8 Chapter 7: Friends To Avoid In This Phase Of Your Life (2/2)
This lifestyle is not ideal because of so many reasons:
One, they are risking their health and life. They can contact any of the STD's (s.e.xually Transmitted Diseases) since they are pa.s.sed from bed to bed (news will always flow around among young lecturers). Imagine how many lecturers one will have to sleep with if that is the only way you know to pa.s.s your examinations from your year one to your final year. Any reasonable student will admit that
it is better to sit down and study your books, rather than depending on lecturers to pa.s.s your exams.
Secondly, you will not give everybody a fair play ground in the examination hall since you have had access to the examination questions before them. This makes you a cheat. So, be careful; do not be a friend to such.
10. STUDENTS WHO ENCOURAGE ARISTOS
Some students are so crazy about money that they sell off their conscience in other to make it. Just for the sake of money, the desire to live a better life on campus, use a cell phone that their parents cannot afford to buy for them, drive a car that their parents will never hear about, or put on the latest of fas.h.i.+on wears, some decides to sleep around with adults who are old enough to be their parents.
These adults are called aristos in our schools today. Before now, they used to be addressed as Sugar Daddies and Sugar Mummies. But whatever designation they are given does not change the fact that the idea is not a good one. Why must you sleep around with people just in order to
live a higher life than you can really afford. That is deception of the greatest order. If you face your books squarely and you come out in flying colors, whatever level of life your parents cannot afford to give you today you will be able to afford once you begin to work. Then you would have forgotten all that you pa.s.sed through to get to where you are. But if you have had to sell your future because you want to be one of the happening guys/gals on campus, you will forever regret it in days to
come.
11. STUDENTS WHO SLEEPS WITH JUST ANYBODY
Bizarre as it may sound, some students are like this. They could be males or females. They sleep with just any student as long as the other party is willing to do same with them. They have no special preference, no likes or dislikes; all they need is just someone to abuse them, or someone they can abuse. Some of them can even decide to **** a member of the opposite s.e.x simply because there is no one around that is willing to satisfy their urge.
They really do not do this for any gain, financial or education. They only do it for the fun of it initially until their s.e.xual urge becomes so uncontrollable that they want it every now and then. They fall in and out of love so fast and change their bedmates as though they are changing bed sheets.
You really do not need any prophet to tell you that such a person is not a potential friend. Close friends.h.i.+p with such can destroy your life.
12. STUDENTS WHO SLEEPS WITH SAME s.e.x
You definitely have heard about lesbians and h.o.m.os.e.xuals, but you really may not have met any. In the next few years of your stay on campus, you will meet as many as possible. You will meet so many that you will think your campus is their breeding ground.
Contrary to what you think, they may not even hide their ident.i.ty. They may not be ashamed to admit it. They feel it is normal to be. You really may not have a problem with what someone else does with his own life; it is a free world. But this is where the problem lies; they do not keep their acts to themselves. They keep looking out for greenhorns like you to initiate into their caucus.
They may not walk up to you and scream to your face that ”I am gay, come be my pal”. They come closer to you by being extra nice and friendly. Once you approve of their friends.h.i.+p, then they begin to introduce to you their deadly venom. If you have been deceived up till this point, the earlier you call it quits the better for your future.
13. STUDENTS WHO DO NOT SHARE YOUR VISION
You really crave to make a success out of your stay on this campus. This I am sure of. At least, for you to have bought a book with this t.i.tle and to have gotten this far reading it proves to me that you really desire to be very serious with your academics so that you can graduate in flying colors. I will not be too surprised if your target is to leave this school with a first cla.s.s, or worse case, second
cla.s.s upper.
Quote me any day any time: Graduating with a first cla.s.s on this campus is very possible, no matter what someone else has told you, especially if you are able to lay the right foundation at this early stage. All you need to do is take your academics seriously, attend your lectures religiously, observe a daily personal study time and manage your time well. (Most of these things are discussed extensively in my other books and it will be needless to repeat them here. Go get a copy.)
You want to leave this school in flying colors; that is a commendable and achievable vision. But do not be carried away with the thought that all the fresh students you see on campus share your vision. Some of them have not even given their academics a thought talk-less of knowing what to graduate with.
Some of them are in school to pursue campus politics, some to become campus businessmen, campus models, campus celebrities, campus cultists, campus pastors, campus terrorists, etc, and their mind is made up. This is their vision, and this is what they pray to achieve before graduating from school. Whether they pa.s.s out or fail out does not make any difference to them. As long as they achieve their aim, they are okay.
”Two people cannot walk together unless they agree”, says The Great Book. You cannot be a friend to students who do not share your vision and still achieve the vision.
It is not possible. One vision will have to die for another to live, and most times, the good one dies.
This is why you need to carefully check if your vision aligns with the vision of those you want to make friends with so that they do not cause you to derail. A word is enough for the wise.
14. STUDENTS WHO MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR
All fingers are not equal. This is a known fact to everyone. However, a school environment is not a place where any student will want to intimidate, embarra.s.s, or molest another with his clothing, wears, phone, laptop, sound system, his father's wealth and fame or whatever.
Everyone should live together in unity and self respect. You will likely find on your campus some students who are so materialistic, so much so that they not only boast of their father's possession but also try to oppress others with it. They feel they should command extra respect from their mates simply because they always have more to spare, and they always demand for the respect when
not given.
This is not a good way to treat others. Students who behave like this have what is called superiority complex and will want to do anything to make others bow to them. If you notice such att.i.tude in any of your roommates or cla.s.smates, it is time to begin to define your relations.h.i.+p with such before you get hurt.
STUDENTS WHO ARE LAZY
You will find a group of students who are so lazy that the only thing they want to do on campus is only eat and sleep. They only force themselves to attend lectures and tutorials once in a while. Their problem is procrastination. They postpone everything they need to do for no just cause. They will
not go for their practical sessions, they do not attend laboratory sessions, they do not go for annual lectures and seminars, they do not go to the library for researches; they only eat and sleep. They spend more time on eating and sleeping than they spend on all academic-related
work put together.
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These students do not even take their time to do their a.s.signments. They keep procrastinating until the morning of the submission day when they just pick a cla.s.smate's book, copy the solution to the question word for word and then run to submit at the last minute. When you become a friend to such you begin to toil a path that leads to examination failure.
STUDENTS WHO DO NOT CONCENTRATE IN CLa.s.s
It is one thing to attend your lectures religiously. It is another to concentrate in cla.s.s. It is possible to sit in cla.s.s, stare at the board, listen to the lecturer, and not hear anything said or see anything written. You may be physically present but thousands of miles away from the cla.s.s in the spirit. This is a serious issue.
Aside being physically present but being lost in thought, which do happens to everyone once in a while and should not create any course for alarm unless it occurs repeatedly and uncontrollably, there is this group of people who intentionally come to cla.s.s to disturb the peace of the
cla.s.s. They make low disturbing noises to distract the lecturers or scream during the lectures. They throw things at the lecturer, or even pa.s.s impolite comments to distract both the students and the lecturers. Some of them may even decide to ask questions from the lecturer that have no relevance with the topic under discussion all in a bid to disrupt the cla.s.s.
These ones have made up their minds not to learn anything in cla.s.s, so many of them have alternative ways by which they pa.s.s their tests and examinations. So, their aim is to make as many people lose concentration in cla.s.s. They are always easy to know. Most times, you find them at the back of the lecture theatres. You will need to consciously decide not to join their group or else, before you know it, you will be numbered among them.
STUDENTS WHO FIGHT AND MAKE TROUBLES
If you think the operations of thugs and hooligans are limited to area boys in the garage, you are in for a surprise. You will soon discover that, there are, right there on your campus, and even in your hostels, students who are better addressed as hoodlums and criminals. They engage in all manner of things that qualifies them to be called touts. They are alutconscious, troublefriendly students who will do all in their power to disrupt the smooth academic calendar of the school. They are never interested in any academic work. They spend more time in organizing alutas and fomenting troubles than in studying. All they are interested in is troublemaking. They are terrors and oppressors on campus. They take offence at the least provocation from either the school authority or the student body to organize a campus wide 'aluta' (protests) which may last for days, weeks, and sometimes, months. During these times, no lecture holds in the cla.s.srooms. At times, it may even lead to the
closure of the entire school.
When you become a friend to such, there is a very high probability that you will be lured into their group.
STUDENTS WHO HAVE NO RELATIONs.h.i.+P WITH G.o.d
This is the greatest mistake any student can make; to think that you can go through school without a
supernatural a.s.sistance. You will always need G.o.d more than every other thing in order to survive on campus. You cannot do without Him. If He is interested in you, then you should also be interested in Him. He does not need you, but you will always need Him. This is why you must be genuinely interested in Him. Look for a fellows.h.i.+p where you can wors.h.i.+p and serve Him in whatever capacity you feel best.
You will see a lot of other students who really do not give a d.a.m.n whether there is a G.o.d or not. Do not make close friends.h.i.+p with them: It may rub off on you. You really do not know what kind of powers their parents have given them to fortify them before leaving home for school. So
do not desire to be like them. Your relations.h.i.+p with G.o.d will benefit you on campus and beyond. He will see to it that you live a peaceful life on campus and that you graduate well and in record time.
He will also see to it that you do not suffer even after graduating. Those who remember G.o.d on campus are not neglected by G.o.d outside campus. The things that your colleagues labour for will be given to you by favour because of your relations.h.i.+p with Him. You may do without any other thing, but you cannot succeed without a relations.h.i.+p with the one who created the heavens and the earth. This is why you must intentionally keep away from every one who discourages your relations.h.i.+p with Him. This is because with G.o.d, you have nothing to lose.
Final Word
Virtually, all of the problems you will face on campus will in a way be traceable to your a.s.sociation with the wrong set of people. Likewise, most of the successes and achievements you will celebrate will be as a result of the quality of the relations.h.i.+p you keep with students with
quality characters. This is why you need to be selective in your choice of a.s.sociation. Be careful who you a.s.sociate with and who you identify as friends. Do not just call everybody your friend; define every relations.h.i.+p.
This is why the English dictionary has a word for every relations.h.i.+p. The fact that someone is in your cla.s.s does not make him your friend; he is your cla.s.smate. That you share the same room does not make her your friend; she is your roommate. That you live in the same area at home does not make him your friend; he is your neighbour.
There are other words that define relations.h.i.+ps, words like housemate, hallmate, cellmate, birthdaymate, etc. Do not let your friends choose you; choose your friends. Friends.h.i.+p is by choice, not by force. Do not let any son or daughter of Belial impose himself on your life. Break up all unprofitable relations.h.i.+ps. Stop every wrong a.s.sociation before it stops you. Send packing any friend
whose way of life does not really tally with your morals before he blurs your vision and dampen your zeal.
Intentionally plant yourself in the midst of those whose ground will favour your spiritual growth and edify your faith the more. This factor is an important one in being a success on campus.
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