yes, he is perfectly well. I imagine that he does not regard you with precisely the same amount of enthusiastic admiration that he might perhaps feel if you were not treading on his toes a little.”
”Oh,” laughed the lieutenant, ”you refer, of course, to our relations with the Magruders? I don't like to talk much about that matter, of course; it is delicate, and you may think I am meddling with a business in which I have no concern. But perhaps I may as well tell you frankly that Parker has no earthly chance there--not the least in the world. The young lady won't smile on him. I am as certain of that as I am of death.”
”You are positive of that, are you?”
”Yes, sir, you can rely upon my word. Parker might as well give it up.
By the way, I wonder if he has gone down there now?”
”Very likely.”
”Well, I must say good-night, then; I promised to call there at half-past eight, and it is time to be off.”
So Lieutenant Smiley bade us adieu. Mrs. Adeler immediately asked:
”Do you believe what that man says?”
”Certainly not, my dear. I have as much faith as a dozen ordinary men, but it would require a grand army to believe him. He is foolish enough to hope to frighten Bob away. But Bob shall settle the matter to-morrow.
If he doesn't, we will disown him. The end of the campaign has come. Now for victory or defeat!”
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CHAPTER XIII.
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